Hosts expecting you to chip in for their party

[Anonymous]

It never ceases to astound me that people pull crap like this. I love to give parties at my house. The one I give annually is a holiday party. I just want peopel to come and have a good time. I spend weeks before cooking and baking for the party. (I have a second freezer) My husband likes us to have an open bar so people can mix their own drinks, plus we have beer, wine, soda. I serve lots of food. I buy a couple of trays, plus I make lasagna, chicken pot pie and usually two other entrees/meat. I also have fruit, salad, cheese & crackers, chips & dip, etc. as well as a buffet of dessert stuff that I made. When I am hosting a party and would never think to ask anyone to bring anything. It does cost a bit, but I save for it and it is one of my favorite things I do all year. (It actually annoys me when people show up with dishes b/c I've already planned the menu and I don't want to have to make sure a dish gets back to the owner, but I do put it out) Seriously boggles the mind where people get their ideas. The only borderline thing I do when people ask me what they can bring and I first tell them just themselves and whatever friends/spouses/kids they care to bring, they say no I won't walk in empty handed, I then tell them booze to share with the crowd. I figure they can choose whether they want to bring wine, beer or something harder.
I don't think that is rude, but I could be wrong about that.

I would never go to a party where I was asked to chip in $ unless it was specifically billed as a fundraiser for a charity. Fortunately, I don't have friends who do Pampered Chef or sell whatever crap parties.

Who are these people? I refuse to believe that there are so many that were raised with such horrible manners.

[Anonymous]

Wow, there are some seriously cheap people out there!

OP, I wouldn't have attended the event either. $40 isn't chunk change to me!

What about birthday parties? I received an invitation to a child's 7th birthday party, and on it it said 'x is registered at' I have NEVER received a gift registry for a birthday party, so I was pretty floored. To be honest though, I have received registries for baby shower and weddings, but I didn't think until that point that birthdays had now become a part of the registry as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got one.

DH out with several coworker, some he knows well, others he doesn't. It's a group thing. DH drinks 3 beers, his friend has a soda, while the others order bottles of liquor. When the bill comes it is announced that the bill is going to be split by everyone who attended the gathering equally.


Is the guys drinking soda really supposed to give $30?

As someone who doesn't drink, I almost always offer to split evenly -- even though I had the $3 diet coke. The only time I wouldn't is if everyone had a LOT to drink -- like more than 1-2 per person. However, because my friends and my co workers aren't like those mentioned here, I can only think of maybe 1-2 times where they have actually let me split the bill; those times, I didn't care because I like these people and was happy to be able to buy them a drink -- if it was a regular thing, obviously I'd get annoyed. Usually I hear "all you had was a soda, you're not paying $30."

[Anonymous]

If someone invited me out to dinner (like a PP's husband's "mentor") and then tried to get me to pay I would not hesitate to say, "What, you said you wanted to take me out to dinner!?!" in a jovial voice and then shut my mouth and say nothing further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a co-worker who has a summer cook out every year and asks guests to bring their own meat to grill. I think it's super tacky and we have declined to go for this reason. My opinion is if you can't afford to feed all of your guests, cut down on the guest list or don't have a party.

I have friends who do this in another state, but a lot of people there hunt, so it's fun to see what people end up bringing and sharing (elk sausage, anyone?) I have no problem with this example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got one.

DH out with several coworker, some he knows well, others he doesn't. It's a group thing. DH drinks 3 beers, his friend has a soda, while the others order bottles of liquor. When the bill comes it is announced that the bill is going to be split by everyone who attended the gathering equally.


Is the guys drinking soda really supposed to give $30?

I don't like this either. And most of the time, you don't want to feel cheap and petty, so you end up doing it.

This used to happen to me when I went out with friends who favored $12 martinis.

I would say "Oh, here, let me give you $5 for my [one] diet coke. Sorry, gotta run!" Then bolt, like you never heard the "chip in" equally suggestion. It gets a lot more awkward when it is a dinner with lots of wine and drinks and you ordered conservatively. Now that I have 2 kids, I just say, "hey guys, can we all just contribute what we owe? I gotta put 2 kids in college." I don't care if I come across as cheap. I used to, but that was before I had kids to think about. When push comes to shove, my family budget comes first. (Or I will just stay home.)

Yeah, this says more about the cheapness of those who are eating/drinking a ton and then want to split the bill than about the person who got the diet coke.