I can't handle the competition at K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told you upthread EXACTLY how I do this

Working through your feelings?
Does bullying make you sad? Yes, it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that your increasingly unsavory description of the other girl and her behavior toward your DD is your way to capture sympathy for yourself and your DD. And to distract from the unreasonable wish list you have for your daughter's individualized school year.

Why is it unreasonable to expect for children to work on their individual needs?

I sent DD to school and purposely wasn't involved because I don't want to helicopter parent. But she started telling me more about school and I started to pay attention I've become very disappointed.

I'm not looking for your sympathy. I'm just venting.

A teacher cannot possibly individualize the curriculum and the classroom experience to highlight and nurture the individual quirks and gifts of each child. A Kindergarten teacher's job is to get a large number of children at varying ability levels ready for first grade. The beginning of the year is especially tricky because she must assess where each child is re: numbers, letters, reading, *social skills. She is likely dealing with a number of children who have never been in a formal classroom or been in class all day long.

Is DD your only child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that your increasingly unsavory description of the other girl and her behavior toward your DD is your way to capture sympathy for yourself and your DD. And to distract from the unreasonable wish list you have for your daughter's individualized school year.

Why is it unreasonable to expect for children to work on their individual needs?

I sent DD to school and purposely wasn't involved because I don't want to helicopter parent. But she started telling me more about school and I started to pay attention I've become very disappointed.

I'm not looking for your sympathy. I'm just venting.

At 5, your child has an "individual" need to learn how to function in a group, read, understand numbers and basic math, follow instructions, manage social interactions, etc etc - which is what K is all about - as much as the next child. If she is struggling socially you, as her parent, have the responsibility to remain dispassionate and understand what is motivating it - which may or may not be exactly what she is telling you. Young children exxagerate all the time. They tell stories. My son tells me his teacher is "mean" all the time, and I know better because I've spoken with her, and I've visited the classroom and seen how she interacts with the kids, and she and her co-teachers are all lovely. The bottom line is that he doesn't want to follow instructions and guess what? That's too damned bad. I don't think I'm doing him any service by saying "Gee Larlo, you're right. Mrs. Brown is a big meanie for expecting you to be respectful in class." Instead I say "Mrs. Brown, daddy and I have high expectations for you and we know that you can do it. We all want to see you do your best." Your strategy sounds like undermining the teacher, which isn't a real winner for either of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told you upthread EXACTLY how I do this

Working through your feelings?
Does bullying make you sad? Yes, it does.

What are you talking about? Does being a defensive smartass know-it-all make YOU sad? I'm guessing it does, though you have too much bravado to admit it.

[Anonymous]

OP, where are you located? The school's complete disregard for your concerns about bullying sounds worrisome. I would focus on the bullying first and stop worrying about the principal's club (your initial complaint) and the short recess (your most recent complaint).

Are you in the DC area? Surely someone here has experience with reporting bullies in your school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told you upthread EXACTLY how I do this

Working through your feelings?
Does bullying make you sad? Yes, it does.

What are you talking about? Does being a defensive smartass know-it-all make YOU sad? I'm guessing it does, though you have too much bravado to admit it.

I also have to say I love how you quote things selectively and out of full context to make yourself look better. It's not fooling anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told you upthread EXACTLY how I do this

Working through your feelings?
Does bullying make you sad? Yes, it does.

OP, here is a model of how to ask for and accept advice:

You: I am having this problem. Any advice on how to solve it?
People: *provide advice*
You: Thank you, I will think about what you've said.

Now, here is a model of what NOT to do:

You: I am having this problem. Any advice on how to solve it?
People: *provide advice*
You: That advice is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, where are you located? The school's complete disregard for your concerns about bullying sounds worrisome. I would focus on the bullying first and stop worrying about the principal's club (your initial complaint) and the short recess (your most recent complaint).

Are you in the DC area? Surely someone here has experience with reporting bullies in your school district.

Read the whole thread and take OP's comments with a grain of salt. I HIGHLY doubt the school has "complete disregard for her concenrs." I question how, exactly, she has addressed them and whether her timing or methods were actually constructive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told you upthread EXACTLY how I do this

Working through your feelings?
Does bullying make you sad? Yes, it does.

OP, here is a model of how to ask for and accept advice:

You: I am having this problem. Any advice on how to solve it?
People: *provide advice*
You: Thank you, I will think about what you've said.

Now, here is a model of what NOT to do:

You: I am having this problem. Any advice on how to solve it?
People: *provide advice*
You: That advice is stupid.

Well, OP just said she doesn't actually want advice, she just wants to vent. And she remains furious that people are giving her advice that isn't what she wants to hear.

[Anonymous]

This is not advice. Just personal attacks.
"I told you you are a terrible, immature, entitled, vindictive person. Why didn't you take my advice?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not advice. Just personal attacks.
"I told you you are a terrible, immature, entitled, vindictive person. Why didn't you take my advice?"

Okay, OP. You are right. All of your perspectives are 100% correct and the school is terrible and teachers are incompetent and your kid's spirit is being crushed and she's not being recognized for all of her special talents and she's not learning enough and not learning it the right way and not getting enough individual attention and everyone is dismissive of you and you and your DD are the sufferers of a huge injustices that must be righted because no one understands you and if everyone just did everything the way that you think they should then all would be right with the world.

Feel better now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Okay, OP. You are right. All of your perspectives are 100% correct and the school is terrible and teachers are incompetent and your kid's spirit is being crushed and she's not being recognized for all of her special talents and she's not learning enough and not learning it the right way and not getting enough individual attention and everyone is dismissive of you and you and your DD are the sufferers of a huge injustices that must be righted because no one understands you and if everyone just did everything the way that you think they should then all would be right with the world.

Feel better now?

No. I'm trying not to think in black and white.

However, I'm very concerned about DD right now. Not about the special club, but for her social skills and this weird friendship.

And I'm just crushed that I'm the one who has been fostering this friendship with the other girl. I put DD in the same school, I thought they'd support each other being friends and all.

The girl behaves herself well in front of adults, but I'm not sure what's going on when no one is looking. A year ago I saw that girl sit on top of DD on a playground and was slapping her face. Her mother and I intervened and wrote it off to kids being kids. You know, kids hit and kick and bite each other sometimes.

After the last play date a few weeks ago my DD came back from their house and told me she never wants to do it again. I said "OK, no more play dates". But now this came up.

Of course, the teacher is not going to take me seriously. She just nominated this girl as a model citizen to the special club. She doesn't know her family.

I'm afraid that I've either been totally blind or I'm totally overreacting. I'm trying to grasp for some rational middle ground. I'm trying for my fears not to get the best of me and act rationally.
So I rationally went to the teacher and talked with her and DD. She assured us that it's a little bump in the road and she'll take measures. But I'm starting to doubt that the teacher can do anything about this whole thing.

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid that I've either been totally blind or I'm totally overreacting. I'm trying to grasp for some rational middle ground. I'm trying for my fears not to get the best of me and act rationally.
So I rationally went to the teacher and talked with her and DD. She assured us that it's a little bump in the road and she'll take measures. But I'm starting to doubt that the teacher can do anything about this whole thing.

Op, the teacher can watch and divert, but she cannot change any child overnight. Things will probably improve over time. It sounds like part of the problem is that you are friends with the mother and frustrated that the kids are not a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Of course, the teacher is not going to take me seriously. She just nominated this girl as a model citizen to the special club. She doesn't know her family.

What does an award for the child have to do with her family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Of course, the teacher is not going to take me seriously. She just nominated this girl as a model citizen to the special club. She doesn't know her family.

What does an award for the child have to do with her family?

Oh just stop feeding OP already.