Teasing vs. getting physical

[Anonymous]

Dumb broad enabling her two dumb kids who are destined to get their asses kicked repeatedly if they keep talking shit to and messing with the wrong people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...I think the "raiding" is part of the game in a way.

the two big kids also guard a certain piece of playground equipment and tell the other kids they can't use it so my kids try to use it.

I think what is happening is that the two big kids are being controlling jerks so the 4 other kids bug them in return.

I don't know...I think we may all sit down and talk about. the mother of the other kids who is being squeezed is concerned..and she asked her son, what exactly are you all doing to "tease" that is bugging the two big boys and her son was at a loss to think of anything besides "raiding" the fort...so she told me, Stand your ground on the teasing thing..Do not concede that your kids are actually doing any teasing because we have no evidence that they are actually doing any teasing..

What??

First of all, either the raiding is part of the game -- and they all agree with that -- or it isn't. In other words, are your kids actually part of the game or aren't they? It shouldn't be a tough question. If raiding the trading post isn't part of the game then your kids are being a royal pain in the ass.

If two big kids are guarding a certain piece of playground equipment then get a supervisor to deal with it.

Getting physical is never okay, but all you are doing is coming up with excuses for your kids' behavior. They are antagonizing people, and then crying foul when someone reacts.

[Anonymous]

22:17 here. I do not condone kids getting physical. Parents like you drive me nuts though. You have been told that your kids are doing something that is annoying someone else to the point of reacting. Yet all you do is whine that someone reacted.

Deal with your own kids, and the "squeezing" will resolve itself.

[Anonymous]

Now I am hearing a story that two kids are playing with stick they have collected when four other kids decided to bother the two kids and take the things the first two had collected. How exactly are the four boys playng? They are harassing and taking things from two classmates who are playing by themselves.

OP, denile is not jur a river in Egypt.

Again, the solution is simple. Tell your two angle twins to not take things from classmate and to not tease classmates.

Seriously, when you have four boys harassing two boys, how is it that you still think the two boys are at fault?

[Anonymous]

Repeat after me: provocation. Your kids found out it gets a big bad reaction when they disrupt these other boys' game. Maybe they believe they are playing a game, maybe they are just BSing you. But you are utterly and entirely missing the point. And the more you say, the more clueless you sound. I feel for your kids. They are learning that they can do whatever they want, point the finger at someone else, and you will not only support them but go to town against the other kid.

[Anonymous]

The other mom sounds like a piece of work too. "Oh our kids are doing nothing but raiding their fort" as if that isn't anything. They are deliberately disrupting other children's project and game. Thats not nothing.

Honestly, you are way too involved in this. You are just going at it, narcing on the other mom to her boss, gathering allies with another mother.

[Anonymous]

I never heard of "really popular" 7 yr olds!! What grade- 2nd or 3rd? Get real. There's no popular at this age.

I think you need a reality check. Teasing is bad. I'm sure your twins aren't as sweet and innocent as you think. Our kids all behave differently in school than at home. You just don't see their full behavior. You can only control how your kids behave so focus on that.

[Anonymous]

when i was 7 i would beat the fuck out of other kids or girls that bullied me. haha

[Anonymous]

And yes...there is popular kids when you are around 8 years old....the more popular kids at that age tend to be the ones that are slightly more physically active. that can change in years as everyone develops at certain a certain pace but at that age usually the more active kids involved in sports are usually more popular with the boys. It would be wise to enlist your kids in sports as early as you can so they can create early friendships and have a place in the social ladder early on. other wise they will be an outkast till HS ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to break it to you--but your kids are getting what they deserve. This is called a natural consequence.

It's a pretty simple equation--- if you pick on people, some of them are going to get ticked off and lash out at you. The message to your son should be -- "i'm sorry that your friend lost his temper, I guess you shouldn't pick on him again." I would focus on that rather than whether it's "worse to tease or be physical." Yes, it would be lovely if all kids and adult could give your child a better consequence than pysical retaliation. But, in the real world, if you act like a jerk, occassionally you're going to meet someone that will call you out for your crappy behavior. In boy world that is occassionally going to be phsical.

You are not doing your son any favor by trying to make his "friends" put up with his crap. Work with him to learn how to interact more appropriately and read the social cues to learn when he is crossing the line and to STOP when people are getting irritated. Querry--would you be happier if the boy that your kids was teasing marshalled all his friends to verbally tease your boys in retaliation? Would that be better?

I have come across kids like yours in my son's grade. Their parents think they are the victims when they are really the instigators. Often the same parents, if they are around at all, have the nose in the I-phone and conveinently miss the crappy thing their kid did to irritate their "friends."

+1000!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here..I am not going to go see a mediator; I am not going to spend a couple of hours in some sort of touchy-feely mediation session (I am not going to pay for some such and I wouldn't go even if it was free.) Um, this isn't rocket science. It is a simple issue. These kids are in 2nd grade.

I am going to tell my kids to stop teasing and the other parent can tell her kid to KEEP HIS HANDS TO HIMSELF.

I am also going to have the principal and the playground monitor and/or teachers do the same. Maybe I will put signs up on the playground - KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF. DO NOT SUFFOCATE OTHER CHILDREN. DO NOT SQUEEZE OTHER CHILDREN.

Your forgot one. DO NOT TEASE OTHER CHILDREN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice...if you don't want your pipsqueak twins to get their asses kicked tell em to watch who they mouth off to.

Here it is OP. Your kids are at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think both your kids are contributing to an ongoing problem and both sets of parents need to be in touch with the school to insist on appropriate supervision. Nobody should be betting hurt at all. And teasing needs to be addressed too.

Oh great, our tax money at work.

Why don't both sets of parents try disciplining their children for once?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to break it to you--but your kids are getting what they deserve. This is called a natural consequence.

It's a pretty simple equation--- if you pick on people, some of them are going to get ticked off and lash out at you. The message to your son should be -- "i'm sorry that your friend lost his temper, I guess you shouldn't pick on him again." I would focus on that rather than whether it's "worse to tease or be physical." Yes, it would be lovely if all kids and adult could give your child a better consequence than pysical retaliation. But, in the real world, if you act like a jerk, occassionally you're going to meet someone that will call you out for your crappy behavior. In boy world that is occassionally going to be phsical.

You are not doing your son any favor by trying to make his "friends" put up with his crap. Work with him to learn how to interact more appropriately and read the social cues to learn when he is crossing the line and to STOP when people are getting irritated. Querry--would you be happier if the boy that your kids was teasing marshalled all his friends to verbally tease your boys in retaliation? Would that be better?

I have come across kids like yours in my son's grade. Their parents think they are the victims when they are really the instigators. Often the same parents, if they are around at all, have the nose in the I-phone and conveinently miss the crappy thing their kid did to irritate their "friends."

+1000!

This. Your kid is going to get their asses kicked. Time for you to step up and parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other mom sounds like a piece of work too. "Oh our kids are doing nothing but raiding their fort" as if that isn't anything. They are deliberately disrupting other children's project and game. Thats not nothing.

Honestly, you are way too involved in this. You are just going at it, narcing on the other mom to her boss, gathering allies with another mother.

OP, you need to not provoke other moms before someone gets revenge. I would end you if it was me. Just saying.