Ex doesn't want me to date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are full of excuses. You do not want to do the hard work, which is standing up for yourself and telling this bully to pound sand.

I grew up with a mother like you. It is so frustrating to watch. My father was an abusive bully to my mom and I have had zero issues throwing him out of my life. A strong woman would never tolerate this shit.

Something tells me you take more money and assistance from this man than he is legally obligated to give you. He with the gold rules.

I suspect the same. My guess is they have Apple products and he is getting into her messages using Icloud or something. He is probably willingly paying the phone bills for this access. If I were a man dating OP, I'd run for the hills after discovering that she still has him paying personal bills for her (the need for communication is BS as cell phones are a dime a dozen).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you guys are acting like you're still married. Sharing a family cell phone plan? You're NOT a family anymore. Get your own plan. Change the password on your email and don't tell him what your new password is.

How you handled money should have changed when you divorced. If he feels that acting like you're divorced when you're divorced means you're hiding something, that's too bad. As for "hell to pay", you need to stand up for yourself and stop letting this man control and abuse you.

OP is still not over him. I thought otherwise until this family plan BS. You all are not a family anymore.

It's cheaper. It was a lot cheaper years ago. He pays the bill for all 3 of our bills in lieu of his full half of childcare costs. I don't understand why it's so unbelievable. I'll have to pay the early termination fee to switch it over. That's a few hundred dollars that I'd rather not spend on nothing. The tracfone makes more financial sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are full of excuses. You do not want to do the hard work, which is standing up for yourself and telling this bully to pound sand.

I grew up with a mother like you. It is so frustrating to watch. My father was an abusive bully to my mom and I have had zero issues throwing him out of my life. A strong woman would never tolerate this shit.

Something tells me you take more money and assistance from this man than he is legally obligated to give you. He with the gold rules.

I suspect the same. My guess is they have Apple products and he is getting into her messages using Icloud or something. He is probably willingly paying the phone bills for this access. If I were a man dating OP, I'd run for the hills after discovering that she still has him paying personal bills for her (the need for communication is BS as cell phones are a dime a dozen).

You're welcome to suspect whatever crazy idea strikes you. That doesn't make it true. And, it isn't necessary to share an apple account when you have a shared cell account. We all have our own apple accounts.

[Anonymous]

OP I think you're nuts. I date and I don't talk to the guy with my kids around. I don't have him over when they are around. I keep my dating life separate from my kid.

If I meet a guy I think I want to marry, then and then only will my kids be introduced to him.

Get a new email address. Live without FB or start a new profile with only YOUR closest friends. No need to post dating outings to FB. Get your own cell phone. And document all of his behaviors. Keep a journal. Don't get in trouble for "fornicating" with your kid in the house, have sex elsewhere.

Really I can't believe this is difficult unless he is stalking you. You are creating unnecessary drama by dropping hints.

[Anonymous]

PP again, also, as far as "not talking" to him - you can be civil and say hello and leave it at that. He doesn't need your life story. Yes bring a friend. Also bring a camcorder or cell phone with video so that if he acts up you can videotape it.

As far as making your life difficult, the courts don't like to be used as a weapon this way. If you can document his controlling behavior, the judge won't be happy with him. Also, tell them about the email break in.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Your email and your cell phone bill?

10 years into a divorce?

This is nuts. You two are not emotionally divorced. That's your task. Finish the divorce.

[Anonymous]

OP--when you choose to remain this enmeshed with your ex and then claim that it would be too hard to spend a few extra hundred dollars to set up your own phone/email accounts, you forfeit the right to complain about your ex prying into your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP--when you choose to remain this enmeshed with your ex and then claim that it would be too hard to spend a few extra hundred dollars to set up your own phone/email accounts, you forfeit the right to complain about your ex prying into your business.

It's a lot of money to me. A less expensive option is the tracfone until my contract is up.

Why would you think we share email accounts? We don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--when you choose to remain this enmeshed with your ex and then claim that it would be too hard to spend a few extra hundred dollars to set up your own phone/email accounts, you forfeit the right to complain about your ex prying into your business.

It's a lot of money to me. A less expensive option is the tracfone until my contract is up.

Why would you think we share email accounts? We don't.

Then how did he get access to your email?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--when you choose to remain this enmeshed with your ex and then claim that it would be too hard to spend a few extra hundred dollars to set up your own phone/email accounts, you forfeit the right to complain about your ex prying into your business.

It's a lot of money to me. A less expensive option is the tracfone until my contract is up.

Why would you think we share email accounts? We don't.

Well he must not be causing you that much distress. A few hundred bucks towards makinh healthy steps is nothing.

You are full of excuses. I think you like the drama. You are wallowing in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you're nuts. I date and I don't talk to the guy with my kids around. I don't have him over when they are around. I keep my dating life separate from my kid.

If I meet a guy I think I want to marry, then and then only will my kids be introduced to him.

Get a new email address. Live without FB or start a new profile with only YOUR closest friends. No need to post dating outings to FB. Get your own cell phone. And document all of his behaviors. Keep a journal. Don't get in trouble for "fornicating" with your kid in the house, have sex elsewhere.

Really I can't believe this is difficult unless he is stalking you. You are creating unnecessary drama by dropping hints.

Have you read the thread?

He met my child almost 10 years ago. I'm not discussing my dating life with my child. He doesn't come to my house. No need to worry about where I have sex. I don't post personal details on Facebook.

What does "dropping hints" mean? Why do I need a new email address?

[Anonymous]

Well if your ex doesn't have your email password, then he's hacked into your email address. hence the need for a new email address.

You're discussing it with someone if he's getting details about your boyfriend and using it against you.

OP, it is obvious this guy is controlling and abusive. But you're full of excuses of why you can't do this or that and everything. Get some therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--when you choose to remain this enmeshed with your ex and then claim that it would be too hard to spend a few extra hundred dollars to set up your own phone/email accounts, you forfeit the right to complain about your ex prying into your business.

It's a lot of money to me. A less expensive option is the tracfone until my contract is up.

Why would you think we share email accounts? We don't.

Well he must not be causing you that much distress. A few hundred bucks towards makinh healthy steps is nothing.

You are full of excuses. I think you like the drama. You are wallowing in it.

That's almost half of my weekly pay. This has been discussed already. There's a solution to it. You're the one wallowing here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well if your ex doesn't have your email password, then he's hacked into your email address. hence the need for a new email address.

You're discussing it with someone if he's getting details about your boyfriend and using it against you.

OP, it is obvious this guy is controlling and abusive. But you're full of excuses of why you can't do this or that and everything. Get some therapy.

He doesn't know about the boyfriend. Why are you making shit up?

You guys can continue to make up whatever suits you and give me bullshit advice. That's so helpful!!

[Anonymous]

Wait, if he doesn't know about the boyfriend, then what the hell was the whole point of this post?