I can't handle the competition at K

[Anonymous]

Okay, your scorn for the other little girl is palpable. While it's great that you appreciate your little free spirit's gifts, it sounds like her school is not a good match for you, at least. Perhaps you should investigate your alternatives.

And for the love of God, quit bad mouthing your child's friends.

[Anonymous]

My child is well-behaved.

However, if my five year old kindergartner did everything the school required - not talk, sit quietly for hours, not touch anything, follow every word of the teacher - I'd take her to a psychiatrist.

We're not raising robots here.

If a teacher cannot manage a group of kids and has to spend her entire school year obsessing about obedience, there is something wrong with that picture.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's clear from your posts that you think that your child is great and the school is awful. Please withdraw her from the school and find an alternative.

[Anonymous]

If a teacher cannot manage a group of kids and has to spend her entire school year obsessing about obedience, there is something wrong with that picture.

Who said she would spend the entire school year doing this? If the kids do not know how to behave--and the parents think that s fine, just what do you expect. If every kid who wants to gets up and wanders around, it could be a mess.

[Anonymous]

All children are great. They're all unique and all are talented. Why beat them into submission? Why create competition for teacher's praise and awards?

I'm watching a documentary about Finnish schools and the kids call the teachers by first names, the atmosphere is very casual in the classroom. They're talking, interacting, getting up and moving around. Yet, it doesn't affect the academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If the kids do not know how to behave--and the parents think that s fine, just what do you expect.

I think it's fine that a 5 year old wants to move around and touch things. And talk. It's perfectly normal for this age.

[Anonymous]

Sure, five year olds should want to move around and touch things. Why don't we just put them in the classroom and let them do that all day? Just let the parents take turns watching them and get rid of teaching.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should look into a Montessori school for your daughter? There will still be a LOT of rules, but she'll be allowed to walk around and talk most of the time. Of course, if she spends all her time talking about not-school-related stuff, the teacher will still correct her, and you may have a problem with that too.

But it's clear that the current school isn't a good fit for your daughter. If you're going to stay where you are, you should probably accept that the teacher will expect children to follow rules, to listen respectfully, and to keep her hands off things that aren't hers (or aren't for her use at the moment).

And please... I don't believe for one second that the K kids aren't allowed to talk and are sitting quietly for hours. Every elem classroom I've ever seen has lots of motion and time for different activities. That still doesn't mean the kid can get up and talk and do whatever they want on their own timetable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I forgot to say....

don't speak ill of other people's children. absolutely no good can come of it. You wrote:
"The chosen girl is very competitive, pushy, tries very hard to be perfect, to win and to receive praise." Not nice at all.

Why is it not nice? That's her personality. She's competitive and ambitious, that's good for leadership skills and achievements. But she's also a little pushy and dependent on approval from others, and that's not good. My daughter has good and bad traits too. She doesn't give a f**k about what other people think of her, but she also doesn't like to follow instructions and imitate others, so it's harder for her to learn. She also doesn't challenge herself, she needs a little encouragement. All the kids are different and not perfect.

Really? This is someone else's child. With the other girl, you could say "assertive" but you say pushy. For your daughter, you say "doesn't follow directions and imitate others" when you could say "recalcitrant and dismissive."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was wondering the same thing.

I do get were OP is coming from. Our school gives out monthly public awards for good behavior. The kids that have mastered sucking up and becoming teachers pets always get these awards. And then the parents post about it on facebook. It does get old after a while.

It only matters if you care. I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Really? This is someone else's child. With the other girl, you could say "assertive" but you say pushy. For your daughter, you say "doesn't follow directions and imitate others" when you could say "recalcitrant and dismissive."

Fine, she's stubborn and dismissive. I can call it "persistent" and "independent", but I won't. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

It's true. The feedback we get and the comments the kids are given at school are all about behavior. Are they told to do this at teacher training for MCPS or something?

I do feel bad for my squirmy DD since she told me she feels "stupid" because she is always being called out, "Sit still, Larla." "Lara, shhh." "Larla you left your glue uncapped." "Larla, you are not making a straight line." There has been no comment on the fact that DD is very curious and excited about learning, reads and writes well and can do pretty advanced math for her age. I do think behavior should be the No. 1 most important thing in K but not like this when it is hurting kids' feelings and grouping them into "good" and "bad" kids the way OP describes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did we not just start the school year? My DD is in K and there have been no awards given. How would they even know who to give awards to at this point. Op you can't handle the competition and you are the one creating the competition!

OP here. Yes, just started. And awards in K is ridiculous. WTF? So you see the kids just started and they're already creating competition and segregating kids into the good ones and bad ones. I know there is at least one "bad" boy in class who is in time-out all the time. So we just started and there are already the teacher's favorites and teacher's least favorites.

And EVERYTHING is about behavior. All the criticism and praise are about behavior, nothing else. They get stickers and gifts for good behavior, reprimanded for any minor thing, talking at lunch break, for example. Again, WTF? Reward them for being curious, for trying hard, for being creative, for meaningful things, not for holding their hands behind their backs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did we not just start the school year? My DD is in K and there have been no awards given. How would they even know who to give awards to at this point. Op you can't handle the competition and you are the one creating the competition!

OP here. Yes, just started. And awards in K is ridiculous. WTF? So you see the kids just started and they're already creating competition and segregating kids into the good ones and bad ones. I know there is at least one "bad" boy in class who is in time-out all the time. So we just started and there are already the teacher's favorites and teacher's least favorites.

And EVERYTHING is about behavior. All the criticism and praise are about behavior, nothing else. They get stickers and gifts for good behavior, reprimanded for any minor thing, talking at lunch break, for example. Again, WTF? Reward them for being curious, for trying hard, for being creative, for meaningful things, not for holding their hands behind their backs.

Yes, it is more about behavior and social skills in K then it is about academics.

This is why so many parents dislike K because it's their child's first time in school and their child is essentially not brilliant at it. It's the parents realization that their kid is not perfect and that even though little Larla can recite the multiplication tables -in French and Mandarin as well as English - that little Larla actually does need K and needs to learn quite a bit before 1st grade.

My child is in 4th. I don't know any parent who looks back now and says they wish their kid had skipped K. They all now realize that their child did learn a lot and needed to learn and what they learned wasn't necessarily academic.

[Anonymous]

So here's what we have:

OP's child goes to a school that gave out an award to children, but not to her child.

OP think her child's school focuses too much on behavior.

Somehow we drifted into...

* the school only values good behavior and doesn't value individuality.

* all schools outside of Finland teach nothing in kinder except being docile and well-behaved.

* the award is really, really stupid (so who wants it anyway)?

* the other girl is really really awful.

* the teacher probably sucks, too.

Good luck, OP. It is going to be a very long 13 years for you. You will need some friends to get through your child's schooling, so no matter what you think of other people's children, you really should play nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did we not just start the school year? My DD is in K and there have been no awards given. How would they even know who to give awards to at this point. Op you can't handle the competition and you are the one creating the competition!

OP here. Yes, just started. And awards in K is ridiculous. WTF? So you see the kids just started and they're already creating competition and segregating kids into the good ones and bad ones. I know there is at least one "bad" boy in class who is in time-out all the time. So we just started and there are already the teacher's favorites and teacher's least favorites.

And EVERYTHING is about behavior. All the criticism and praise are about behavior, nothing else. They get stickers and gifts for good behavior, reprimanded for any minor thing, talking at lunch break, for example. Again, WTF? Reward them for being curious, for trying hard, for being creative, for meaningful things, not for holding their hands behind their backs.

maybe this is the wrong school for you and your child.