Bringing partners to prenatal visits

[Anonymous]

And that was to the PP who said husbands should always go, not the one directly quoted at end above. Not calling out 9:56!

[Anonymous]

He came to the 8 week scan, the NT and the 20 week with our first. We went for genetic counseling together for our second but that's the only appointment he made it to. He didn't go to any with this pregnancy, he didn't even come for my CVS and I'm OK with that. He isn't really interested in going, I don't really need him there and he is a SAHD so we would have to get childcare etc for him to go. He is also nervous in doctor's offices which just annoys me.
I don't see a need for him to be there unless there is some sort of issue. Just because he doesn't trek over to the doctors office doesn't mean he doesn't care. He just wants to know that the baby healthy and I'm doing OK. I always wonder why people drag their SOs to routine "hear the heartbeat, pee in a cup appointments". At this stage, I don't even want to go.

[Anonymous]

My husband has been to almost all of them. He didn't come to the one where I had to wait an hour after drinking the GD drink because I told him I thought it would be a waste of his time, and after he met all the doctors and the appointments have become the quick 15 minute ones, he's skipped a couple. Now that we're nearing my due date and have more questions (may have to schedule a C-section), he's back to coming to every appointment.

[Anonymous]

My husband came to all with #1. He worked nearby in the city and it was easy for him. His mother was also sick at the time and he would often record the HB on his phone and send it to her. For #2, he has a different job further away and he's only come to the "big" appts. The 12 week scan, 20 week scan, and he'll likely go to anything 40 weeks+.

For the routine appointments, there really is no reason for a husband to go unless he really wants to, in which case great! Nice to have the company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because "we" weren't pregnant, I was. He also doesn't accompany me to the dentist, hairdresser, or podiatrist. Independent, modern, professional women should not need to be accompanied to OB appointments by significant other.

Wow. It's his baby too, he should be allowed to learn about its development in the womb. Obviously he doesn't give a shit about your teeth, hair, or feet, but it's HIS baby, too. You're not going to be married very long with this attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing I really don't get is when I see couples together in the waiting room, but when the woman's name is called...only she goes back to see the doctor. Why have your husband come at all if you're just making him sit in the waiting room during the appointment?

At my OB, I get called back for weight and blood pressure, and then come get my husband when they put me in a room. Perhaps this is what you're seeing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to all of them. We'll see how that works for number 2!

I know a lot of husbands who could have attended, but didn't. I always think less of them.

What?? Are you serious? I have no interest in my husband attending my doctor's appointments. I think less of *you* for dragging him along to them.

Wow. So you see nothing different between prenatal appointments and having your teeth cleaned.

Not the PP you quoted, but come on. Original PP's comment - the bolded part - is pretty obnoxious. You think less of me because I can manage to have my blood pressure checked without my husband present?

To be fair, she said she thinks less of the men who don't go, not the women who go alone.

Well, you got me there...I noticed that I phrased it wrong after I posted my comment. But I still say it's obnoxious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing I really don't get is when I see couples together in the waiting room, but when the woman's name is called...only she goes back to see the doctor. Why have your husband come at all if you're just making him sit in the waiting room during the appointment?

At my OB, I get called back for weight and blood pressure, and then come get my husband when they put me in a room. Perhaps this is what you're seeing?

No, at the office where I see these couples, we do the weight en route to the exam room, where everything else then gets done. Sometimes I've been out in the waiting room with these guys until their wife comes out again, and they leave...so there's definitely some guys who are just there to sit around and wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to all of them. We'll see how that works for number 2!

I know a lot of husbands who could have attended, but didn't. I always think less of them.

What?? Are you serious? I have no interest in my husband attending my doctor's appointments. I think less of *you* for dragging him along to them.

Wow. So you see nothing different between prenatal appointments and having your teeth cleaned.

But this is kind of a silly sentiment because you don't know the situation. In my case, I'm not dragging my husband anywhere, he WANTS to come to the appointments. He's asked to come to them, and I've been the one to say "no need to come tomorrow, it's going to be a quick appointment, you've already met this doctor, and we don't have any questions anyway". I have a husband who is not grossed out by medical stuff and is actually interested in how the pregnancy is going, I have no idea why anyone would think negatively of that, I think it's awesome.

[Anonymous]

This thread has convinced me that people really can fight about anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing I really don't get is when I see couples together in the waiting room, but when the woman's name is called...only she goes back to see the doctor. Why have your husband come at all if you're just making him sit in the waiting room during the appointment?

At my OB, I get called back for weight and blood pressure, and then come get my husband when they put me in a room. Perhaps this is what you're seeing?

No, at the office where I see these couples, we do the weight en route to the exam room, where everything else then gets done. Sometimes I've been out in the waiting room with these guys until their wife comes out again, and they leave...so there's definitely some guys who are just there to sit around and wait.

Oh yeah, well that seems odd to me, too. If you're going to make the effort to come to the doctor's office, you might as well go in and find out what's going on!

[Anonymous]

I see this conversation has devolved, but I'll drop my two cents anyway. My OB's office performs ultrasounds at every visit (I'm AMA, but I think it's their policy. Flame away). For my first pregnancy, my husband attended nearly every appointment, and he got a great deal out of it, including real bonding with the (visible) baby, questions answered, and he enjoyed the relationship he developed with my doctor.
Pregnancies 2 and 3 were both miscarriages, and I was so grateful he was there for the first appointment with each so we could help each other with the disappointment.
Pregnancy #4 is now at 36 weeks, and he has come to many/most visits. His work schedule is much busier than the first time around, but I always arrange for the first appointment of the day (8am) so he'll be able to come if he can.
I am an educated professional with my own busy career, but we try to support each other however possible, and we consider this baby to be our shared, equal responsibility. I love him more for his support and for being so excited about being a dad.

All of that said, I wouldn't ask him to come for routine blood work or to watch me pee in a cup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to all of them. We'll see how that works for number 2!

I know a lot of husbands who could have attended, but didn't. I always think less of them.

What?? Are you serious? I have no interest in my husband attending my doctor's appointments. I think less of *you* for dragging him along to them.

Wow. So you see nothing different between prenatal appointments and having your teeth cleaned.

Not the PP you quoted, but come on. Original PP's comment - the bolded part - is pretty obnoxious. You think less of me because I can manage to have my blood pressure checked without my husband present?

To be fair, she said she thinks less of the men who don't go, not the women who go alone.

How is this any less obnoxious? I'm the "What??" poster from above, and frankly, your husband showing up for your monthly urine sample doesn't make him some great guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to all of them. We'll see how that works for number 2!

I know a lot of husbands who could have attended, but didn't. I always think less of them.

What?? Are you serious? I have no interest in my husband attending my doctor's appointments. I think less of *you* for dragging him along to them.

Wow. So you see nothing different between prenatal appointments and having your teeth cleaned.

But this is kind of a silly sentiment because you don't know the situation. In my case, I'm not dragging my husband anywhere, he WANTS to come to the appointments. He's asked to come to them, and I've been the one to say "no need to come tomorrow, it's going to be a quick appointment, you've already met this doctor, and we don't have any questions anyway". I have a husband who is not grossed out by medical stuff and is actually interested in how the pregnancy is going, I have no idea why anyone would think negatively of that, I think it's awesome.

Well, you're not really the poster I was responding to. The poster I was responding to had the audacity to suggest that men who didn't attend OB appointments are somehow less worthy than husbands that do, which is, at best, laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has convinced me that people really can fight about anything.

This