How much money would your spouse/significant other have to make in order for you to stay home?

[Anonymous]

$125k for me. I make a bit more than that as a single mom and I definitely feel like I have enough to live comfortably. If I could cut out childcare expenses I'd be really set. If only I could find a husband!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never have kids and then give them to someone else to raise when they are 3 months old unless I HAD to. And if I valued independence then a job is the last thing I would have. You know I might actually try to be independent as opposed to dependent on a job and someone else to raise my kids.

This is so true. I've decided I don't like being so dependent on food, so I'm going to stop eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have kids and then give them to someone else to raise when they are 3 months old unless I HAD to. And if I valued independence then a job is the last thing I would have. You know I might actually try to be independent as opposed to dependent on a job and someone else to raise my kids.

This is so true. I've decided I don't like being so dependent on food, so I'm going to stop eating.

Exactly. My plan is to be born to extremely wealthy parents so I am financially independent from birth. I'm Mitt Romney and I approved this message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never have kids and then give them to someone else to raise when they are 3 months old unless I HAD to. And if I valued independence then a job is the last thing I would have. You know I might actually try to be independent as opposed to dependent on a job and someone else to raise my kids.

Do you plan to homeschool and shelter your children from the world forever? At what age will they be allowed to venture out of your warm, protective bosom? 18? 30?

To begin every good parent shelters their child. Sheltering is not a bad thing. You wouldn't plant seeds and then leave them out in the cold frost. You would protect the plant and let it grow strong in a firm foundation, so that when the time was right, they could weather the storm.

Furthermore sending a 5 or 6 year old to school is different than sending a 3 month old off to be reared by a stranger for the first 5 years of his or her life. I could never give that away unless I HAD to.

However my kids are homeschooled. I want them to grow up and understand many things that they won't learn in school. One being that if you want financial independence, then a job should be the last thing on your list. Most people equate a job with independence as evidenced by the lack of understanding the point of my post. That notion is laughable.

[Anonymous]

PP, are you independent because you grow your own food and rely on a barter economy instead of a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, are you independent because you grow your own food and rely on a barter economy instead of a job?

I am not independent. Few people are. But there is nothing wrong with relying on others. Things work better that way to some degree. If everyone has a role and works together you get better results than if everyone is on a high horse of delusions.

Ok she depends on her husband to do his part. He depends on her to do hers. You depend on your company to stay in business. You depend on your boss not to fire you. Everyone depends on someone. However as for financial independence...a job is the worst way to try and achieve that so there is no reason to use a job to look down on other mothers and its very laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, are you independent because you grow your own food and rely on a barter economy instead of a job?

I am not independent. Few people are. But there is nothing wrong with relying on others. Things work better that way to some degree. If everyone has a role and works together you get better results than if everyone is on a high horse of delusions.

Ok she depends on her husband to do his part. He depends on her to do hers. You depend on your company to stay in business. You depend on your boss not to fire you. Everyone depends on someone. However as for financial independence...a job is the worst way to try and achieve that so there is no reason to use a job to look down on other mothers and its very laughable.

Psst...I used my job to develop financial independence. We have over $2 million and growing. I don't depend on my employer; I depend on my "brand" in my marketplace for income. We also have passive investments.

[Anonymous]

"To begin every good parent shelters their child. Sheltering is not a bad thing. You wouldn't plant seeds and then leave them out in the cold frost. You would protect the plant and let it grow strong in a firm foundation, so that when the time was right, they could weather the storm.

Furthermore sending a 5 or 6 year old to school is different than sending a 3 month old off to be reared by a stranger for the first 5 years of his or her life. I could never give that away unless I HAD to.

However my kids are homeschooled. I want them to grow up and understand many things that they won't learn in school. One being that if you want financial independence, then a job should be the last thing on your list. Most people equate a job with independence as evidenced by the lack of understanding the point of my post. That notion is laughable."

Interesting notion. Who supports your family?

[Anonymous]

There are some ugly women on this thread.

[Anonymous]

I find it so interesting that so many people's definition of independence is solely based on financial independence. That earning a salary is what makes one independent or not and that those without a salary are not valued members of society.

I know people that have not had a salary due to going back to grad school and their spouses supported them. Others who have worked in charitable organizations where their financial support came form donations and not from a salary. Others who haven't had a salary because they are SAHP. I don't think of any of those people as not being independent adults. To me independence is about so much more than money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, are you independent because you grow your own food and rely on a barter economy instead of a job?

I am not independent. Few people are. But there is nothing wrong with relying on others. Things work better that way to some degree. If everyone has a role and works together you get better results than if everyone is on a high horse of delusions.

Ok she depends on her husband to do his part. He depends on her to do hers. You depend on your company to stay in business. You depend on your boss not to fire you. Everyone depends on someone. However as for financial independence...a job is the worst way to try and achieve that so there is no reason to use a job to look down on other mothers and its very laughable.

Sigh. If there's nothing wrong with relying on others, then why judge mothers who rely on help with child-rearing? I LOVE my son's daycare providers and they bring things to his life that I could never provide (I didn't study elementary education, nor do I come from a diverse background - both of these are examples of things that can help nurture my child's development). Does your husband have a job? Do you not rely on it? How's that home-schooling going in the forest, where you live independently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, are you independent because you grow your own food and rely on a barter economy instead of a job?

I am not independent. Few people are. But there is nothing wrong with relying on others. Things work better that way to some degree. If everyone has a role and works together you get better results than if everyone is on a high horse of delusions.

Ok she depends on her husband to do his part. He depends on her to do hers. You depend on your company to stay in business. You depend on your boss not to fire you. Everyone depends on someone. However as for financial independence...a job is the worst way to try and achieve that so there is no reason to use a job to look down on other mothers and its very laughable.

Psst...I used my job to develop financial independence. We have over $2 million and growing. I don't depend on my employer; I depend on my "brand" in my marketplace for income. We also have passive investments.

That's good for you. I hope you are inspiring other women to do the same as opposed to being one of the women criticizing sahms. I bet you have a great story and a lot of people could learn from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would only stay home if I had enough money in the bank to live off the rest of my life. in my name. I love my husband, but power corrupts even saints.

This suggests significant mistrust of your husband. Sure, "Power corrupts" in a theoretical, Machiavellian sense. But not all husbands who bring home all the income insist on running roughshod over their wives. I work part-time and make about a tenth of what my husband makes, and he has never once used it as an excuse to override my voice on an important decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, are you independent because you grow your own food and rely on a barter economy instead of a job?

I am not independent. Few people are. But there is nothing wrong with relying on others. Things work better that way to some degree. If everyone has a role and works together you get better results than if everyone is on a high horse of delusions.

Ok she depends on her husband to do his part. He depends on her to do hers. You depend on your company to stay in business. You depend on your boss not to fire you. Everyone depends on someone. However as for financial independence...a job is the worst way to try and achieve that so there is no reason to use a job to look down on other mothers and its very laughable.

Sigh. If there's nothing wrong with relying on others, then why judge mothers who rely on help with child-rearing? I LOVE my son's daycare providers and they bring things to his life that I could never provide (I didn't study elementary education, nor do I come from a diverse background - both of these are examples of things that can help nurture my child's development). Does your husband have a job? Do you not rely on it? How's that home-schooling going in the forest, where you live independently?

My first post had a little hint of nastiness and sarcasm but only to match the tone of the previous posts. I do see that the overall point was missed. However I never judged mothers. What I did was state a claim. I said that I would never leave a young child to be raised by strangers unless I had to. That is not a judgment unless I add something to it. And it may make people uncomfortable, but that is what you are doing when you drop a 3 month old off at daycare. I didn't say if it was right or wrong. I said it wouldn't be a first choice for me.

Furthermore I wish mothers had more confidence. You don't need 12 degrees to enrich the life of your child. No one cares more about your childs development than you. Women need to stop giving away so much power and have more confidence in their abilities. You have the ability to create great experiences for your child- whether or not you use daycare is irrelevant. You have the ability to teach your child and facilitate many things.

As for the rest....I think your anger has compromised your understanding of what I wrote.

[Anonymous]

"Furthermore I wish mothers had more confidence. You don't need 12 degrees to enrich the life of your child. No one cares more about your childs development than you. Women need to stop giving away so much power and have more confidence in their abilities. You have the ability to create great experiences for your child- whether or not you use daycare is irrelevant. You have the ability to teach your child and facilitate many things."

Who pays for this "confidence" and "power"?