Bringing partners to prenatal visits

[Anonymous]

My husband comes when he can make it. If he's got something important going on at work, or if he's the only one who can watch our other kids while I go, then he's not coming along. Also, he tries to make it for the important ones, not the 10 minute-pee-in-a-cup-blood-pressure-reading-heartbeat hearing kind. He's not really into the pregnancy, but he is a very involved father & loves our children very much.

[Anonymous]

He came only to the 12 week scan and the 20 week scan. I was fine with him not going to the other ones.

[Anonymous]

Dh came a lot in the beginning and now comes when he can because his work schedule is crazy. I think it is helpful if they can go to these appointments so they cam understand what is going on. I love DH but he is not exactly reading want of the books and at the same time he learns a lot by going to the appointments and the birth classes.

[Anonymous]

Mine came for the US appointments and appointments when I thought something was wrong. He doesn't take off work for the 5 minute heart beat, pee in a cup appointments.

[Anonymous]

I really don't mean to be a downer, but if he is only interested in coming occasionally, I'd suggest he go to the ones where important tests/ultrasounds are being done. For my second pregnancy my husband wasn't going to come to the NT ultrasound but he had a last minute change in schedule so he came. We got very bad news. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there.

[Anonymous]

I would say he should come to the first one if you're with the gw midwives. That's an appointment with a ton of onfo, and its good to have a second pair of ears and make sure he's onboard.

[Anonymous]

My DH is very into the pregnancy, reads lots of books about it, etc, but he will go only to the important appts -- 20 and 36 weeks. (Midwife said he should definitely come to these.) Otherwise, it's enough that one of us has to miss so much work. The dr's office is not convenient for him at all and it's harder for him to get away, and I don't feel that I need him there. He writes out a list of questions beforehand and I ask them, then relay the response. If I wanted him there, he would happily go, but so far I haven't felt the need. It doesn't mean he is not involved.

[Anonymous]

I've been pregnant twice and DH (who doesn't have a flexible schedule) has come to (1) the first appointment for #1; (2) CVS appointment for both; (3) anatomy scan for both; and (4) very late appointments for both (39+ weeks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to the ultrasound ones, which I thought were more special than just the regular 15 minute check-ups. I didn't really see a need to drag him away from work for what is essentially just a blood pressure check and urine test.

This.

[Anonymous]

My husband has only come to the few with ultrasounds. We decided together that we'd rather him use his leave from work when baby has arrived rather than beforehand. I think its a personal decision and doesn't indicate anything about how good of a dad he will be!

[Anonymous]

Husband did almost all appointments for our first, the big ones (nt scan, 20 week, maybe one or two others) for our second, and seems likely to go to even fewer for this one.

[Anonymous]

No, because "we" weren't pregnant, I was. He also doesn't accompany me to the dentist, hairdresser, or podiatrist. Independent, modern, professional women should not need to be accompanied to OB appointments by significant other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because "we" weren't pregnant, I was. He also doesn't accompany me to the dentist, hairdresser, or podiatrist. Independent, modern, professional women should not need to be accompanied to OB appointments by significant other.

Wow, you're awesome.

[Anonymous]

Dad here: If you're a FTM, you have to remember that for many of us, walking into an OB/GYN is like walking into a women's bath room or a debate on feminin hygene products. It's just not a place we feel comfortable going. Indeed, up until this point in life, we've essentially pretended those places don't exist. I will never forget when the early 20s-year-old tech took us in the back room and gave us a spiel on where my DW was in process, starting with a refresher on the birds and the bees. I also remember sitting in the waiting room with all the pamphlets about feminin whatnots. Awkward.

So my advice is to drag his a$$ in there for the first one so he can get the hell over it.

[Anonymous]

my husband came to every appointment (maybe missed one because of business travel) but he loved it and was very involved.