If you're a non-contributer parent to "school extras"

[Anonymous]

We have been at our school for a decade and a half, and I peaked early - had every job on the PTA, ran the major school fundraiser multiple times, was sports commissioner for years and years. Many of the great programs the families enjoy now (and take for granted, because they were already established when they joined this school community) were started by the parents of my generation. We are tired. Many of us now have kids in grade school and college. We have done our bit and then some over a very long period of time, and are happy to let the young go-getters do it now. They have great ideas, great energy, and they will be in the school for years to come. We donate money, we help where we can, but we are not taking on any more big projects. It's not safe to assume people aren't contributing just because YOU don't see them doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care who contributes or helps out, but I am glad many of the joyless automatons in this thread aren't the ones running the school or the PTA or volunteering.

A 45 minute party every 6 weeks (on average) is not going to cause an overload of homework and a dent in education. This is such a slippery slope fallacy it is unbelievable.

What these events do do is give these kids a much needed mental break. School should not be a gulag for young ones, sorry.Most of the kids I know look forward to 100 day or Dr Seuss week or the holiday party or Colonial Day so that they can get a break from routine and try different activities.

They need this break, and frankly, given the high stakes track of education these days, they deserve it.

Yes, they enjoy it. They're kids. School is for them. This thread is about adults and the way some of them can ruin participating in these events for other adults (to put a spin on OP's version).

[Anonymous]

I volunteer weekly at the school, go on field trips, donate to the armchair fundraisers, advocate for our schools (attend county meetings/write letters) and take my kids to some of the PTA school events. I am not part of the PTA though. I'm not much of a joiner and feel uncomfortable around the PTA moms. I do get a little embarrassed because I worry they think I'm a slacker but I also know I am helping my kids teachers and that is what is really important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the off-putting PTA moms. I don't want to contribute to their private club.

Well put. And after 15 years of this nonsense in private school while paying full-freight, I am just exhausted and no longer interested in the auction, the cookie sale, anything. Just please charge me $400 more at the beginning of the year. I can't work a full time job while dealing with all the incoming school emails re: fundraisers and activities. It's just too much.

So agree. I've been in a number of schools, both public and private, and the PTAs moms are really the problem. They are the ex-lawyers, ex-professionals, ex-wives looking for a way to boost their own ego. No matter what the event is - auction, back-to-school night, xmas wrap, halloween party, teacher appreciation lunches, auction solicitations, auction dinner, library donations, library sales, bake sales, car washes, teacher gifts - the end result is some cat fight between two women over some issue because it is a silly power play. The ego issues drive the PTA and I've witnessed so much catty, bitchy, gossipy behavior that I just don't want any part of it anymore - signed mom of 3, public and private, former everything in the PTA.

[Anonymous]

"Your response is interesting. I don't think this thread is about dedicating all kind of time to the school, but mainly just to take an interest in your child's education. I am not the OP, but I took it as even contributin a 4 to 8 hours max for the whole school year. I am making the assumption that other parents would be doing their part as well. I don't think that taking 8 hours of your work time off in the span of 10 months is going to make or break your job situation. If that was the case, why would jobs give us weeks of vacation time. If it is the case, then you need to find another job that stands behind the vacation time it offers as a benefit to its employees. I know at my workplace, they encourage vacation time as a security measure."

Do you have any clue how elitist you sound?

I didn't take the PP's posting as elitist. Makes sense to me. This forum is all about taking things to the extreme....all or nothing...haha."

Are you kidding me? Do you actually not see that it is elitist to assume that everyone gets paid vacation time? And elitist to assume that, among those who do get paid vacation, they get enough to allocate some of that time to volunteering at school? Most parents in this country have to save up their days off so they don't have to lose pay when they must stay home home with sick kids or on snow days, or take themselves and their kids to the doctor and dentist, or deal with other household or family responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the academic coach for my kids. In fact, I do believe in not letting their schooling interfere with their education.

I will also do the following for the school -

1) Buy at lots of books at the scholastic book fairs., both for my child and for the homeroom teacher's wish list.

2) I will contribute store bought food or money for teacher's appreciation day/week.

3) I will contribute to class room parties - money, food and a helping hand on the day of the party.

4) I will contribute coats from previous years for the "coats for kids"

5) I will contribute for the "pennies for patients"

6) I will contribute towards cost of two extra studenst for field trips in my child's home room.

7) I will volunteer for chaperoning for my kids field trip.

8) I will pay extra for two student directories printed by the PTA, but I will not become a member of that organization.

9) I will buy school supplies for my kids home room at least twice a year. Hand sanitizers, paper towels, tissue boxes, Lysol spray, pencils, electric pencil sharpeners and paper, ziplock bags. I ask the teacher directly, not the school.

10) I will give gift cards to all the teachers - home room, arts, music, sports etc...once a year. If not Christmas/ Thanksgiving - then in May for teacher appreciation week.



I do not sell stuff, buy stuff from PTA catalogs, or go for the restaurant fund-raisers.

I also do not care to fund raise for new technology for class. If the kids do not know how to read and do math, having a fancy drop down electronic board is moot and unnecessary.

I would rather that the money collected be used for after school clubs, International night, reading and math night, science fair and art competitions, scholastic competitions and field-trips.

I do not approve of the big deals that PTA make for MSA testing - buying goody bags etc.

I would be very happy if there was no PTA, but some kind of Parent Action Committee who asked every parent to contribute a fixed amount at the beginning of the year - and did away with the fund raisers.


I think I am very involved, but I know I am not involved in the way PTA parents are.

I do think that PTA is very cliquey as well.

For our school, the few members of a a core clique pretty much prevent others from participating in much of the planning. The only time they attempt to get extra-clique-cular volunteer help is when they have undesirable tasks that have to be filled at the last minute.

I do appreciate the hard-working majority of our PTA officers, but it has only taken a handful of personalities to really ruin the reputation of the group.

[Anonymous]

"For our school, the few members of a a core clique pretty much prevent others from participating in much of the planning. The only time they attempt to get extra-clique-cular volunteer help is when they have undesirable tasks that have to be filled at the last minute."

+1. Janney PTA, anyone?

[Anonymous]

I feel like the private elementary school my kid attends does (and should) charge sufficient tuition to cover the school's needs. I don't think my kid "needs" extras like electronic equipment or fancy field trips. The parents can and should provide those activities to kids on weekend/after school. Therefore, I don't want to pay extra for extra stuff.

I also consistently vote for politicians that promise more funding and better accountability for public education. I don't grumble about paying taxes to support public education. I believe that all public schools should be publicly funded through taxes and parents shouldn't have to do fundraisers for essential teaching materials, groundskeeping, etc.