Bringing partners to prenatal visits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this any less obnoxious? I'm the "What??" poster from above, and frankly, your husband showing up for your monthly urine sample doesn't make him some great guy.

Check the meaning of "To be fair." Also, I don't think anyone has suggested husbands need to go sit in a room while their wives pee in cups. So that's really a red herring.

[Anonymous]

To the posters who keep referring to the OB appointment as just urine samples and blood pressure tests, do you not get to hear the baby's heartbeat at each visit?

That was why my husband always wanted to attend appointments. He loved getting to hear that healthy heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this any less obnoxious? I'm the "What??" poster from above, and frankly, your husband showing up for your monthly urine sample doesn't make him some great guy.

Check the meaning of "To be fair." Also, I don't think anyone has suggested husbands need to go sit in a room while their wives pee in cups. So that's really a red herring.

Oh my god. This is really ridiculous. Some obnoxious woman made a comment that she thinks "less" of men who don't accompany their wives to appointments, and I responded to that. I don't really care what you think. Or what she thinks, actually. She is a jerk. You are defending a jerk. I'm done with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad here: If you're a FTM, you have to remember that for many of us, walking into an OB/GYN is like walking into a women's bath room or a debate on feminin hygene products. It's just not a place we feel comfortable going. Indeed, up until this point in life, we've essentially pretended those places don't exist. I will never forget when the early 20s-year-old tech took us in the back room and gave us a spiel on where my DW was in process, starting with a refresher on the birds and the bees. I also remember sitting in the waiting room with all the pamphlets about feminin whatnots. Awkward.

So my advice is to drag his a$$ in there for the first one so he can get the hell over it.

I'd like to add that with my first, I had to have a thing removed from my cervix and my DH was there for that. It wasn't cancer. Thank God, but I do remember that it was quite a procedure, there was lot of stuff in my girly parts and it was fine.

Mine comes to most if he can make it with #2. He can WFH and likes them. Likes heart beats, ect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has convinced me that people really can fight about anything.

I was a bit surprised at how passionate some people are about this.

I don't care what your partners do. I mildly care about what mine does with #2 but I"ll admit, with #1, I wanted him there. I was afraid something was going to go wrong up and until that baby got his APGAR score of 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has convinced me that people really can fight about anything.

Them's fightin' words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has convinced me that people really can fight about anything.

I was a bit surprised at how passionate some people are about this.

I don't care what your partners do. I mildly care about what mine does with #2 but I"ll admit, with #1, I wanted him there. I was afraid something was going to go wrong up and until that baby got his APGAR score of 9.

I think people get passionate when someone insinuates that their husband is not going to be a good father, or is less involved or less caring, because he only comes to OB appointments once in a while instead of to every single one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has convinced me that people really can fight about anything.

I was a bit surprised at how passionate some people are about this.

I don't care what your partners do. I mildly care about what mine does with #2 but I"ll admit, with #1, I wanted him there. I was afraid something was going to go wrong up and until that baby got his APGAR score of 9.

I think people get passionate when a total stranger on the internet insinuates that their husband is not going to be a good father, or is less involved or less caring, because he only comes to OB appointments once in a while instead of to every single one.

there, I fixed it for you

[Anonymous]

To the OP, whether your husband does/doesn't go to future appointments, I'll echo a poster above that going to the first ultrasound appointment to verify a fetal pole and/or beating heart can be really important. I'd have hated to be alone when we found neither of those things for one pregnancy, and it was really fun to share when we did find them for another pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Lol mine might flip out if I say he need not come to an appointment. For the first pregnancy, he was there for every visit and it wasn't looking good right from the start. I was thankful to him and we cried together in the car after every appointment.

For second, he came to every single appt. All went well and we had a healthy baby.

For my third pregnancy now, he still comes to every appointment. We try to make early morning or one of the last for the day appointments so that we don't miss much work. Although we are grown ass adults, after each appointment we are always sitting in the car giggling like teenagers.

We just feel it is a happy moment for us to share. Do what you two want.

[Anonymous]

My husband comes for the really big ones. That's it. He is a physician so he is unable to take off too much time which I totally understand. I don't think he is any less involved b/c he doesnt come to hear every heartbeat. You do what you can do.

I'm also a more independent person and don't take it to heart if he's not there. I don't think twice about it really.

[Anonymous]

My husband came to all appointments the first time around. This time he's not coming to routine appointments, but has/ will come to ultrasound appointments, and probably some of the end ones. Whenever I go to the office probably about half the people there have a partner with them (who knows if the ones who don't are pregnant or there for other issues, but it seems pretty split)

[Anonymous]

Yeah the whole "we're pregnant" thing is obnoxious. No you are not both pregnant!!!!! And any man or woman who says this is ridiculous!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the whole "we're pregnant" thing is obnoxious. No you are not both pregnant!!!!! And any man or woman who says this is ridiculous!!!!!

I agree with that one. It was definitely me who was pregnant with our twins.

My husband came to the ultrasound appointments, of which I had even more than OB appointments, due to having a high risk pregnancy. He also joined me for some of the regular OB appointments, when they were back to back with the MFM appointments, because the doctors' offices were next to each other and we had to drive there. Otherwise, I wouldn't have taken him to those. Hearing the heartbeat was always a bit anti-climactic for us if we had just had an ultrasound. I don't know what we would have done if there hadn't been the regular and much more interesting MFM appointments, but I don't think my husband thought it was terribly awkward to be in an OB's office. At least hid it well! Overall, I was glad to have his support, and I wanted him there in case something went wrong (the few times I had to go to an ultrasound alone, I always worried about that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the whole "we're pregnant" thing is obnoxious. No you are not both pregnant!!!!! And any man or woman who says this is ridiculous!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I've offhandedly used this phrase before...I didn't know until I started reading DCUM that other people are practically shitting themselves with indignation about it! Do you get this upset when a couple says "We're having a baby"?