Teacher's note on homework: "What a mess. Are you proud of this?"

[Anonymous]

This is for a workbook page with no incorrect answers and no smudges, but simply not with the child's best handwriting. Is this kind of comment okay for a 3rd grader? Am I being too sensitive as a mom to get upset by this?

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the teacher's other interactions with the kids, but I'd say too sensitive. I find that appealing to my daughter's sense of pride in her work often has good results. (I leave off the "what a mess", but I do ask her if she is proud of her work, or doing work that she will be proud of when it's finished.)

[Anonymous]

Weird note. Couldn't the teacher been more constructive with her comments?

[Anonymous]

I can't BELIEVE this. Even if the page was filled with incorrect answers and smudges, this is horrible.

I taught high school, and no matter what the paper looked like, no matter the student, I would never write something like this.

Absolutely report this person.

[Anonymous]

OK. Thanks for the reality check. I first thought that the teacher was have a lousy day to write something like that, but maybe it was me.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the teacher. It could be an attempt to motivate, it could be mean and nasty. It's hard to detect the tone.

I'd talk to the teacher first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't BELIEVE this. Even if the page was filled with incorrect answers and smudges, this is horrible.

I taught high school, and no matter what the paper looked like, no matter the student, I would never write something like this.

Absolutely report this person.

OP here. Ok, now I'm confused by such completely different reactions. I don't think I want to report the teacher. But I do think I want to tell her that my child doesn't respond well to shaming as a teaching tactic.

[Anonymous]

There is a way to help the child see that their work should be something to be proud of. This is not it!

[Anonymous]

Preschool teacher here. I think the comment was inappropriate. Judge the teacher on the whole, though. How is she generally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't BELIEVE this. Even if the page was filled with incorrect answers and smudges, this is horrible.

I taught high school, and no matter what the paper looked like, no matter the student, I would never write something like this.

Absolutely report this person.

OP here. Ok, now I'm confused by such completely different reactions. I don't think I want to report the teacher. But I do think I want to tell her that my child doesn't respond well to shaming as a teaching tactic.

Then definitely do that. Address it in any way you are comfortable, but do address it. That comment is in no way defensible (certainly not pedagogically!!) and the teacher should not get away with it without it being addressed very firmly. Shaming is not a tool any teacher should ever use.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher too -- high school. That seems quite harsh to me and thus okay for you to follow up on without fear of the school thinking you are being over sensitive.

[Anonymous]

I think you are completely overreacting here. For what it is worth, I have a 3rd grader and a 6th grader in a DC private right now.

This is not "shaming" IMO it is merely pointing out the issue and asking her to think about how her work looks. That is a good thing. It is also very private: not spoken, not written on anything anyone else would see, so pretty low key and not overly aggressive. Children need to learn that the visual part of work matters, not just that it is correct.

[Anonymous]

I don't see this as that bad. Should our children not produce work they should be proud of? I think we fail our children if we don't teach them to "own" their work. When is the appropriate age to start instilling pride in one's work? I don't think 8 is too early.

We coddle our children far to much, and we report teachers who try to have a child do better if worded just a little too harshly.

OP, I'd talk to your child first, not the teacher, and ask why he/she thinks the teacher wrote what she did. There may be some history in the classroom you don't know about.