Ravi guilty on all major counts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like many Americans, I believe that gay sex is deviant, disgusting and immoral. I think gay "marriange" goes against many thousands of years of human social interaction and is ridiculous. My religion teaches that homosexual acts are a sin. I hate the sin, but don't hate the sinner.

Have I committed a hate crime when I express my view?

No, you've only committed the hate part, without the crime part. Are you seriously suggesting that secretly taping someone and broadcasting it to your friends falls within the realm of protected free speech??? I don't even know how to respond to something so simple-minded. Even those on here who think the conviction was wrong all agree that Ravi's behavior was reprehensible, and far beyond spewing out some idiocy on a message board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't he go to the older BF's place to have sex? Didn't the older BF feel weird going to an 18 yo's college dorm room to do it?

probably b/c older BF is married and his wife is at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing to consider, if Ravi had taped him with a woman, Tyler might have felt more power in dealing with Ravi. He would have been able to cuss Ravi out publicly for the intrusion, calling him a peeping tom pervert, which many people could relate to and hence ostracize Ravi. But because Tyler was gay, he did not feel comfortable confronting Ravi since it would have further exposed Tyler's lifestyle. So in a way, Ravi had Tyler cornered, because of the homosexuality. This is where it is unfair.

Good point. But the truth is (based on the NYer article anyway) that the power dynamic between the two roommates was completely skewed even without the gay factor. Ravi was rich, confident, popular, and outgoing, and Tyler was working-class, shy, awkward, and depressed. In this particular case I don't know if Tyler would have been any more likely to call Ravi out if Tyler had been with a woman. Ravi actually seemed to scorn Tyler much more for being poor and uncool than for being gay. And yet, I do think that in some subtle way the fact that Tyler was gay made Ravi feel that much more permitted to invade his privacy. But still, I kind of think Ravi would have done the same thing if Tyler had been with, say, an unattractive or obese girl. Somehow Ravi found a way to look at Tyler as a non-person, like some kind of zoo animal that wouldn't even notice Ravi's utter contempt for him. The irony, of course, is that Tyler was the white Italian-American kid (very much the norm in north Jersey) from a very upper-middle-class town and Ravi was the first generation immigrant with a foreign-sounding name and brown skin. I wonder if that had anything to do with Ravi's desperate desire to fit in and his desperate fear of being associated with someone outside of the mainstream social circle. I have such mixed feelings about all of this.

[Anonymous]

What if he goes to prison and involuntarily becomes someone's new boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I think you have to consider how lots of Indian males are raised. They are the apple of their parents’ eye -- I know all kids are -- but many Indian boys are raised believing that they are so super special that they can do no wrong. It breeds an arrogance that leads many to believe they can say or do anything to anyone and get away with it because they are so smart and so special and the other person is nothing because they are unattractive, poor, whatever; I mean even his HS ‘friends’ came out in the New Yorker article saying that he acted like a d!ck most of the time. In terms of strictness at home -- there is strictness about being smart, picking a good profession, being a good student (which he wasn’t with a 2.8 HS gpa according to one article) but there is far less emphasis on being a good human. The values that are ordinarily taught -- such as respect others even if you don’t like their lifestyles/choices, respect everyone regardless of if they’re richer or poorer etc. -- tend to get lost when the parents are constantly validating their sons, ignoring behavior and treatment of others and only harping on academic issues. Being the oldest son and it seems the oldest kid in the extended family/friends circle who had every tech toy he wanted, drove himself to school in a Mercedes etc., I have to imagine that his upbringing played a huge role here. In terms of taking a plea, regardless of deportation issues, I have to imagine he and his family didn’t consider it even with assurances that he’d have state protection against deportation proceedings because they couldn’t conceive that anyone could find him guilty -- ignoring the fact that there is huge sensitivity to issues that indicate even the slightest amount of bullying.

[Anonymous]

2:57, I disagree. It is hard for parents to pick up on subtle screw ups in their kids personalities. Ravi's insecurities were not blaring by the time he left for college. To be honest, I now have some things to tell my kids. I can't assume they will "get it", I have to tell them what they should never do. His parents would have definitely tried to stop that craziness if they had known what he was up to, especially considering the legal implications.

[Anonymous]

So the lesson re Casey Anthony, Amanda Knox, George Hugely and this guy is that they were all arrogant assholes raised that way by their equally arrogant asshole parents? I guess Ravi figured he'd get off just like the others. Boy was he wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to consider how lots of Indian males are raised. They are the apple of their parents’ eye -- I know all kids are -- but many Indian boys are raised believing that they are so super special that they can do no wrong. It breeds an arrogance that leads many to believe they can say or do anything to anyone and get away with it because they are so smart and so special and the other person is nothing because they are unattractive, poor, whatever; I mean even his HS ‘friends’ came out in the New Yorker article saying that he acted like a d!ck most of the time. In terms of strictness at home -- there is strictness about being smart, picking a good profession, being a good student (which he wasn’t with a 2.8 HS gpa according to one article) but there is far less emphasis on being a good human. The values that are ordinarily taught -- such as respect others even if you don’t like their lifestyles/choices, respect everyone regardless of if they’re richer or poorer etc. -- tend to get lost when the parents are constantly validating their sons, ignoring behavior and treatment of others and only harping on academic issues. Being the oldest son and it seems the oldest kid in the extended family/friends circle who had every tech toy he wanted, drove himself to school in a Mercedes etc., I have to imagine that his upbringing played a huge role here. In terms of taking a plea, regardless of deportation issues, I have to imagine he and his family didn’t consider it even with assurances that he’d have state protection against deportation proceedings because they couldn’t conceive that anyone could find him guilty -- ignoring the fact that there is huge sensitivity to issues that indicate even the slightest amount of bullying.

If this is true this sends an excellent signal to the parents of all these little d---- in the making. Actually, I imagine this is a pervasive problem in a lot of families, regardless of culture, and it ends up biting them in the ass sooner or later.

[Anonymous]

Let's all take something from this. We all have to assume that our kids DO NOT know right from wrong in this high tech world. We have to teach them. We also have to counsel our gay (also straight) children as they go off to college about sexual behavior, which can be misinterpreted or considered strange by others. We need to remind our kids to respect others in every way. Damn, either one of these young men could have been my son.

[Anonymous]

Aren't the Millenials supposed to be open minded, liberal and accepting and inclusive of everyone? See this is just another of the public persona BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to consider how lots of Indian males are raised. They are the apple of their parents’ eye -- I know all kids are -- but many Indian boys are raised believing that they are so super special that they can do no wrong. It breeds an arrogance that leads many to believe they can say or do anything to anyone and get away with it because they are so smart and so special and the other person is nothing because they are unattractive, poor, whatever; I mean even his HS ‘friends’ came out in the New Yorker article saying that he acted like a d!ck most of the time. In terms of strictness at home -- there is strictness about being smart, picking a good profession, being a good student (which he wasn’t with a 2.8 HS gpa according to one article) but there is far less emphasis on being a good human. The values that are ordinarily taught -- such as respect others even if you don’t like their lifestyles/choices, respect everyone regardless of if they’re richer or poorer etc. -- tend to get lost when the parents are constantly validating their sons, ignoring behavior and treatment of others and only harping on academic issues. Being the oldest son and it seems the oldest kid in the extended family/friends circle who had every tech toy he wanted, drove himself to school in a Mercedes etc., I have to imagine that his upbringing played a huge role here. In terms of taking a plea, regardless of deportation issues, I have to imagine he and his family didn’t consider it even with assurances that he’d have state protection against deportation proceedings because they couldn’t conceive that anyone could find him guilty -- ignoring the fact that there is huge sensitivity to issues that indicate even the slightest amount of bullying.

FYI when Ravi was offered the plea deal the authorities specifically said they could NOT guarantee that he wouldn't be deported. This appears to be a major reason why he didn't take the deal. But in any case, I absolutely blame Ravi's parents for raising him to be such a prick. But I don't necessarily blame his cultural/ethnic group. I know many, many Indian men raised by Indian parents and the vast majority of them are nice enough people. Certainly none of them are like Ravi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like many Americans, I believe that gay sex is deviant, disgusting and immoral. I think gay "marriange" goes against many thousands of years of human social interaction and is ridiculous. My religion teaches that homosexual acts are a sin. I hate the sin, but don't hate the sinner.

Have I committed a hate crime when I express my view?

No, you're just a bigot. I am uncomfortable with this move towards making select crimes "hate" crimes. But that doesn't make you any less of a bigot.

[Anonymous]

Ravi's upbringing may have had something to do with what he did, but blaming his parents for what he did doesn't make sense to me. He's a grown up, he's responsible for what he did.

By the same token, my parents, who raised me in a violent and abusive home, don't get credit because I'm neither violent nor abusive. As an adult I'm 100% responsible for being a constructive member of my community - if I weren't, I'd be entirely responsible for that, too.

[Anonymous]

Ravi had JUST left home as a "grown up", so the upbringing does play a part. I am not too happy about the Indian stereotypes from previous posters.
Anyway, we might have a child capable of doing what Ravi did, we won't know until...

[Anonymous]

The older boyfriend must have had a place where they could have gone and done it
And the man jumped off the bridge because the older boyfriend dumped him

The viewing Ravi arranged was so public everybody knew. He must have known about it.
But his exhibitionist tendencies took the best of him.