Four-year-old son likes makeup and nail polish

[Anonymous]

Most young men are pussy metro-sexuals these days. I Understand why when I read dcum.

I dont like when men didn't wax off every bit of body hair, gel up their faux hawks and get spray-on tans.

I didnt know any boys that wore nail polish growing up--young or HS.

I cringe when I see men at the nail salon. Very unmasculine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you let your little girls go shirtless like little boys do? If you are at the pool do you expect your little girls to wear a top or just bottoms?

as I child I felt strongly that I shouldn't have to wear a bathing suit top when my brothers didn't, so I didn't. Before a girl gets breasts, it looks ridiculous to put a bikini top on her. That said, I wouldn't let my daughter go without a bathing top in public after age 5 or so just for fear of catching the attention of perverts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the clearly in the minority poster. With all the things that have to get done why would you take time to paint your sons nails? They are young enough that its not a sexual orientation issue. I just dont get it. It would be a different conversation at 16 but 4 really? What statement are you trying to make by doing it? I know that everyone parents different but surely your kids understand the word no.

I'm the other poster who agrees about saying No to this. And, I agree that it's a different conversation at age 16. If DS decides to start wearing nail polish or makeup at 16 because he wants to try it out or it's the thing to do, that'll be different. I'll be supportive and try to find out what he's thinking. However at age 4, it's just "Nope, sorry" and move on.

Why move on? When my son was smaller (4-7ish) he'd love having his nails painted, as would his younger sister. I'd use non-toxic nail polish only (and I didn't do it much for either of them, w/ my son only a couple times, w/ my daughter maybe 3-4 by now). But I think if he wants it, this is the age in which it's easy for him to get away with it. He chose to have his nails done on a Friday night and removed Sunday night, because he didn't want to have them painted for school. His toes he kept painted til it came off (since they are hidden by socks and shoes at school.) He just did it once or twice, and that was enough. It's fun to have done once at least, and it gets it out of their system. If you say a cold "Nope, sorry" and move on, you've brushed over a sincere wish and left him feeling unheard. Maybe he doesn't care much, but those things add up. Let him explore things when they come up, and you won't end up with a bunch of repressed and buried stuff later, never mind growing distance from the parent.

(My son can read social cues on his own, and the last couple times I did nail polish for his sister he didn't ask, and I can't picture him asking again - he's eight now. He's no longer curious, or he doesn't want to be teased, or he's just past it. But I am glad I let him try it when he wanted to. Life is short, live it fully.)

I'm the 7:39 poster that you responded to, and I have to say thank you for a thoughtful and reasonable response! For the most part, I think you're right. And, I agree with you. Maybe I made it sound more flippant than I meant.

First off, I definitely differentiate between makeup and nail polish. I am completely anti-makeup for girls AND boys that young. Just a personal thing. I just think there's no reason to encourage a girl's (or boy's) interest in makeup and beauty so young. I know others disagree and that's fair. We all draw the line at certain things we don't want our kids to do.

Nail polish is a bit different. I would let a preschool girl wear nail polish occasionally, so maybe you're right that I should take the request more seriously. I guess I think of it in terms of just certain societal norms that are acceptable for girls vs. boys. For example a little boy can go out swimming with no shirt on, but little girls can't. It's just the way things work.

But, maybe you're right. At that age (4-7ish) they're young enough to get away with it, and he won't be able to do it later, so maybe it's worth letting him have the opportunity. Something to think about for me....

I'm the PP you replied to.. happily surprised to se your post. I do agree, by the way, about make-up.. And actually, I really don't like the idea of nail polish for girls or boys. I don't even like it for myself anymore. Maybe especially because I see it as a kid dress-up thing and not a becoming-woman thing (they're too young for that) I don't want to differentiate too much between the children. Both can play dress up.

(and it's funny you mention the bathing suit too.. I truly don't think the top is necessary for small girls but I would have them wear it in a public pool more out of worry for how others might see it, in the interests of keeping them safe. I don't think the same applies to nail polish for a boy.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most young men are p** metro-sexuals these days.

Go away. Despite the strong feelings on both sides of this we're keeping it a thoughtful debate. Leave out the nasty language.

[Anonymous]

Does he like band aids and temporary tattoos? Maybe this is an extension of an interest in colorful body accessories?

[Anonymous]

Why don't metrosexuals wax, not shave, or not not shave, their facial hair to get rid of that nasty five 'o clock shadow look? If the ladies are expected to wax their nether regions, they can at least do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't metrosexuals wax, not shave, or not not shave, their facial hair to get rid of that nasty five 'o clock shadow look? If the ladies are expected to wax their nether regions, they can at least do this.

I l Ike dating men. If I wanted to date a woman, aka metrosexual, I'd become a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't metrosexuals wax, not shave, or not not shave, their facial hair to get rid of that nasty five 'o clock shadow look? If the ladies are expected to wax their nether regions, they can at least do this.

I l Ike dating men. If I wanted to date a woman, aka metrosexual, I'd become a lesbian.

Does that mean men like dating children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't metrosexuals wax, not shave, or not not shave, their facial hair to get rid of that nasty five 'o clock shadow look? If the ladies are expected to wax their nether regions, they can at least do this.

I l Ike dating men. If I wanted to date a woman, aka metrosexual, I'd become a lesbian.

Does that mean men like dating children?

Yes. Usually the metrosexual men go after the skinny, anorexic women with no hips or breasts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you let your little girls go shirtless like little boys do? If you are at the pool do you expect your little girls to wear a top or just bottoms?

When I'm visiting my family in France I do, but here.....no.

[Anonymous]

NO WAY would my husband allow DS to wear lipstick or makeup or anything else "girly". Hell, he doesn't even like him to wear pink, lol.

Maybe we are old-school but it's definitely not happening in my house....

[Anonymous]

I think boundaries are a critical part of raising a happy, well-adjusted child. However, the boundaries we choose to draw as parents teach our children what our family's values are, so I also think those boundaries need to be drawn thoughtfully. I'm not going to draw a boundary just for the sake of saying "no," or just because it's a currently accepted societal norm. I'm going to draw a boundary where, for example, I think the behavior will hurt my child or others.

So, no, I would have no problem painting my 4-yr-old son's nails or letting him try on lipstick (although I wouldn't let him leave the house with make up on, because I don't like the body-conscious message that sends, nor would I let my daughter do that at 4).

If parents want to draw a line and say "no" to nail polish on young boys, then that's (obviously) their right. But they should be aware of what message they are sending ("boys have to conform to certain "masculine" behaviors to be acceptable"), just like they should for any other boundary.

[Anonymous]

I don't think he will turn gay. but I worry that he will become a crossdresser .my mom let me at an early age wear my sisters stuff .i was 6 years old it left a very strong impression im 61 now and all my life I have had to deal with this .so why take chances know from experience it stuck with me all my life .if you all think its cool it is your child but I have to put my 2cents in if I can save one person from having all the guilt and shame I have to try .im so sorry if I offend any body I just to say from a life long crossdresser that my first memory of wanting to be like my mom shaped my wanting to dress .i don't have the answer to if its cool but I know how strong of an impression it gave me at that age.

[Anonymous]

Why would you dig up a six year old thread?

[Anonymous]

Jfc, why some of the harsh comments to OP? We didn't all grow up the same way. Some of us grew up believing not confirming to gender stereotypes was wrong and while we know better, others may not. Stop with the judgment for asking a question.