Four-year-old son likes makeup and nail polish

[Anonymous]

I've painted my son's nails a few times (i do mine like 4-5 times a year). DH didn't like it but I had a younger brother growing up, and cross-dressed him all the time. It's a pretend game at this point, nothing more, and if you treat it like no big deal, it won't be.

I mean, half the time his lips are red from popsicles; what's the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had a dollar for every time we've walked out of the house without me noticing that DS (3) has on lipstick or a pantiliner stuck to the front of his pants, I'd have about $10.

This visual just made my day.

[Anonymous]

Clearly I am in the minority here, but why cant you just say no?

[Anonymous]

I always hate these threads of mothers so proud that their son wears pink, dresses in tutus and paints his nails.

I agree that 4 is pretty young for it to be a sexual orientation issue. I also don't think it is bad if the little boys in your house don't wear make-up or paint their nails. The boys in my house do not. My boys used to comment on my toes (I always paint them) and notice when the color changed...tell me they liked the color, etc. They also see me put on make-up. The little one used to play around with the make-up brushes--actually dust with them more than anything---or use my eyeliner/lipliners like crayons. They do note that this is "Girl Stuff". That is for "girrlss". I am okay with face paint, etc. Boys in make-up not so much. I remember by brother being horrified when my older sister and her friends would paint him up and put barrettes in his hair--he'd run from them shrieking. I think that is a pretty normal response too.

I am not comfortable with painted fingernails or make-up/lipstick on boys. Period. I think it is just weird. I am for gay rights and gay marriage so don't incorrectly assume those of us that aren't into it are homophobes.

I can't recall if one of my boys ever asked me to paint their nails---if they did I am sure I said it was somethign girls do and it was left at that. We don't really need to indulge every single one of our children's requests. If my kid asked to go to school naked the answer would be 'no' too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly I am in the minority here, but why cant you just say no?

No. You are not. I just posted. Some of the moms I've known from preschool and the parks that let their sons do this are very proud of themselves and I really think it is more about them feeling 'oh-so cool and liberal' to be seen as the mom that lets their boys do this stuff (really she was doing it for them because tehy were too small to do it themselves).

Parents say 'no' to all kinds of silly requests...or at least one time in history they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly I am in the minority here, but why cant you just say no?

No. You are not. I just posted. Some of the moms I've known from preschool and the parks that let their sons do this are very proud of themselves and I really think it is more about them feeling 'oh-so cool and liberal' to be seen as the mom that lets their boys do this stuff (really she was doing it for them because tehy were too small to do it themselves).

Parents say 'no' to all kinds of silly requests...or at least one time in history they did.

I tend to agree with this. I don't care if my DS wants to play with pink princesses or wear a tutu to bed, but I've said no to makeup. No, I'm not a crazy homophobe. I support gay marriage (not even quite sure how that'd be related, but before I get flamed for being intolerant).

Like the PP said. I tell DS he can't go out of the house naked. I also tell him that he can't wear makeup. I say it's for adults. When he's older, if it's something he's really into then I'd be willing to discuss it. I set limits with him on all sorts of things. Makeup would just be one more of those things.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, son. Make-up is for girls. Move on....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always hate these threads of mothers so proud that their son wears pink, dresses in tutus and paints his nails.

I agree that 4 is pretty young for it to be a sexual orientation issue. I also don't think it is bad if the little boys in your house don't wear make-up or paint their nails. The boys in my house do not. My boys used to comment on my toes (I always paint them) and notice when the color changed...tell me they liked the color, etc. They also see me put on make-up. The little one used to play around with the make-up brushes--actually dust with them more than anything---or use my eyeliner/lipliners like crayons. They do note that this is "Girl Stuff". That is for "girrlss". I am okay with face paint, etc. Boys in make-up not so much. I remember by brother being horrified when my older sister and her friends would paint him up and put barrettes in his hair--he'd run from them shrieking. I think that is a pretty normal response too.

I am not comfortable with painted fingernails or make-up/lipstick on boys. Period. I think it is just weird. I am for gay rights and gay marriage so don't incorrectly assume those of us that aren't into it are homophobes.

I can't recall if one of my boys ever asked me to paint their nails---if they did I am sure I said it was somethign girls do and it was left at that. We don't really need to indulge every single one of our children's requests. If my kid asked to go to school naked the answer would be 'no' too.

Totally agree with this post.

[Anonymous]

Mine asks all the time. Likes to wear my heels, too, the sparklier the better. We just do fashion shows when he gets in the mood. I don't care at all.

Dressing your child like a girl will not make him gay any more than dressing your daughter like a kitty cat will make her a cat.

[Anonymous]

My kid was never particularly into these things, probably because I wasn't so he didn't have anyone to copy. I imagine that if he had been, I'd have set similar limits to what I would have set for a daughter -- e.g. toenail polish is fine, but not fingernails because I worry about those chemicals on something they put in their mouth; chapstick is fine, but otherwise no makeup on your face (unless maybe in play and then removing it) because it's already so beautiful the way god made it; you can clomp around the house in high heels (bought second hand for dress up because I don't wear them), but outside the house we wear closed toed flat shoes for safety -- you can choose sparkly mary janes, but no heels etc . . . When he was older, if this interest continued we'd probably talk a little about how to anticipate and handle people's responses if he chose to wear certain things.

I'm not "proud" that I'm responding this way, but I am confident that it would have been the right choice for me and my family.

[Anonymous]

Makeup and nail polish are colorful and some of the women he loves and admires wear both. Why wouldn't he want to do it?

[Anonymous]

Is isn't a gay/straight issue, it is a gender stereotyping issue. There are plenty of grown men in the music and film industry who paint their nails. My son asks and I say OK. Why can't he get his nails painted like his sister? I actually think our boys are the ones who are getting excluded from things these days. Girls "can do anything boys can do" but not vice versa...

[Anonymous]

I am the clearly in the minority poster. With all the things that have to get done why would you take time to paint your sons nails? They are young enough that its not a sexual orientation issue. I just dont get it. It would be a different conversation at 16 but 4 really? What statement are you trying to make by doing it? I know that everyone parents different but surely your kids understand the word no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the clearly in the minority poster. With all the things that have to get done why would you take time to paint your sons nails? They are young enough that its not a sexual orientation issue. I just dont get it. It would be a different conversation at 16 but 4 really? What statement are you trying to make by doing it? I know that everyone parents different but surely your kids understand the word no.

I love to see the voice of reason. Yes- we missed out as boys growing up not being able to get manicures with our mommies. Can we feminized the male race anymore????? Let's just cut off their balls and get it over with already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the clearly in the minority poster. With all the things that have to get done why would you take time to paint your sons nails? They are young enough that its not a sexual orientation issue. I just dont get it. It would be a different conversation at 16 but 4 really? What statement are you trying to make by doing it? I know that everyone parents different but surely your kids understand the word no.

I love to see the voice of reason. Yes- we missed out as boys growing up not being able to get manicures with our mommies. Can we feminized the male race anymore????? Let's just cut off their balls and get it over with already.

Meant to say BIG FAt No -- you are not in the minority! This is sick.