What is Just Compensation for a "Life Lost"?

[Anonymous]

He should pay you alimony for as long as it will take your career to be on the same footing as if you had never left work for him; at least one year for every year you were married. He should pay the entire mortgage for the next three years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should pay you alimony for as long as it will take your career to be on the same footing as if you had never left work for him; at least one year for every year you were married. He should pay the entire mortgage for the next three years.

I really wish women (and men) would read divorce law in their state when they make decisions to marry and decision within their marriage.

How many of you read the laws of marriage and divorce when you were planning your big fancy wedding.

[Anonymous]

OP, you probably shouldn't have gotten married. You seem awfully resentful over having to make sacrifices, which all married people do.

Get a second opinion, but understand that a lawyer might sense your bitterness and exploit it for his/her personal gain to your financial detriment.

Also, the husband would be foolish to just agree to fund all future college expenses, carte blanc. Without any fiscal restraints, your child could simply go to some super expensive private college at full price. Today, this would be $250-300k. By the time your child is college age, this could be a million dollars.

$100k, in an interest-earning account is pretty reasonable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should pay you alimony for as long as it will take your career to be on the same footing as if you had never left work for him; at least one year for every year you were married. He should pay the entire mortgage for the next three years.

I really wish women (and men) would read divorce law in their state when they make decisions to marry and decision within their marriage.

How many of you read the laws of marriage and divorce when you were planning your big fancy wedding.

Wow. What a rather holier-than-thou comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should pay you alimony for as long as it will take your career to be on the same footing as if you had never left work for him; at least one year for every year you were married. He should pay the entire mortgage for the next three years.

This is your opinion. Divorce law differs. It says the cash is split 50/50, and there are very specific conditions for spousal support. In some places (fairfax county), it is a mathematical formula. That formula gives her no support.

Now, if she does not allow him to the the kids, she will lose custody, and will have to pay child support.

[Anonymous]

What if you give up your career after a decade to stay at home, and this enables your spouse/SO to have his career take off and accelerate as you follow him with the kids all over the world for the next fifteen years. At the end of which your spouse/SO is earning many, multi-millions.

No way can a man (or woman) who has not worked in more than fifteen years get a job in their late forties that earns anywhere near $100k, much less the multi-million dollar lifestyle in which they have lived for at least a decade.

In those cases, the stay-at-home spouse often is awarded generous alimony for many, many years.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if OP is the wife of that guy who posts here all the time and recently decided to file for divorce. OP, do you have one 16-year-old daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you give up your career after a decade to stay at home, and this enables your spouse/SO to have his career take off and accelerate as you follow him with the kids all over the world for the next fifteen years. At the end of which your spouse/SO is earning many, multi-millions.

No way can a man (or woman) who has not worked in more than fifteen years get a job in their late forties that earns anywhere near $100k, much less the multi-million dollar lifestyle in which they have lived for at least a decade.

In those cases, the stay-at-home spouse often is awarded generous alimony for many, many years.

This is correct....The difference here is the spouse does not make nothing, she makes 60% of exDH salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should pay you alimony for as long as it will take your career to be on the same footing as if you had never left work for him; at least one year for every year you were married. He should pay the entire mortgage for the next three years.

I really wish women (and men) would read divorce law in their state when they make decisions to marry and decision within their marriage.

How many of you read the laws of marriage and divorce when you were planning your big fancy wedding.

Wow. What a rather holier-than-thou comment.

holier-than-thou???????

Really... you make the biggest decision of your life and you have not clue what the laws are pertaining your rights? that is holier-than-thou?

Do you just sign contracts and trust it will all be fine for anything else? If I told you to read a contract before you sign it would you say I was being holier-than-thou.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you give up your career after a decade to stay at home, and this enables your spouse/SO to have his career take off and accelerate as you follow him with the kids all over the world for the next fifteen years. At the end of which your spouse/SO is earning many, multi-millions.

No way can a man (or woman) who has not worked in more than fifteen years get a job in their late forties that earns anywhere near $100k, much less the multi-million dollar lifestyle in which they have lived for at least a decade.

In those cases, the stay-at-home spouse often is awarded generous alimony for many, many years.

I think it is so bizarre when spouses claim they were the reason their spouse was so successful, like it would never have happened if they did not marry that specific spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you give up your career after a decade to stay at home, and this enables your spouse/SO to have his career take off and accelerate as you follow him with the kids all over the world for the next fifteen years. At the end of which your spouse/SO is earning many, multi-millions.

No way can a man (or woman) who has not worked in more than fifteen years get a job in their late forties that earns anywhere near $100k, much less the multi-million dollar lifestyle in which they have lived for at least a decade.

In those cases, the stay-at-home spouse often is awarded generous alimony for many, many years.

I think it is so bizarre when spouses claim they were the reason their spouse was so successful, like it would never have happened if they did not marry that specific spouse.

Only narcissistic spouses make and believe such claims. That was what my exW used to verbalize - that and also that she was "successful" in spite of me, that I was a loser and she succeeded at everything she did "all by herself." My family and I finally had a really good laugh at that one. especially as she crashed an burned following the divorce, lost her job due to malfeasance at work, lost the house that she bought out from under me and is now working in her mid-40s at temp jobs because no one will hire her. Oh, and I had custody transferred to me. I wouldn't say I don't suffer schandenfreude, but man karma is a bitch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you give up your career after a decade to stay at home, and this enables your spouse/SO to have his career take off and accelerate as you follow him with the kids all over the world for the next fifteen years. At the end of which your spouse/SO is earning many, multi-millions.

No way can a man (or woman) who has not worked in more than fifteen years get a job in their late forties that earns anywhere near $100k, much less the multi-million dollar lifestyle in which they have lived for at least a decade.

In those cases, the stay-at-home spouse often is awarded generous alimony for many, many years.

I think it is so bizarre when spouses claim they were the reason their spouse was so successful, like it would never have happened if they did not marry that specific spouse.

+1

Right. A lot of rock stars and pro athletes owed their success -- NOT to many years of practice, often starting from earlyhood, and their own talents -- but to their ex-wives, who they typically did not meet until longer after they put in the real work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you give up your career after a decade to stay at home, and this enables your spouse/SO to have his career take off and accelerate as you follow him with the kids all over the world for the next fifteen years. At the end of which your spouse/SO is earning many, multi-millions.

No way can a man (or woman) who has not worked in more than fifteen years get a job in their late forties that earns anywhere near $100k, much less the multi-million dollar lifestyle in which they have lived for at least a decade.

In those cases, the stay-at-home spouse often is awarded generous alimony for many, many years.

I think it is so bizarre when spouses claim they were the reason their spouse was so successful, like it would never have happened if they did not marry that specific spouse.

Only narcissistic spouses make and believe such claims. That was what my exW used to verbalize - that and also that she was "successful" in spite of me, that I was a loser and she succeeded at everything she did "all by herself." My family and I finally had a really good laugh at that one. especially as she crashed an burned following the divorce, lost her job due to malfeasance at work, lost the house that she bought out from under me and is now working in her mid-40s at temp jobs because no one will hire her. Oh, and I had custody transferred to me. I wouldn't say I don't suffer schandenfreude, but man karma is a bitch!

I'm sure she blames you for it, too.

[Anonymous]

I would ask for more than 3 years

[Anonymous]

I really do not understand the logic of the people saying to ask for more. Three years is MORE than enough time for the OP to get a stable job. Child support will not evaporate in 3 years time, but I think it is completely reasonable to expect that an educated, employed woman could support herself without a monthly check from her ex-husband.

That maybe means she does not get to stay in the house and has to move somewhere that she can afford on her own.