Bringing partners to prenatal visits

[Anonymous]

Most visits are pee in a cup, say hello and check the heartbeat. I always tell him not to bother. Doing the grocery, laundry anything else during that time helps me much more. Hey, if I could, I would skip these visits too.

Now for the sonogram ones: NT screen, anthropomorphological sono, .... of course he wants to be there and I want him there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the whole "we're pregnant" thing is obnoxious. No you are not both pregnant!!!!! And any man or woman who says this is ridiculous!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I've offhandedly used this phrase before...I didn't know until I started reading DCUM that other people are practically shitting themselves with indignation about it! Do you get this upset when a couple says "We're having a baby"?

I don't get upset about either, but I also think "We're pregnant" is funny and a bit annoying if said by a guy. "We are having a baby" is completely different and accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the whole "we're pregnant" thing is obnoxious. No you are not both pregnant!!!!! And any man or woman who says this is ridiculous!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I've offhandedly used this phrase before...I didn't know until I started reading DCUM that other people are practically shitting themselves with indignation about it! Do you get this upset when a couple says "We're having a baby"?

We're having a baby isn't bad. But we're pregnant not only sounds stupi, it is inaccurate and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Mine always had to work.

I'm actually kind of surprised (in a good way) that so many husbands were able to come to all the appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the whole "we're pregnant" thing is obnoxious. No you are not both pregnant!!!!! And any man or woman who says this is ridiculous!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I've offhandedly used this phrase before...I didn't know until I started reading DCUM that other people are practically shitting themselves with indignation about it! Do you get this upset when a couple says "We're having a baby"?

We're having a baby isn't bad. But we're pregnant not only sounds stupi, it is inaccurate and annoying.

Yeah. Since I am the one suffering through the pregnancy, I would be pissed if my DH said "we" are pregnant. No dear, I am pregnant, and you are sitting on the sidelines feeling sorry for the nausea, but not actually experiencing it. I would switch roles in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound and that was it. I think it's weird to have your husband come to all of the appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound and that was it. I think it's weird to have your husband come to all of the appointments.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound and that was it. I think it's weird to have your husband come to all of the appointments.

I disagree. I am a FTM and I want my husband coming to every appointment. Otherwise it will make me feel very alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound and that was it. I think it's weird to have your husband come to all of the appointments.

I agree.

Oh who cares. You women are just as bad as the women who "think less of" husbands who don't come. What is it to you what anyone else does? How awful that you feel the need to call others "weird" for doing what works best for them.

I personally didn't need DH at all the appointments by any means but he wanted to come. I admit I felt a bit strange about it at first but it's his baby. He wanted to know everything about it. He was super interested in the process, read up on things, ordered books, and while no, "we" were not "pregnant" he was a partner in the process. Many of you are dismissing the well pregnancy visits as peeing in a cup and blood pressure but for us they were a chance to ask questions, hear the heartbeat and be assured that everything was okay.

Pregnancy can be something men feel left out of. They donate the sperm and then woman does the rest. So why not open up this part of it to him, if he's interested? While I sometimes felt awkward having my husband there for these things, the payoff was pretty great. He was committed and a genuine coparent from day one. Of course one doesn't need to attend prenatal visits to get to that point, but in our case, I didn't want to discourage his enthusiasm.

Those of you who think it's weird can shove off - I suspect you're not very nice people anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound and that was it. I think it's weird to have your husband come to all of the appointments.

I agree.

Oh who cares. You women are just as bad as the women who "think less of" husbands who don't come. What is it to you what anyone else does? How awful that you feel the need to call others "weird" for doing what works best for them.

I personally didn't need DH at all the appointments by any means but he wanted to come. I admit I felt a bit strange about it at first but it's his baby. He wanted to know everything about it. He was super interested in the process, read up on things, ordered books, and while no, "we" were not "pregnant" he was a partner in the process. Many of you are dismissing the well pregnancy visits as peeing in a cup and blood pressure but for us they were a chance to ask questions, hear the heartbeat and be assured that everything was okay.

Pregnancy can be something men feel left out of. They donate the sperm and then woman does the rest. So why not open up this part of it to him, if he's interested? While I sometimes felt awkward having my husband there for these things, the payoff was pretty great. He was committed and a genuine coparent from day one. Of course one doesn't need to attend prenatal visits to get to that point, but in our case, I didn't want to discourage his enthusiasm.

Those of you who think it's weird can shove off - I suspect you're not very nice people anyway.

+1 Well Said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound and that was it. I think it's weird to have your husband come to all of the appointments.

I agree.

Oh who cares. You women are just as bad as the women who "think less of" husbands who don't come. What is it to you what anyone else does? How awful that you feel the need to call others "weird" for doing what works best for them.

I personally didn't need DH at all the appointments by any means but he wanted to come. I admit I felt a bit strange about it at first but it's his baby. He wanted to know everything about it. He was super interested in the process, read up on things, ordered books, and while no, "we" were not "pregnant" he was a partner in the process. Many of you are dismissing the well pregnancy visits as peeing in a cup and blood pressure but for us they were a chance to ask questions, hear the heartbeat and be assured that everything was okay.

Pregnancy can be something men feel left out of. They donate the sperm and then woman does the rest. So why not open up this part of it to him, if he's interested? While I sometimes felt awkward having my husband there for these things, the payoff was pretty great. He was committed and a genuine coparent from day one. Of course one doesn't need to attend prenatal visits to get to that point, but in our case, I didn't want to discourage his enthusiasm.

Those of you who think it's weird can shove off - I suspect you're not very nice people anyway.

Yes but you sound like the type of person who judges others who don't share your sentiments about this. Some of our husband's have more demanding jobs where they can't go to every appointment. Thank goodness that's the case with mine - I wouldn't want him there when I am just peeing in a cup. I can also relay information to him just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the whole "we're pregnant" thing is obnoxious. No you are not both pregnant!!!!! And any man or woman who says this is ridiculous!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I've offhandedly used this phrase before...I didn't know until I started reading DCUM that other people are practically shitting themselves with indignation about it! Do you get this upset when a couple says "We're having a baby"?

We're having a baby isn't bad. But we're pregnant not only sounds stupi, it is inaccurate and annoying.

Yeah. Since I am the one suffering through the pregnancy, I would be pissed if my DH said "we" are pregnant. No dear, I am pregnant, and you are sitting on the sidelines feeling sorry for the nausea, but not actually experiencing it. I would switch roles in a heartbeat.

Doesn't bother me this much. I am a lot more to put up with than I was pre-preg and am putting him through a lot emotionally. Might want to keep that in mind before you bitch at your husband about how much more you are going through than him.

[Anonymous]

Wow! I'm surprised how many women don't see this as a "partner" thing. I'm the one with the baby in my belly and all the symptoms, but it's still affecting his life, too.

My DH has been very excited about all 3 pregnancies (and the 4th -- actually 1st -- that didn't stick), and has come to every appointment he could manage. In fact, for the last 2 pregnancies, I opted to stay at the hospital where he works rather than look around for a more "friendly" practice just because it made it easier for him to be at appointments without having to take time off.

[Anonymous]

We are first time parents-to-be, and my husband has come to most but not all appointments. He's missed a few of the 15-minute pee-in-a-cup variety due to work schedule conflicts. No, not much happens at those, but it's a chance for him to hear the information being given by our midwives first-hand, to ask any questions he may have, and to hear the heartbeat. I enjoy having him with me and he enjoys being there. It's not a big deal if he misses a few either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because "we" weren't pregnant, I was. He also doesn't accompany me to the dentist, hairdresser, or podiatrist. Independent, modern, professional women should not need to be accompanied to OB appointments by significant other.

Wow. It's his baby too, he should be allowed to learn about its development in the womb. Obviously he doesn't give a shit about your teeth, hair, or feet, but it's HIS baby, too. You're not going to be married very long with this attitude.

What do you consider long, 25th anniversary in 2014. O