Does anyone think their child ISN'T attractive?

[Anonymous]

I honestly cannot objectively judge my daughter's beauty because I genuinely think she is the best looking girl in the world. My husband and I often wonder whether she really is to an outsider, but in my eyes, she is gorgeous! We tell her that she is beautiful, but no matter what, we always tell her how smart and funny and sweet she is, because we want her to know that those are the qualities that are important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The older I get the more beautiful I think almost everyone is. Sometimes I play a game on the metro where I check out people in the car and find the aspect I think is most lovely. I am actually a snide and cynical person by nature, but I think if everyone had a makeover and went on what not to wear, we'd almost all be beautiful.

Me, too. And I don't think "extreme makeover," y'know? Often the most appealing part of a person is her ethnic nose, something that makes her different.

It is weird to rave to other people about the beauty of your own children.

[Anonymous]

I think my daughter is gorgeous but I am not at all objective. Somehow I don't think anyone would ever tell me otherwise, so I'll just go on thinking she is extraordinarily beautiful.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say my DD is "unattractive," but I know she is average-looking. It doesn't change the way I feel about her. There is so much more to life than being pretty. When I was growing up, everyone told me I was such a "beautiful" child--my mother, my teachers, strangers at the store--even my classmates' parents would remark that I was "the most beautiful girl in the class." I wished they would all shut up. I didn't want to be different, and it seemed superficial to me even at age 5. Why was my appearance the only thing anyone seemed to notice? I am glad it will not be like that for DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with a birth defect (cosmetic only, his has no health issues associated with it--though some people with the same issue do (Port wine stain birth mark--Sturge Weber syndrome).

I understand fully that some people might think it makes him ugly, and it breaks my heart. I still think he is gorgeous.

That just makes him all the more special and gorgeous. People can be nasty, but not everyone thinks that way.

I wouldn't think that way either, first PP. But, fwiw, my DD (age 5) also has a birth defect (also cosmetic only -- it's on her face -- she was born w/ cleft lip/cleft palate -- it's repaired, but we have many plastic surgeries still to go up until she is about 18 and her face is adult-sized) and I know exactly what you mean when you wonder what other people think. We haven't run into any negative feedback yet but I am told kids start noticing and commenting on things like this in about a few years, so I don't know how things will go when she gets older.:*( Also, we've been in the same daycare/school since she was 3, so everyone just knows her for who she is, not what she looks like, but we are starting a new school next year as she enters kindergarten, so it will be a whole new community for us. :*(

[Anonymous]

The older I get the more beautiful I think almost everyone is. Sometimes I play a game on the metro where I check out people in the car and find the aspect I think is most lovely. I am actually a snide and cynical person by nature, but I think if everyone had a makeover and went on what not to wear, we'd almost all be beautiful.

Me, too. And I don't think "extreme makeover," y'know? Often the most appealing part of a person is her ethnic nose, something that makes her different.

It is weird to rave to other people about the beauty of your own children.

Me three! And I agree, "what I look for" is what makes people unique, which rarely = conventionally attractive. Same with children.

And on a snarkier note, although I enjoy finding beauty and all, "making over" folks in my imagination in D.C. is almost too easy in the sense that this has got to be one of the worst dresed cities in the U.S.

[Anonymous]

I don't think my 2 yr old is beautiful by objective/superficial standards, but my husband thinks she is the most beautiful kid ever and won't be told otherwise! Her personality on the other hand, best ever! And I won't be told otherwise! (Though I don't talk about that, of course!) People often say she's the cutest thing ever, but I really think they mean her charm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with a birth defect (cosmetic only, his has no health issues associated with it--though some people with the same issue do (Port wine stain birth mark--Sturge Weber syndrome).

I understand fully that some people might think it makes him ugly, and it breaks my heart. I still think he is gorgeous.

That just makes him all the more special and gorgeous. People can be nasty, but not everyone thinks that way.

I wouldn't think that way either, first PP. But, fwiw, my DD (age 5) also has a birth defect (also cosmetic only -- it's on her face -- she was born w/ cleft lip/cleft palate -- it's repaired, but we have many plastic surgeries still to go up until she is about 18 and her face is adult-sized) and I know exactly what you mean when you wonder what other people think. We haven't run into any negative feedback yet but I am told kids start noticing and commenting on things like this in about a few years, so I don't know how things will go when she gets older.:*( Also, we've been in the same daycare/school since she was 3, so everyone just knows her for who she is, not what she looks like, but we are starting a new school next year as she enters kindergarten, so it will be a whole new community for us. :*(

I had a good friend in high school with a scar from a cleft lip/palate...didn't slow her down one bit. Granted, I don't know what it was like for her growing up, or during the tough middle school years, but she was truly one of the funniest, most outgoing, ambitious, awesomest people I've ever known. I'm sure some of that stems from "overcoming" having a plainly visible scar like that, but she is just also a naturally wonderful, beautiful person

[Anonymous]

I attended a breastfeeding support group during maternity leave with 30ish moms & babies and I sincerely thought my daughter was, by far, the absolute cutest there. I know I'm biased, but my daughter was so alert and just looked more normal than the other scrunched up newborns. She also started smiling back earlier than average - so that was to die for!

Now that DD is a little older, I still think it's one of the cutest kids in the room, so long as her hair is clean and her snot is under control.

[Anonymous]

I tell my youngest (3 yo) that he is "sooo cute" multiple times a day. I can't help it. But sometimes when he's sleeping I'll try to be more objective and conclude that he is probably pretty average (most 3 yo are cute, IMO) but it is his personality and spirit that really jump out at you (in a good way)...oh, and those blue eyes.

My SIL once asked me (regarding my oldest) if people often comment on his good looks like they do her DD. Now, I love my neice but l always found a her a little peculiar looking. I think by her teens years or 20s, she'll really grow into her looks though. Now my other niece (on my side of the family), was like the spitting image of me for several years. So I never thought I could objectively comment on her looks since I have my own issues with my appearance.

[Anonymous]

When I saw my oldest in the OB's hands my first involuntary thought was "She's so ugly!" I've changed my opinion of course but she had newborn misshapen head and marks on her face.

[Anonymous]

When I look back at pictures of my kid I realize she had cuter phases and...well...less cute ones. But at the time of the less cute ones? I thought she was the most adorable creature on earth. Still do.

This. Everything about my babies was cute to me. Until I looked back later at their baby pictures They'll always be beautiful to their mama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The older I get the more beautiful I think almost everyone is. Sometimes I play a game on the metro where I check out people in the car and find the aspect I think is most lovely. I am actually a snide and cynical person by nature, but I think if everyone had a makeover and went on what not to wear, we'd almost all be beautiful.

Me, too. And I don't think "extreme makeover," y'know? Often the most appealing part of a person is her ethnic nose, something that makes her different.

It is weird to rave to other people about the beauty of your own children.

Me three! And I agree, "what I look for" is what makes people unique, which rarely = conventionally attractive. Same with children.

And on a snarkier note, although I enjoy finding beauty and all, "making over" folks in my imagination in D.C. is almost too easy in the sense that this has got to be one of the worst dresed cities in the U.S.

Ha. Absoluely PP, particularly given its size and general importance. I often think that people here dress the way the buildings look: Boxy, sex-less, unimaginative and yet important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with a birth defect (cosmetic only, his has no health issues associated with it--though some people with the same issue do (Port wine stain birth mark--Sturge Weber syndrome).

I understand fully that some people might think it makes him ugly, and it breaks my heart. I still think he is gorgeous.

That just makes him all the more special and gorgeous. People can be nasty, but not everyone thinks that way.

I wouldn't think that way either, first PP. But, fwiw, my DD (age 5) also has a birth defect (also cosmetic only -- it's on her face -- she was born w/ cleft lip/cleft palate -- it's repaired, but we have many plastic surgeries still to go up until she is about 18 and her face is adult-sized) and I know exactly what you mean when you wonder what other people think. We haven't run into any negative feedback yet but I am told kids start noticing and commenting on things like this in about a few years, so I don't know how things will go when she gets older.:*( Also, we've been in the same daycare/school since she was 3, so everyone just knows her for who she is, not what she looks like, but we are starting a new school next year as she enters kindergarten, so it will be a whole new community for us. :*(

I had a good friend in high school with a scar from a cleft lip/palate...didn't slow her down one bit. Granted, I don't know what it was like for her growing up, or during the tough middle school years, but she was truly one of the funniest, most outgoing, ambitious, awesomest people I've ever known. I'm sure some of that stems from "overcoming" having a plainly visible scar like that, but she is just also a naturally wonderful, beautiful person

Thanks, PP!

[Anonymous]

My grandmother used to quote me:

"My face is my fortune, Sir" she said
And he studied that self same face
And was heard to say as he turned away
"Well poverty's no disgrace."

My children are beautiful and I tell them that every day. Because there's so much that is beautiful. Even the toothless, dinged, gimpy one who looks like CPS should get involved because of various injuries. She's especially beautiful when she climbs into bed each morning and recites the entire book "guess how much I love you" by heart. No modelling contracts yet (maybe they have lost our zip code) but my children are GORGEOUS!!