Teacher's note on homework: "What a mess. Are you proud of this?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a lazy teacher. This board is so pro teacher that posters will defend anything a teacher says.

The vast majority of posts on this thread, including a number from individuals identifying themselves as teachers (who knows, it's anonymous!), are quite critical of the teacher and supportive of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also a teacher and the comment is not appropriate. It's entirely appropriate to point out to a child that his/her work is too messy. I've done it many times. This was not the way to do it. It's not hard to write, "Your handwriting on this worksheet was very messy. It was very difficult for me to grade. Next time, please work on writing more neatly!"

Put yourself in the child's shoes. Would you want your boss to write you a note with that tone? I wouldn't. Critical feedback is necessary-- but do it respectfully.

Exactly what I was thinking. Could you imagine this from a managing partner to a newly hired junior associate? Time to circulate the resume could be right around the corner.

You must not be (and have never been) either a managing partner or a newly hired junior associate.

+1

I'm tired of a community that walks on egg shells around kids. For those of us in the workforce, we've seen the ramifications of this approach with recent college graduates. They can't take criticism at all--and don't have a good sense of great work vs not-so-great work. I commend this teacher for asking a student the tough question many parents want to avoid: are you proud of your work. Or in other words, is this the best you can do.

I have a child who struggles with anxiety, attention deficit and penmanship. If it's the best DC can do, then okay. If it's possibly not DC needs to be called out for it. It will only benefit DC longterm to have to rise to the occasion and be proud of work done.

We all need to be reminded that our children will be competing in an international work environment where many cultures insist on the best from their children, rather than the growing trend of mediocracy and entitlement in America.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Here's what we decided. I decided to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt, and talked to DC instead. (By the way, DC never mentioned the teacher's comment. I just found it when reviewing the workbook.) If it looks like this kind her usual way of communitcating to her students, I will say something.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Was your child upset?

Remember, the child knows the teacher's voice, and maybe reads the comments with a different tone. Maybe it was a lighthearted, What a mess!

Tone is everything!

Many times things at school upset parents and not the child. I only get involved if something is affecting my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also a teacher and the comment is not appropriate. It's entirely appropriate to point out to a child that his/her work is too messy. I've done it many times. This was not the way to do it. It's not hard to write, "Your handwriting on this worksheet was very messy. It was very difficult for me to grade. Next time, please work on writing more neatly!"

Put yourself in the child's shoes. Would you want your boss to write you a note with that tone? I wouldn't. Critical feedback is necessary-- but do it respectfully.

Exactly what I was thinking. Could you imagine this from a managing partner to a newly hired junior associate? Time to circulate the resume could be right around the corner.

You must not be (and have never been) either a managing partner or a newly hired junior associate.

+1

I'm tired of a community that walks on egg shells around kids. For those of us in the workforce, we've seen the ramifications of this approach with recent college graduates. They can't take criticism at all--and don't have a good sense of great work vs not-so-great work. I commend this teacher for asking a student the tough question many parents want to avoid: are you proud of your work. Or in other words, is this the best you can do.

I have a child who struggles with anxiety, attention deficit and penmanship. If it's the best DC can do, then okay. If it's possibly not DC needs to be called out for it. It will only benefit DC longterm to have to rise to the occasion and be proud of work done.

We all need to be reminded that our children will be competing in an international work environment where many cultures insist on the best from their children, rather than the growing trend of mediocracy and entitlement in America.

How much printing do you do in your job?
Most in this competitive international workforce...type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You must not be (and have never been) either a managing partner or a newly hired junior associate.

+1

I'm tired of a community that walks on egg shells around kids. For those of us in the workforce, we've seen the ramifications of this approach with recent college graduates. They can't take criticism at all--and don't have a good sense of great work vs not-so-great work. I commend this teacher for asking a student the tough question many parents want to avoid: are you proud of your work. Or in other words, is this the best you can do.

I have a child who struggles with anxiety, attention deficit and penmanship. If it's the best DC can do, then okay. If it's possibly not DC needs to be called out for it. It will only benefit DC longterm to have to rise to the occasion and be proud of work done.

We all need to be reminded that our children will be competing in an international work environment where many cultures insist on the best from their children, rather than the growing trend of mediocracy and entitlement in America.

Nobody is talking about walking on eggshells around kids. Nobody has suggested the kid not be called out on the mess or challenged to do better. You need to get over your "I'm in the real world of business" self.

What you're missing here is, we're talking about respect. The teacher is modeling lots of different things, including respect (sing it with me). So challenge the kid to do better, but don't humiliate her. I went to a top business school, and nobody taught us that humiliation is the best way to motivate employees.

Re this particular note, I can't tell about the tone, so I have no opinion on whether it's disrespectful or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You must not be (and have never been) either a managing partner or a newly hired junior associate.

+1

I'm tired of a community that walks on egg shells around kids. For those of us in the workforce, we've seen the ramifications of this approach with recent college graduates. They can't take criticism at all--and don't have a good sense of great work vs not-so-great work. I commend this teacher for asking a student the tough question many parents want to avoid: are you proud of your work. Or in other words, is this the best you can do.

I have a child who struggles with anxiety, attention deficit and penmanship. If it's the best DC can do, then okay. If it's possibly not DC needs to be called out for it. It will only benefit DC longterm to have to rise to the occasion and be proud of work done.

We all need to be reminded that our children will be competing in an international work environment where many cultures insist on the best from their children, rather than the growing trend of mediocracy and entitlement in America.

Nobody is talking about walking on eggshells around kids. Nobody has suggested the kid not be called out on the mess or challenged to do better. You need to get over your "I'm in the real world of business" self.

What you're missing here is, we're talking about respect. The teacher is modeling lots of different things, including respect (sing it with me). So challenge the kid to do better, but don't humiliate her. I went to a top business school, and nobody taught us that humiliation is the best way to motivate employees.

Re this particular note, I can't tell about the tone, so I have no opinion on whether it's disrespectful or not.

EXACTLY. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a teacher do something similiar but in a nicer way to my 1st grader. She wrote a page long not to my daughter indicating that her handwriting was not neat enough and that if she handed in work like this again she would make her redo it. I was not happy with note. While we would all like to hand in our best work, it isn't always possible. I know we were rushed the day that she got the assignment that was due the next day. I thought it was best to complete the assignment vs. not completing it. In the future we will probably just skip the assignment and write a note. My DC does homework quickly and knows the material well. My biggest problem with what the teacher wrote was that it was written to a six year and therefore I thought it was inappropriate no matter what the tone. I also thought that she could have told her that verbally instead of writing it. My guess is that the note was really written to me but directed to my child who is a good reader. I also explained to the teacher at the beginning of the year that my DC is a little bit of a perfectionist. Often time she will re-write her letters if they are not perfect. It is hard to watch her re-write the same letter several times to get it write, especially when you don't notice any major problems with it. I'm happy when she turns in less than perfect work because for her that is progress and means she is satisfied. It really ticked me off that she wrote the note to my child given the concerns that I express to her. She has asked my kid if that was her best work and I thought that was a better way of handling things. My DC works fast and likes to finish first which often conflicts with producing your best work.

You are super defensive of your kid. They will have many different teachers. Loosen up a little and let your child adjust to the world that is. You were right, it was better to turn in something than nothing. The teacher was also right. She or he correctly saw that it was 'done in a rush', and often work done in a rush is work that should be re-done.

[Anonymous]

19:46, I'm a teacher and I reject your characterization of the parent as being "super defensive." The comment is a red flag -- perhaps the teacher is not always abusive but it was not okay, particularly for a relatively young student. I don't believe in feeding kids praise when their work deserves criticism, and I think many parents overreact to what is just an honest critique of work, but this really isn't a close call in my professional judgment.

Different people perceive things differently, so I would not criticize you as a parent if you did not react to such a comment, but I do not agree with your assessment of the OP's response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a teacher do something similiar but in a nicer way to my 1st grader. She wrote a page long not to my daughter indicating that her handwriting was not neat enough and that if she handed in work like this again she would make her redo it. I was not happy with note. While we would all like to hand in our best work, it isn't always possible. I know we were rushed the day that she got the assignment that was due the next day. I thought it was best to complete the assignment vs. not completing it. In the future we will probably just skip the assignment and write a note. My DC does homework quickly and knows the material well. My biggest problem with what the teacher wrote was that it was written to a six year and therefore I thought it was inappropriate no matter what the tone. I also thought that she could have told her that verbally instead of writing it. My guess is that the note was really written to me but directed to my child who is a good reader. I also explained to the teacher at the beginning of the year that my DC is a little bit of a perfectionist. Often time she will re-write her letters if they are not perfect. It is hard to watch her re-write the same letter several times to get it write, especially when you don't notice any major problems with it. I'm happy when she turns in less than perfect work because for her that is progress and means she is satisfied. It really ticked me off that she wrote the note to my child given the concerns that I express to her. She has asked my kid if that was her best work and I thought that was a better way of handling things. My DC works fast and likes to finish first which often conflicts with producing your best work.

You are super defensive of your kid. They will have many different teachers. Loosen up a little and let your child adjust to the world that is. You were right, it was better to turn in something than nothing. The teacher was also right. She or he correctly saw that it was 'done in a rush', and often work done in a rush is work that should be re-done.

Perhaps I am but my kid is 6 and is a young 6 at that. This one probably 2 months into the school year. We are all entitled to a bad day. She does not consistently hand in mess work and her work was not IMHO messy for a 6 year old. The were written within the margins but the spacing was off. Not all of the letters met the floor, the letters stop just shy. Some letters did not make it to the middle line. I have seen 6 year olds who can barely write and form their letters. Personally, I still think teachers should be encouraging 1st graders and incenting them to produce their best work. I guess all these kids with writing LDs and fine motor issues are out of luck. I guess my mentioning of her perfectionist tendencies and responding to positive incentives should be ignore because I'm just another sensitive parent. I guess I will tell her to shove when she tells me that my child can complete an assignment because she is constantly rewriting her work and never satisfied with her work and getting frustrated that her work isn't perfect. This isn't Catholic school and it was not penmenship class.

[Anonymous]

This is a teaching moment and shouldn't be wasted. Explain to your DC about what the note means (your work was messy and your teacher wants you to turn in the type of neat work of which you are capable. Remember how you had to rush to complete this homework... Well it looks like your teacher noticed.) We are paying a lot of money to put our kids in private schools so our kids don't slip through the cracks and our held accountable for their actions/omissions. By intervening here, you are setting the tone that your DC is not to be criticized because the distinction that DC may be constructively criticized in a better tone with more ecoraging words will be lost. On a related note, I see on my 3rd graders travel soccer team that there are several Private school school kids who break into tears when the coach "criticizes" aka coaches rather than coddle them. Without exception their parents are the one intervening on the sidelines that the other team is fouling (not the case) and taking the coach aside after practice. It is sad for the girls to not be allowed the blessing of a bruises knee.