Does anyone think their child ISN'T attractive?

[Anonymous]

People think their children are beautiful because most children are, in fact, beautiful. Babies aren't all gorgeous, but even those that aren't "cute" are still "cute".....like a bulldog

I have known people who didn't think their children are cute. I have also known adults who are aware that their Parents think they're ugly. My Mother always told me I was a pretty baby and I didn't believe her. Now my daughter looks just like me and I think she's beautiful. Am I correct? No way to tell. She does get a lot of people stopping in public and cooing at her. But she's 2. So. Eh. I think she's pretty, anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think my son (2.5) is absolutely gorgeous now, but I'd be the first to admit that he was not a good-looking baby and did not grow into his charming face until perhaps 9 months. The thing is he never had any baby fat, and until 6-9 months looked just scrawny and kind of meh. But right now...he's absolutely fabulous.

[Anonymous]

I don't have children, but the cutest child in my life is our best friends' DD, and I've wondered if I only think of her as the cutest because I care about her the most.

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends always goes on and on about how cute her kid is. "Oh you are so adorable! Can you believe how cute he is? I could just eat you up!" etc etc. Her kid is not that cute. I know it's horrible to say and I'd never even think it if she didn't go on and on about how great-looking he is.

I have 2 friends whose babies/children are ugly. UGLY. Cross-eyed, huge noses, tiny eyes too close together, the whole shebang. But my friends go on and on about how cute they are and dress them in shirts that say "Aren't I cute?" and post endless FB pictures. I feel embarrassed for them. You'd think they'd get the hint when absolutely no one gushes over their looks or when everyone says things like, "Cute outfit!" or "Great smile!" Aww.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids. The first (boy) came out and everyone in the room (docs, nurses, etc) said wow, what a beautiful baby. I guess he was but I didn't think about it. I didn't know any better. He is a gorgeous kid. We get stopped all the time about it. Told her should model, etc.

Second one came (girl) and not pretty at all. A face only a mother could love. Dad hoped she would grow into her looks. She was not a pretty baby and we knew it. At around 2 - 2 1/2 something changed and she turned pretty. Unconventional but pretty.

Third (girl) came out beautiful and still is. She is a head turner. she has the best of both.

As the youngest of girls, I want to just ask as a total stranger on a website (who, obviously, has an opinion of great matter, to you. haha!) that you never tell this story to your daughters. Seriously. Just don't. No matter how beautiful you think your older daughter turns out to be. No one wants to be told they're "unconventional". Your older daughter will know very quickly that she is not as conventionally pretty as her sister because people are assholes and will tell her. She'll see baby pictures and put it together. She'll get labeled the "smart one". My older sister is prettier than I am. Well, she was when we were kids. I grew up thinking that I was the "smart one". She once told me that if she were as confident in her intelligence or I was as confident in my looks we'd be the perfect woman. Other people telling her she was the pretty one or people telling me I was the smart one didn't make her feel beautiful or me feel smart.....it made me feel ugly and her feel stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a poster a few weeks ago freaking out because her baby was ugly.

But in general, I think most mothers think their children are beautiful.

There is a lovely song by the Magnetic Fields that includes the verse:

Well, you may not be beautiful
But it's not for me to judge
I don't know if you're beautiful
Because I love you too much.

Love the Magnetic Fields. My DD (6) and I were at the 6th & I show a couple of months ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People think their children are beautiful because most children are, in fact, beautiful. Babies aren't all gorgeous, but even those that aren't "cute" are still "cute".....like a bulldog

I have known people who didn't think their children are cute. I have also known adults who are aware that their Parents think they're ugly. My Mother always told me I was a pretty baby and I didn't believe her. Now my daughter looks just like me and I think she's beautiful. Am I correct? No way to tell. She does get a lot of people stopping in public and cooing at her. But she's 2. So. Eh. I think she's pretty, anyway.

Whenever I'm at a gathering with a lot of kids, I look around and can't help but think, "If these kids are so beautiful, why are the adults so ugly." One of life's mysteries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first baby was horribly ugly. She was big like a sumo wrestler baby, and had a really weird face. I wanted to cry when I saw her. Actually, I did cry. She was just ... awful-looking. I'd look at her and think "I need to teach her how to stand up to bullying, I need to really nourish whatever inner talents she has, she needs to have a sparkling personality" and I was frantic about what if we had to get her braces and then she got beat up and it messed up her braces (I was hormonal).

Turned out once she hit about 3, she cuted up (and lost the baby weight). She's now 8 and totally normal looking and even random strangers think she's cute.

DH and I thought maybe our genes just combine to make ugly babies, but we bit the bullet and made two more and the second two came out MUCH cuter than the first.

I hear what you're saying, but I think fat babies are pretty cute! I love the pudge!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like a couple of the PPs, one of my children had a hemangioma as a baby-- a serious one that deformed a facial feature. It eventually required surgery, and it now looks much better but is still somewhat noticeable and might need a followup surgery when older. At the time I knew it wasn't great, and random people would often ask me about it (never in a mean way, just curious, especially kids)-- but looking back at the photos now I'm struck by how much worse it was than I thought at the time! I guess that protective motherhood gene had really kicked in for me.

Now my younger kid has been lovely from an early age and we're often stopped in the store by comments like what a gorgeous baby, etc. It always makes me feel a bit awkward when my older kid is there, as if they'll remember/realize there's a difference in how people have treated them. I always try to make up for it with my own compliments.

PP here with the son with a PWS.

My son's PWS covers most of one of his cheeks. It is flat, not raised like a hemangioma, but it is a dark red. It does extend very close to his eye, so we are very lucky that he does not have Sturge Weber Syndrome. I read up on it a lot and have heard that as people with PWS age, it can get thicker and raised and cause bleeding. We tried laser treatments when he was very young. He had to go under General Anesthesia for the treatments. Then we moved here to the DC area when he was 2, and the new hospital said they don't do GA for the laser treatments. It was awful, he was in so much pain. I couldn't put him through that again. It's been several years since his last laser treatment and I've thought of checking back to see if they have changed their policy about GA.

When he was a newborn, I went into a coffee house that I had been a "regular" at for a couple years. The owner saw him and gasped and said "Oh my god! What happened to his face?"
I stopped going to that coffee house after that.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids is not attractive. But she'll be fine. I was never pretty and I'm a happy person with a great life.

[Anonymous]

Mine are adorable. I often squeal because of how much cuteness is in my house.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was born about three weeks early and for the longest time was very skinny. I did not find her to be at all cute. A friend had a baby around the same time and when we would be out together people would comment about how cute her child was and say absolutely nothing about mine. Friends and family would tell me she was cute but I really think part of it was just because that is what you say and part of it was because she was just a little teeny person and there is just something inherently cute about that. She just was not physically attractive. She was incredibly sweet and a joy to me, but just not all that cute. Fast forward to about 14 months. She started filling out a little bit and all of a sudden I started thinking she was absolutely deliciously gorgeous. Her sweet personality remains and her external beauty seems to be catching up with her internal beauty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say my DD is "unattractive," but I know she is average-looking. It doesn't change the way I feel about her. There is so much more to life than being pretty. When I was growing up, everyone told me I was such a "beautiful" child--my mother, my teachers, strangers at the store--even my classmates' parents would remark that I was "the most beautiful girl in the class." I wished they would all shut up. I didn't want to be different, and it seemed superficial to me even at age 5. Why was my appearance the only thing anyone seemed to notice? I am glad it will not be like that for DD.

Interesting. My daughter gets this kind of reaction and I wonder how she feels about it. I know she gets preferential treatment because of how she looks. At stores, restaurants, even random people want to give her free things, tell her she's beautiful, the next Miss America, etc. She's only five now. Yes I tell her she's beautiful too, but she doesn't need to hear it every day. I tell her that she's also smart, strong, brave, creative, persistent and kind.

When people talk about how beautiful she is I say, yes, but she also is a great reader and she loves science. Friends' parents ask why she isn't a model and I explain that i would rather that she have more of a "normal" childhood.

I wonder if she also wishes that people would stop commenting on her looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just thinking about this. We were at disney world yesterday and I saw thousands upon thousands of kids and I think about a dozen were truly beautiful children. There were actually quite a few attractive adults but very few really cute kids-a handful at most and often the most attractive parents had thw plainest kids. I love watching crowds and spent a lot of down time in line watching those around me.

And yet I'm sure all the parents (myself included) thought (think) our kids are gorgeous. And thank goodness for that!

Maybe this gives hope to you can be awkward looking and turn out to be a swan

[Anonymous]

Of course, my children are beautiful and cute, but my sister's kids...ouch! She has a blog and blathers on and on about how darling and special each kiddo is and .... they just are goofy looking. I'm embarrassed for her, especially when she tells me that our kids really resemble. But, good for her, she certainly is convinced that her kids are the most beautiful so they will grow up thinking that, too.

[Anonymous]

When DS was born I had the overwhelming feeling that he was just absolutely perfect. He was a c-section baby, so didn't have any squishing going on...but I don't think that would have mattered anyway.

But he had these skinny chicken legs. I just kept thinking about how much cuter little chubby baby legs are. The skinny legs were off-putting to me. I knew at the time how terrible it was of me to feel that way; and in hindsight I still can't figure out why those cute little legs bugged me. Anyway, he put on some baby fat pretty quickly. And I do still think he's the cutest toddler ever, whether it's true or not.