If you're a non-contributer parent to "school extras"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For God's Sake.

This whole thing is ridiculous:

You PTA-supporters on this thread: just because a family doesn't choose to value exactly what you value in exactly the same way does not mean the family is "raising their children to be takers", doesn't love their children, or anything at all. It most certainly does NOT mean the family doesn't volunteer in other ways - perhaps some you support. Do what is best for your kids and leave it at that.

You PTA-Bashers: I have more sympathy for you since this thread started with a judgmental post that could be rephrased "how come you aren't more like me, since the way I am is the only way to be"? But the debate is getting old. Do what you think is best for your kids and leave it at that.

I am EXTREMELY insulted by the supposition that because I don't do PTA things, I don't care about my community, the children in it, or anything at all.

I may be wrong but I think this thread is more about contributing period as opposed to just PTA. If u are doing things then that is great. However there are parents out there who do not contribute whether it be through time or money. I am not part of PTA but I do volunteer in other ways. I am not offended by this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't do them b/c they are silly and I am trying to get my point across that I'd prefer my daughter's time to be better spent than traipsing around collecting $$ for the school, etc. I think parents should be educational coaches behind the scenes for their children, and not necessarily frantically involved with bake sales, auctions, walk-a-thons, and the like. Read: THE SMARTEST KIDS IN THE WORLD: AND HOW THEY GOT THAT WAY and you'll see there is no correlation b/w academic success and parental involvement in PTA, bake sales, auctions, etc. In fact, these children do slightly less well. The best way to support your child's education is to act as an academic coach behind the scenes. Do read the book; it is extremely interesting.

Agreed! And I haven't read the book but will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You PTA-supporters on this thread: just because a family doesn't choose to value exactly what you value in exactly the same way does not mean the family is "raising their children to be takers", doesn't love their children, or anything at all. It most certainly does NOT mean the family doesn't volunteer in other ways - perhaps some you support. Do what is best for your kids and leave it at that.

+1

And I volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about classroom parties , field trips, assemblies, the intervention teacher, or reading medals. I spends a boatload of money on my kids education AT HOME. I buy Singapore Math, writing programs, science activities, etc. I have paid for my kid to go to Kumon. My kid is a well -behaved kid who is easy to educate because he already has met grade level standards. The PTA president at my school pushed funding an intervention teacher. Perhaps it is a coincidence but her kids all need to go to intervention, and she surely could pay privately for tutoring. My kids attend a school with a really low FARM rate no kid in the school doesn't have opportunities. Why should I send in money for the PTA for a field trip to a pumpkin patch or farm? All the kids have parents who take them. Why do classroom parties? I wish there were more rigorous academics, but since it is public school I don't complain but I am not sending in money.

But your kids get to participate in these parties and in these field trips that you don't help out with though, right?

+1
These parents are modeling to their kids to be takers.

Mean.

True, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about classroom parties , field trips, assemblies, the intervention teacher, or reading medals. I spends a boatload of money on my kids education AT HOME. I buy Singapore Math, writing programs, science activities, etc. I have paid for my kid to go to Kumon. My kid is a well -behaved kid who is easy to educate because he already has met grade level standards. The PTA president at my school pushed funding an intervention teacher. Perhaps it is a coincidence but her kids all need to go to intervention, and she surely could pay privately for tutoring. My kids attend a school with a really low FARM rate no kid in the school doesn't have opportunities. Why should I send in money for the PTA for a field trip to a pumpkin patch or farm? All the kids have parents who take them. Why do classroom parties? I wish there were more rigorous academics, but since it is public school I don't complain but I am not sending in money.

But your kids get to participate in these parties and in these field trips that you don't help out with though, right?

+1
These parents are modeling to their kids to be takers.

Mean.

but true

I disagree -- it's just plain mean. I volunteer for parties whenever I can because I enjoy being in the classroom with my kids but I would never call parents who don't "takers." You are just plain mean.

I agree. Many parents work full time and don't have the time or money to volunteer for field trips or pay for every little thing we are asked to fund. I don't consider them takers.
In my school, there's always enough volunteers for field trips.

Any parent can do something, once or twice a year. There are after-hours volunteer opportunities (set-up, clean-up) and opportunities to do small donations like send cookies or supplies to the classroom (less than $10). There really is no excuse for not doing ANYTHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the academic coach for my kids. In fact, I do believe in not letting their schooling interfere with their education.

I will also do the following for the school -

1) Buy at lots of books at the scholastic book fairs., both for my child and for the homeroom teacher's wish list.

2) I will contribute store bought food or money for teacher's appreciation day/week.

3) I will contribute to class room parties - money, food and a helping hand on the day of the party.

4) I will contribute coats from previous years for the "coats for kids"

5) I will contribute for the "pennies for patients"

6) I will contribute towards cost of two extra studenst for field trips in my child's home room.

7) I will volunteer for chaperoning for my kids field trip.

8) I will pay extra for two student directories printed by the PTA, but I will not become a member of that organization.

9) I will buy school supplies for my kids home room at least twice a year. Hand sanitizers, paper towels, tissue boxes, Lysol spray, pencils, electric pencil sharpeners and paper, ziplock bags. I ask the teacher directly, not the school.

10) I will give gift cards to all the teachers - home room, arts, music, sports etc...once a year. If not Christmas/ Thanksgiving - then in May for teacher appreciation week.



I do not sell stuff, buy stuff from PTA catalogs, or go for the restaurant fund-raisers.

I also do not care to fund raise for new technology for class. If the kids do not know how to read and do math, having a fancy drop down electronic board is moot and unnecessary.

I would rather that the money collected be used for after school clubs, International night, reading and math night, science fair and art competitions, scholastic competitions and field-trips.

I do not approve of the big deals that PTA make for MSA testing - buying goody bags etc.

I would be very happy if there was no PTA, but some kind of Parent Action Committee who asked every parent to contribute a fixed amount at the beginning of the year - and did away with the fund raisers.


I think I am very involved, but I know I am not involved in the way PTA parents are.

I do think that PTA is very cliquey as well.

I love this. In fact I think I emailed with this Mom once re a PTA kerfluffle back in Sept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Any parent can do something, once or twice a year. There are after-hours volunteer opportunities (set-up, clean-up) and opportunities to do small donations like send cookies or supplies to the classroom (less than $10). There really is no excuse for not doing ANYTHING.

You don't know what other parents do; you don't know what other parents can do; you don't get to say what other parents should do.

If you think there's something that needs to be done, then do it. Or sit around and complain about how other people should want what you want and do as you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of the off-putting PTA moms. I don't want to contribute to their private club.

Bingo. Most of them could write larger checks and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school? I think you're conflating a number of things if you're talking about PRIVATE school VS. underfunded urban crumbling school with no playground.

My DCs go to private school and I don't do squat anymore in the bake sale, walk a thon, contribute a cute plant to the butterfly garden - type of project. My kids can, if they want, on their own. I write my check in full and on time.

I will not be bullied into adding silly projects to take up my free time. Like planting annuals that will "attract butterflies."

Damn straight. When you outsource the nurturing of your children, you want it completely outsourced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Damn straight. When you outsource the nurturing of your children, you want it completely outsourced.

You homeschool, I'm sure. And none of that homeschool co-op stuff, either -- or tutors. Or music teachers, or sports coaches. Everything your children learn, they learn from you.

[Anonymous]

Because of this:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/370837.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Any parent can do something, once or twice a year. There are after-hours volunteer opportunities (set-up, clean-up) and opportunities to do small donations like send cookies or supplies to the classroom (less than $10). There really is no excuse for not doing ANYTHING.

You don't know what other parents do; you don't know what other parents can do; you don't get to say what other parents should do.

If you think there's something that needs to be done, then do it. Or sit around and complain about how other people should want what you want and do as you do.

You're right. But we can still call you takers if you don't do anything. Can't change the facts. If this makes you defensive, maybe put some energy into helping out or contributing at your child's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the parents who do all these things for their kids at home and one on one (that's great!) are missing the point that their kids also do a ton of things at school that other people are apparently organizing and paying for out of pocket.

Do you think that's fair? Would you rather your kid be excluded? Or that these things didn't take place at all? (but they do)

I would rather they don't take place at all. I work full time and can't go to parties or field trips. I hate getting an email on Monday night that I am supposed to send in 50 marshmellows or 30 to go containers on Thursday by the room mom who unilaterally has decided we need a Dr. Suess party. Why can't they do a pajama party that doesn't involve food?
If the PTA had specific fundraisers then each parent could contribute toward what they feel was important. Ex. I would send in money for new playground equipment but not field trips.

I totally agree with this and could have written the same thing. I send my child to school to GO TO SCHOOL, not to go to a pumpkin patch (we do this as a family on the weekend) go shopping at "Santa's Christmas Shoppe" (really a PTA Fund raiser, and, really, I can take my child shopping on weekends -- she does not need to LEARN how to shop for goodness sakes). Cut out all these dippy extras and do what school is for: TEACHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Any parent can do something, once or twice a year. There are after-hours volunteer opportunities (set-up, clean-up) and opportunities to do small donations like send cookies or supplies to the classroom (less than $10). There really is no excuse for not doing ANYTHING.

You don't know what other parents do; you don't know what other parents can do; you don't get to say what other parents should do.

If you think there's something that needs to be done, then do it. Or sit around and complain about how other people should want what you want and do as you do.

You're right. But we can still call you takers if you don't do anything. Can't change the facts. If this makes you defensive, maybe put some energy into helping out or contributing at your child's school.

Is this attitude new? My kids are still daycare age and I had no idea this was such an expectation. I don't remember my (working) parents doing all of this volunteering/donating/etc. at my Fairfax county public schools in the 80s and 90s. And I don't remember them feeling guilty about it either. They paid their taxes that funded those schools, they were great parents who cared about our education and read to us and helped us with our homework. Maybe they wrote a membership check to the PTA once a year? But they certainly weren't hanging around our classroom reading to us there or planning teacher breakfasts. Is this expected now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Any parent can do something, once or twice a year. There are after-hours volunteer opportunities (set-up, clean-up) and opportunities to do small donations like send cookies or supplies to the classroom (less than $10). There really is no excuse for not doing ANYTHING.

You don't know what other parents do; you don't know what other parents can do; you don't get to say what other parents should do.

If you think there's something that needs to be done, then do it. Or sit around and complain about how other people should want what you want and do as you do.

You're right. But we can still call you takers if you don't do anything. Can't change the facts. If this makes you defensive, maybe put some energy into helping out or contributing at your child's school.

Maybe if you stopped driving people away with your mean attitude, more people would actually want to contribute. Just a thought.