I can't handle the competition at K

[Anonymous]

Well, our techer does seem to prefer the easy kids. And no boys in honor club yet.

It just feels wrong to focus education around obedience. I didn't send my child to school to learn to walk in straight lines. So I don't approve of this obsession with behavior.

I just talked to my friend whose son started K and she said the same. His not a trouble maker, but constantly gets reprimanded by the teacher. "He touches art on the wall. . " he said no to me" etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, our techer does seem to prefer the easy kids. And no boys in honor club yet.

It just feels wrong to focus education around obedience. I didn't send my child to school to learn to walk in straight lines. So I don't approve of this obsession with behavior.

I just talked to my friend whose son started K and she said the same. His not a trouble maker, but constantly gets reprimanded by the teacher. "He touches art on the wall. . " he said no to me" etc.

It does not sound like behavior has anything to do with the reason your daughter wasn't chosen. You describe her as not as verbal, ok academically as opposed to advanced, and not a child who discloses what she knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, our techer does seem to prefer the easy kids. And no boys in honor club yet.

It just feels wrong to focus education around obedience. I didn't send my child to school to learn to walk in straight lines. So I don't approve of this obsession with behavior.

I just talked to my friend whose son started K and she said the same. His not a trouble maker, but constantly gets reprimanded by the teacher. "He touches art on the wall. . " he said no to me" etc.

I think you might be happier if you homeschooled your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It does not sound like behavior has anything to do with the reason your daughter wasn't chosen. You describe her as not as verbal, ok academically as opposed to advanced, and not a child who discloses what she knows.

She's quiet. She knows quite a bit, but will not shout out the answer, not trying to impress the teacher.
. The chosen girl is very competitive, pushy, tries very hard to be perfect, to win and to receive praise. Just different personalities.

Just the fact that a teacher has favorites makes me cringe.

[Anonymous]

I think it may be a little early in the year to be making all these assumptions. And are you in the classroom every day? How do you know so much about what goes on? My child acts pretty differently at school than she does at home. (She is actually more outgoing at school than at home). So you may have this all wrong. Give it time.

That said and I don't think they should have an honor society in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It does not sound like behavior has anything to do with the reason your daughter wasn't chosen. You describe her as not as verbal, ok academically as opposed to advanced, and not a child who discloses what she knows.

She's quiet. She knows quite a bit, but will not shout out the answer, not trying to impress the teacher.
. The chosen girl is very competitive, pushy, tries very hard to be perfect, to win and to receive praise. Just different personalities.

Just the fact that a teacher has favorites makes me cringe.

OP, there is no way you can know that it's just different personalities. You can't possibly know how the other child is doing academically. And, frankly, in real life, whether it's kindergarten or after you're in the job market, if you don't show your skills, you are going to miss out on opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So what I'm seeing is that the elementary school system values good behavior and obedience above all. That's sad.

Well said.
If a student is late a minute, s/he is tardy, which is interpreted as laziness, while those who are always on time but do not do much, are regarded as students who "try their best" who need all the encouragement ...

[Anonymous]

Did we not just start the school year? My DD is in K and there have been no awards given. How would they even know who to give awards to at this point. Op you can't handle the competition and you are the one creating the competition!

[Anonymous]

OP -

I mean this with kindness. Please accept that you can never know everything about what goes on at school. You can never know anything about anyone else's child. Some percentage of what your own child tells you won't be true. Learn it early - back away from the kids and don't worry about other people. Does your kid even care that she didn't get this award?

A few years from now, you will probably be complaining that everyone on the soccer team got a trophy, and just like this, it probably won't even matter to your kid.

[Anonymous]

and I forgot to say....

don't speak ill of other people's children. absolutely no good can come of it. You wrote:
"The chosen girl is very competitive, pushy, tries very hard to be perfect, to win and to receive praise." Not nice at all.

You are working yourself into a tizzy about something that really doesn't matter and isn't about your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did we not just start the school year? My DD is in K and there have been no awards given. How would they even know who to give awards to at this point. Op you can't handle the competition and you are the one creating the competition!

OP here. Yes, just started. And awards in K is ridiculous. WTF? So you see the kids just started and they're already creating competition and segregating kids into the good ones and bad ones. I know there is at least one "bad" boy in class who is in time-out all the time. So we just started and there are already the teacher's favorites and teacher's least favorites.

And EVERYTHING is about behavior. All the criticism and praise are about behavior, nothing else. They get stickers and gifts for good behavior, reprimanded for any minor thing, talking at lunch break, for example. Again, WTF? Reward them for being curious, for trying hard, for being creative, for meaningful things, not for holding their hands behind their backs.

[Anonymous]

In kindergarten, the kids are rowdy. That's why they have to focus on behavior. No it's not just boys, in fact, in my child's classroom the loudest kids are girls, in a bad way. The teachers have to also introduce the kids to staying in a place for the whole day. Kindergarteners won't learn much academically. But the Honor club in kindergarten is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and I forgot to say....

don't speak ill of other people's children. absolutely no good can come of it. You wrote:
"The chosen girl is very competitive, pushy, tries very hard to be perfect, to win and to receive praise." Not nice at all.

Why is it not nice? That's her personality. She's competitive and ambitious, that's good for leadership skills and achievements. But she's also a little pushy and dependent on approval from others, and that's not good. My daughter has good and bad traits too. She doesn't give a f**k about what other people think of her, but she also doesn't like to follow instructions and imitate others, so it's harder for her to learn. She also doesn't challenge herself, she needs a little encouragement. All the kids are different and not perfect.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is your goal here?

[Anonymous]

In kindergarten, the kids are rowdy. That's why they have to focus on behavior. No it's not just boys, in fact, in my child's classroom the loudest kids are girls, in a bad way. The teachers have to also introduce the kids to staying in a place for the whole day. Kindergarteners won't learn much academically. But the Honor club in kindergarten is stupid.

Agree. And, with parents who put no value on good behavior, it is a wonder that any teacher can get anything done.