Does a 7 o'clock date mean dinner to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he was married 16 yrs, two kids. And he showed his bald head on date 1

Which seems to annoy you. The fact that he kept his hat on the second date and didn't show you his bald head seems to annoy you.

It seems like you might be the problem here.

[Anonymous]

OP, someone who usually doesn't eat after 7:00 is not going to be a fun life companion. Do you enjoy dining out? Do you enjoy going to dinner parties?

As far as the splitting the bill, I think you have to decide whether you are in an old-fashioned mindset that men should be paying for dates early in a relationship. And personally if I want to leave more of a tip, I would have just increased the amount each of us was leaving, not agreed to $30 and then tried to increase it after that.

It sounds like you're not that into him and you don't feel like he's that into you. Time to move on!

[Anonymous]

A 50 year old is a Generation Xer who was born in the mid-60s. He was growing up at a time when traditional gender roles were being questioned.

[Anonymous]

43 yr old woman here. I'm going to make my husband a special dinner tonight. OP-- thank you for the glimpse into what it's like out there to date. I think I would be the worst date. I eat dinner at 5--some days at 4:30. By 9, I'm in bed. The idea of getting together for drinks with someone at 9-- they might as well be suggesting 3:30 in the morning.

And no, I won't serve DH dinner tonight at 4:30. Since its 8:30 now, I'll plan on a late breakfast, a late lunch, and then I can do a late dinner at 6:30. In case you're wondering, the kids are 4 and 7 and the 3 of us eat at 5. DH and I sit and talk when he eats dinner after the kids are in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't annoyed, I was planning to pay. I was more surprised that he let me. And remember he had an extra drink so we ate and drank up the same amount. In fact, he had a shot prior to dinner so I think his portion was actually more! And I forgot to mention that he commented on how he couldn't believe I ate all that I did! If I were insecure that really would have bothered me but instead I view it as a red flag.

Here is your answer -- which was in the invite also. Hello -- I am a drinker! I really don't care about food (I know some people do so eat first!) The main event for me is DRINKING. Want to do Bar Fly with me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:43 yr old woman here. I'm going to make my husband a special dinner tonight. OP-- thank you for the glimpse into what it's like out there to date. I think I would be the worst date. I eat dinner at 5--some days at 4:30. By 9, I'm in bed. The idea of getting together for drinks with someone at 9-- they might as well be suggesting 3:30 in the morning.

And no, I won't serve DH dinner tonight at 4:30. Since its 8:30 now, I'll plan on a late breakfast, a late lunch, and then I can do a late dinner at 6:30. In case you're wondering, the kids are 4 and 7 and the 3 of us eat at 5. DH and I sit and talk when he eats dinner after the kids are in bed.

Thanks for sharing the fascinating details of your life.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you've let the people who say that no woman over X age can get a decent date get into your head, because after what you've described there is no way you should even consider going out with him again- he doesn't like you! That was clear after your first meetup- he wasn't motivated to see you again and only ended up doing it because you hinted at it. Not to mention, are you even compatible with someone who has nightmares if they eat after 7?? And he couldn't remove his hat indoors- someone his age knows better.

There will be other men OP. Truly.

[Anonymous]

You gave him a chance, he doesn't sound great, and he's not a good match for you. Move on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just not used to paying. I'm 49 and most of the men my age pay. I didn't really mind paying for my dinner but I also paid for my drink and split his. He also wore his hat, didn't walk me to my car and commented on how he couldn't believe I ate three tacos.

If all of this bothers you, why are you even thinking about it anymore. He's not for you.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, don't see this guy again. The fact that he expected to go Dutch is fine. The fact that he tried to inconvenience you by suggesting that you eat really early prior to the date, and then commented negatively on the amount that you ate, and is so rigid that he can't eat past 7 pm are major red flags.

[Anonymous]

43 yr old woman here. I'm going to make my husband a special dinner tonight. OP-- thank you for the glimpse into what it's like out there to date. I think I would be the worst date. I eat dinner at 5--some days at 4:30. By 9, I'm in bed. The idea of getting together for drinks with someone at 9-- they might as well be suggesting 3:30 in the morning.

And no, I won't serve DH dinner tonight at 4:30. Since its 8:30 now, I'll plan on a late breakfast, a late lunch, and then I can do a late dinner at 6:30. In case you're wondering, the kids are 4 and 7 and the 3 of us eat at 5. DH and I sit and talk when he eats dinner after the kids are in bed.[code]

Cool story, bro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So we met and I was famished. My plan was to eat and pay for myself so I opened the menu. He stated that he usually doesn't eat past 7 pm because he gets bad dreams..!?? He didn't appear to be joking. I ordered an entree and he had soup. We split chips and guac, I had one glass of wine, he too. Convo was okay, he's cute but I wasn't impressed that he kept his hat on the whole meai.. But that's certainly not a deal breaker. Well, the check came and I was talking so he picked it up and opened it. Since my plan all along was to pay for my own dinner I reached for my purse. He immediately stated, "Let's split it. I don't mind doing that, it's fine" (as if he was doing me a favor or something). Bill came to $52, we each put in $30. I mentioned how our server was excellent and maybe we should tip a bit more and he said, "well how do you want to do that?" I said maybe he could take the cash and put it on his card which he did. I was really only thinking a few more dollars but maybe that wasn't necessary. I was parked in a lot so he walked me to the garage (not the car) hugged me and left.

Clearly he's not interested but I wasn't impressed that he left with my $30 in his wallet. It just doesn't seem like a man who wants to impress me and put his best foot forward.

Would I go out with him again if he asked? Possibly but I wouldn't expect to pay.

WTH would you even consider going out with him? Weirdo and NOT interested in you. Hello.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't annoyed, I was planning to pay. I was more surprised that he let me. And remember he had an extra drink so we ate and drank up the same amount. In fact, he had a shot prior to dinner so I think his portion was actually more! And I forgot to mention that he commented on how he couldn't believe I ate all that I did! If I were insecure that really would have bothered me but instead I view it as a red flag.

Um, he has Asperger's or is just a dud. What 50 year old guy does shots on a first or second date? And why in heaven's name is he commenting on the volume of food you ate? You must be desperate to even consider giving him another chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:43 yr old woman here. I'm going to make my husband a special dinner tonight. OP-- thank you for the glimpse into what it's like out there to date. I think I would be the worst date. I eat dinner at 5--some days at 4:30. By 9, I'm in bed. The idea of getting together for drinks with someone at 9-- they might as well be suggesting 3:30 in the morning.

And no, I won't serve DH dinner tonight at 4:30. Since its 8:30 now, I'll plan on a late breakfast, a late lunch, and then I can do a late dinner at 6:30. In case you're wondering, the kids are 4 and 7 and the 3 of us eat at 5. DH and I sit and talk when he eats dinner after the kids are in bed.

Thanks for sharing the fascinating details of your life.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he was married 16 yrs, two kids. And he showed his bald head on date 1

I can't believe he was married that long.