Does anyone think their child ISN'T attractive?

[Anonymous]

I was expecting an ugly baby to come out but I was so shocked, I said "wow! He's kind of good looking" and my OB took another look after the baby was cleaned up and said "yeah, he's definitely a good looking baby." Then I found out from one of the nurses that he was a favorite with all the them and they were fighting over who got to take care of him. He also didn't cry until we took him home. He does get special treatment at preschool despite the fact he was high maintenance for a couple of years. He is adorable and I think he doesn't mind the attention and he is a bit of a charmer. I too will try to keep it in check as he grows up. But, damn, he is adorable. My mom says he still is not as beautiful as I was as a child. Next year is kindergarten, I expect it won't matter so much since he's a boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: When he was a newborn, I went into a coffee house that I had been a "regular" at for a couple years. The owner saw him and gasped and said "Oh my god! What happened to his face?"
I stopped going to that coffee house after that.

WTF is wrong with people? how can a normal adult ask that question?

[Anonymous]

It's hard as a parent to not think your little one is the cutest thing ever. Besides the obvious being blinded by love reasons, I think we associate how they look with the total love we feel for them based on personality, changing expressions, etc.

We knew before having our first that all newborns are really not that cute - really, they aren't. Many will get pretty cute (more "Gerber"-ish) by 6 months or so, but objectively, newborns are NOT the cutest form of baby. Some look pretty good for newborns - but they are all basically funny looking little aliens. Then we had our first baby and decided that she bucked the trend, and was objectively attractive for a newborn. We looked back at the pictures and realized we were love-blinded idiots; she was as funny-looking (perhaps more so!) as the rest of 'em! Same thing happened with our second, even though we should have known better. Now that they are pre-schoolers, we think their looks have improved, but we definitely know that they are out-cuted by lots of other kids. We still think they are pretty cute, because they are ours, but we can tell a cuter kid when we see one. We don't think they're ugly, however, and I wonder if any parent could admit that they have an ugly child? We all know there are ugly children out there - but I honestly couldn't tell you if mine fit that description. Sigh, blinded by love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older I get the more beautiful I think almost everyone is. Sometimes I play a game on the metro where I check out people in the car and find the aspect I think is most lovely. I am actually a snide and cynical person by nature, but I think if everyone had a makeover and went on what not to wear, we'd almost all be beautiful.

I agree! I often have the same thoughts.

I honestly feel the same - I am a sucker who finds beauty in almost everyone. DH gags when I say stuff like that. (Especially since I, too, am fairly cynical and sarcastic. Even I wouldn't believe this coming from me, but that's how I feel!)

[Anonymous]

I think my child is completely adorable, but I wouldn't go on and on about it to other people. That just seems obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

My mom always told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world. (Turns out I am actually not!) I had a lot of unreasonable expectations about what I was entitled to, based on that. I have always been told that I am beautiful and received a lot of male attention from the time I was 13 onward.

I wish my mom spent more energy on valuing intelligence and hard work in school. Beauty eventually fades and conceited people are a bore!

Now that I have a baby son, I tell him how cute he is (omg effing adorable!) but I plan on curtailing it when he starts to understand words. I will praise other things about him and keep the fawning over looks thing to a minimum and talk instead about how proud I am when he does something good/noble/smart etc.

[Anonymous]

People are always stopping me on the street to tell me how cute my little girl is and while everyone means well and they're super nice, I worry that my daughter is going to grow up getting used to the attention. It's totally true that more attractive people have an easier life, but I also think that a less attractive phase builds character. My husband and I joked about giving her a bad haircut and braces in middle school just to make sure she goes through that awkward phase.

It's strange because of course I think my daughter is the cutest baby in the world, but I think I am a tad self conscious of it as well and I think that prevents me from telling her how cute she is all the time. Of course I do, but theres a tiny part of me that holds back a little. I never say "pretty" for all the gender loaded meanings behind that word.

[Anonymous]

DH and I don't have kids yet but I've always been nervous because neither of us is exceptionally attractive and we both have strong, conflicting features. This gives me hope that I will find our future babies cute, even if no one else does

[Anonymous]

I'm 19 years of age, reading all the posts where people referred to their own children, their supposed life and blood, with horribly negative comments, could probably convince me to blow my own fucking brains out.

[Anonymous]

There is more to life than looks PP. Both of my parents were models and I was just average looking. My sister took after my parents and is a model. My whole life I was told my face was too small, I was too fat, my legs were too short, etc etc. since I wasn't pretty I studied hard and have a much better life than my beautiful parents and sister who live their lives fearing old age or anything which could hurt their looks.

Looks aren't everything.

[Anonymous]

I think I am actually capable of judging my son fairly (or at least compared to some other parents). - looks, intelligence, his strengths and weaknesses. But I've learned never to admit this in public. People look at you like you have grown two heads if you don't think your child is the best thing ever. I love my child. I love him dearly. He has wonderful traits. But he is human.

[Anonymous]

Um... IME, people (strangers) will stop probably 90% of parents to tell them how cute their baby is.

I don't mean that nearly every parent will be subjected to a constant barrage of oohs and aahs from every single stranger they meet, but I do mean that nearly every parent will be told repeatedly (maybe daily, if they get out a lot) that they have a "sooo cute," or even "beautiful" baby (especially before the child is 2).

I think it's like having a puppy-- even the "ugly" ones are pretty cute to people who like dogs, for a variety of evolutionary reasons. Plus, their cute behavior, smiles, etc. can up the cute factor a lot.

Obviously some people get more compliments than others, but I think it's really hard to tell, especially when you're a first-time parent, if you are getting more compliments than anyone else. Spoiler alert-- you're probably not.

If anything, I probably downgrade my own DC's appearance-- I probably think she's less attractive than she "objectively" is. Compliments galore. But I know lots and lots of kids who are nothing "special" (as compared to other babies/toddlers) whose parents get told how cute they are-- pretty frequently. That's along with kids I think are more "objectively" attractive than my own DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I don't have kids yet but I've always been nervous because neither of us is exceptionally attractive and we both have strong, conflicting features. This gives me hope that I will find our future babies cute, even if no one else does

My kids may not grow up to be gorgeous, but right now they are both much more adorable than DH and I, and strangers exclaim over them all the time.

[Anonymous]

There is more to good looks than picture perfect physical perfection. Personality can make a plain person beautiful and a physically beautiful person ugly.

My kids have always been adorable to me but they both are a lot of fun to be around too. If they were difficult would I still think they were adorable? I don't know.

[Anonymous]

Every grandmother thinks their grandchild is the most beautiful, smartest and most wonderful child.