I can't handle the competition at K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the hell IS an "honors club?" I've been a public school teacher for 14 years and an administrator for 10 years (always at the elementary level). I've taught in 3 different states and have never heard of an "honors club."

I've heard of the Natiional Honor Society but nothing at the elementary level. Please explain this honors club and what exactly it entails.

Principal Ambassador’s Club. They spend special time with the principal and get special accolades and treats. They're being distinguished from other students.

Gross and phony. What kind of school does this to five year olds? Some weird British thing?

[Anonymous]

bad school practice. But I also can't imagine caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So DD started K this year and she ended up in a class with her friend and our good friends' daughter. The other girl is pretty bright, she's also very competitive and has a people-pleaser personality. So she tries extra hard. She became teacher's pet. The teacher is an older country woman who likes the proper manners and "nice" girls.

My DD isn't competitive at all. My DD is a little quirky and shy, and although grasps things quickly, she's not as verbal.

I've just read that the other girl got into the special honors club already and ouch, that hurts that my DD didn't. Despite the fact that I supplement an hour a day with her at home and she's making good progress.

Here's a secret: all teachers like well-mannered kids who try hard, and it's a bonus if they're "pretty bright." (!)

It may hurt YOU that your snowflake didn't get chosen for the Amateur Mendicant Society or whatever, but it sounds like your DD doesn't care. Take a clue from her and move on before you give her a complex and interfere with the friendship.

[Anonymous]

The teacher likes "proper manners"........does your DD not have "proper manners?" Then, teach her some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So DD started K this year and she ended up in a class with her friend and our good friends' daughter. The other girl is pretty bright, she's also very competitive and has a people-pleaser personality. So she tries extra hard. She became teacher's pet. The teacher is an older country woman who likes the proper manners and "nice" girls.

My DD isn't competitive at all. My DD is a little quirky and shy, and although grasps things quickly, she's not as verbal.

I've just read that the other girl got into the special honors club already and ouch, that hurts that my DD didn't. Despite the fact that I supplement an hour a day with her at home and she's making good progress.

Your DD is academically average and is the kind of kid who is going to have to work hard to get A's and B's.

I went through the Same thing with my kid in k-2 and yep it does sting to realize your kid isn't "gifted" for real and the supplementing is needed to make sure they stay just a little bit ahead of the curve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you possibly the one who is a little competitive? My DD is in K and I cannot even imagine this being on my radar.

I'm, I can't help it. I compare kids all the time. How do I get out of this competitive mindset?

By stop being insecure and start loving your child for who she is. If you don't stop, you will make your DD start feeling insecure about herself and start having low self-esteem. I'm guessing you don't want that for your kid. Start setting an example of a woman who is happy with herself. Your girl has gifts that are unique to her. Make it your mission to nurture these gifts and stop worrying about everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you possibly the one who is a little competitive? My DD is in K and I cannot even imagine this being on my radar.

I'm, I can't help it. I compare kids all the time. How do I get out of this competitive mindset?

Being confident in who you are and who your child is. No need to justify yourself against others.

And recognize that you never know what is going on in someone else's life. Focus on yourself--and your kid--not on others. And everything will be great.

[Anonymous]

Now one gives a bullshit about what you did in elementary school. In Kindergarten, most kids don't give a shit about awards. They just want the day to end so they can sleep at home or play with friends.

These awards only matter in middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Isn't it early in the school year to be selecting kids for anything?

[Anonymous]

Curious. Why are you supplementing an hour a day? Trying to trick the school into thinking she is gifted?

[Anonymous]

Now one gives a bullshit about what you did in elementary school. In Kindergarten, most kids don't give a shit about awards. They just want the day to end so they can sleep at home or play with friends.

These awards only matter in middle and high school.

Good advice. My DD, an introverted and deep thinking child, was recognized almost not at all in elementary and middle. In high school, she won many awards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you possibly the one who is a little competitive? My DD is in K and I cannot even imagine this being on my radar.

I'm, I can't help it. I compare kids all the time. How do I get out of this competitive mindset?

You tell yourself, "I am going to focus on my child instead of on what other children are doing." And then you tell yourself that again, and again, and again, every time it comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher likes "proper manners"........does your DD not have "proper manners?" Then, teach her some.

No. Also my DD doesn't give a f**k about pleasing others. Or trying hard for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So ... the other girl is better at standing in lines facing forward? Using whatever the "proper" grip is on a pencil these days?

Who gives a shit? It's KINDERGARTEN.

It's for "students who try their best in both academics and good citizenship".

What about kids who are not people pleasers, who don't try hard to please the teacher?

Then they don't get that award, and life goes on just fine. It is kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious. Why are you supplementing an hour a day? Trying to trick the school into thinking she is gifted?

No, no, no. I could could care less about trying to impress the school. I'm supplementing because am not sure the she is doing enough in class. Reading, math reasoning, math.

She is not gifted, she is average. But she catches on to concepts very very quickly. So it's pretty easy. What's hard is making her work a little because she only wants to play and do the fun stuff, nothing that requires effort. So I'm teaching her to make a little effort every day.