Outplacement directors that speak in code or total silence; can anyone translate ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I wonder if the OP emailed on a Friday at 5:00 and didn't get a response until Sunday or Monday.

No actually. I am the OP and I call that a weekend. I think normal turn around time should be 24-48 hrs in a work week. I waited two weeks for a response, then sent another email, which was responded do , but vaguely. A month later I sent an email asking a different question. One week and half has gone by and no response. This last question is a time sensitive matter.

Okay, thanks for the facts. In that case, you should go to the head of school and that person should be fired. (After placement is concluded.) Unless you have previously bombarded the OD with previous calls and you are a nutcase, which I have no reason to believe you are, he should have absolutely returned your calls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's what's funny. I'm 22:06 but didn't post any of the other four messages you've cited. I think there are at least 3 different people questioning the rationality/judgment of the some of the posters on this thread. And, no doubt, the number grows as the responses get more and more unhinged.

No one ever argued for "full and implicit" trust or that it's fine not to return emails. Concrete advice re how to deal with someone who doesn't return emails was offered in one of the posts that also argued that it's worth listening to and taking seriously the advice that you get from ODs.
The non-responsive OD in this thread clearly did give advice according to the OP -- i.e. consider this other school as well.

Any of you can, of course, choose to run to DCUM (or your school's head) and bitch about the OD and how it's all backroom deals and WTF do these people think they are and how your child's hopes are being crushed. But what some of us have been saying is that egging each other on in this way is likely to be counterproductive and that there are more adult alternatives available (ranging from speak to the OD directly and start from the assumption that you're on the same team, to politely go it alone, to look more closely at the other school(s) being suggested and consider applying to both (or even asking why the OD recommended it and how it compares to the one you were already looking at for your kid -- that is, what would be the pros and cons if you had both options.

When you say that we should all start from the assumption that we and the ODs are on the same team, you are saying the same thing S the rest of us. You even seem to acknowledge that some ODs aren't working for OP's interests, altho if I read you correctly, it's because OP's OD is a rare bad actor rather than working off a different agenda.

But then you start in with the insults again - people are "unhinged" and "egging each other on" and their only strategy is to "whine to the head." I don't see this in any of the previous posts, and frankly you're making this stuff up. I see several credible testimonies on the first few pages of this thread, which I have no reason to doubt. Nobody is fabricating conspiracy theories (and I'm losing track of the number of insults), instead I've seen helpful advice to work with your OD but use your own judgment and common sense - which you claim to agree with, but then you start insulting people again. You seem to think you're a witty writer, but because lots of us know from witty writing, just undermine yourself with ad hominem attacks instead of arguments- or maybe you're just super-defensive. If you really want to see this thread die, the smart thing would be to stop posting your insults and just let this thread slip to the next page of this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I waited two weeks for a response, then sent another email, which was responded do , but vaguely. A month later I sent an email asking a different question. One week and half has gone by and no response. This last question is a time sensitive matter.

Okay, thanks for the facts. In that case, you should go to the head of school and that person should be fired. (After placement is concluded.) Unless you have previously bombarded the OD with previous calls and you are a nutcase, which I have no reason to believe you are, he should have absolutely returned your calls.

Wow, that's really all you'd need to know? (e.g. not what the messages said) and you think that telling that Head some time next spring that, back in the fall, there were two occasions on which it took two weeks and two tries to get a response from the OD will and should get the OD fired? And you can't think of other ways of handling the situation NOW, when the OP and her kid could benefit from a better working relationship with the OD?

[Anonymous]

I repeat my view that there's a lot of unwarranted paranoia on this thread. And the people spreading this paranoia do not react well when you disagree with their worldview.

Here are a few examples of conspiracy theories on this thread, claiming admissions are about money and back-room deals between schools, rather than merit of students (all from the first page, and perhaps only from 1 or 2 people expanding/repeating the same theory):

1. We felt ignored by our exmissions person, as well. ... I think the problems for us may have been that (a) we weren't lifers - we entered after K or 1st, (b) we weren't in a position to donate major bucks, and (c) we didn't volunteer as much, or at least as obviously, as some of the other families. ... I'd love to do a study about whether or not volunteering in a way that gets you face time with the AD and head is an advantage in exmissions

2. ... if Beauvoir has 4 such candidates and one set of parents is a PITA and another set of parents are major donors with other kids potentially in the pipeline, I could certainly see them being more interested in family B getting the exmission result of their dreams than family A. And it can be rationalized as a sort of victimless crime (or even a blessing in disguise) if the decisionmaker is pretty confident that the daughter in family A will do just as well (or better) in a school that isn't her parents' first choice.

3. Your current school has several opportunities to talk to the schools your kid is applying to. ... they talk enthusiastically about ... what some families are going to contribute (in money and/or volunteering) to the next school "family." And maybe their faces don't light up quite as much, or at least they give less airtime, for some other kids.


And here are a few examples of how the conspiracy theorists have responded when someone questions them:

1. you're a school administrator yourself
2. Talk about drinking the koolaid, that poster drank a bucket if she believes her airy-fairy post
3. You ... are a one-woman wall of jerkiness
4. you're a sock puppet from an OD's office
5. you're just super-defensive


I think 9:17 has the most helpful post so far.

[Anonymous]

11:10 again. BTW, no one here has cited any evidence supporting these theories of how ODs work. So they actually are more accurately termed "hypotheses" rather than theories.

[Anonymous]

This is a discussion thread, not a trial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a discussion thread, not a trial.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I
And here are a few examples of how the conspiracy theorists have responded when someone questions them:

1. you're a school administrator yourself
2. Talk about drinking the koolaid, that poster drank a bucket if she believes her airy-fairy post
3. You ... are a one-woman wall of jerkiness
4. you're a sock puppet from an OD's office
5. you're just super-defensive


I think 9:17 has the most helpful post so far.

Did you mean 9:17 or the post 9:17 quoted (7:44)? I ask because you seemed to be rebutting 9:17, among others (e.g. "you're just super-defensive" was a quote from that post).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you mean 9:17 or the post 9:17 quoted (7:44)? I ask because you seemed to be rebutting 9:17, among others (e.g. "you're just super-defensive" was a quote from that post).

You're right; I got it wrong. I meant the person 9:17 was quoting (7:44). Sorry to create confusion in an already confusing thread.

[Anonymous]

11:59 again. To be clear, here's the post I really like:

No one ever argued for "full and implicit" trust or that it's fine not to return emails. Concrete advice re how to deal with someone who doesn't return emails was offered in one of the posts that also argued that it's worth listening to and taking seriously the advice that you get from ODs. The non-responsive OD in this thread clearly did give advice according to the OP -- i.e. consider this other school as well.

Any of you can, of course, choose to run to DCUM (or your school's head) and bitch about the OD and how it's all backroom deals and WTF do these people think they are and how your child's hopes are being crushed. But what some of us have been saying is that egging each other on in this way is likely to be counterproductive and that there are more adult alternatives available (ranging from speak to the OD directly and start from the assumption that you're on the same team, to politely go it alone, to look more closely at the other school(s) being suggested and consider applying to both (or even asking why the OD recommended it and how it compares to the one you were already looking at for your kid -- that is, what would be the pros and cons if you had both options.

That's solid advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I waited two weeks for a response, then sent another email, which was responded do , but vaguely. A month later I sent an email asking a different question. One week and half has gone by and no response. This last question is a time sensitive matter.

Okay, thanks for the facts. In that case, you should go to the head of school and that person should be fired. (After placement is concluded.) Unless you have previously bombarded the OD with previous calls and you are a nutcase, which I have no reason to believe you are, he should have absolutely returned your calls.

Wow, that's really all you'd need to know? (e.g. not what the messages said) and you think that telling that Head some time next spring that, back in the fall, there were two occasions on which it took two weeks and two tries to get a response from the OD will and should get the OD fired? And you can't think of other ways of handling the situation NOW, when the OP and her kid could benefit from a better working relationship with the OD?

Yep. I'd take it in to my own hands like a PP did.

[Anonymous]

Ah, but that's different. What you're saying is that if you had to wait and nag to get a(n ultimately unhelpful) response on one email, and then thought you saw the same pattern shaping up on email #2, you'd give up on the person. Fair enough. But you'd know what you'd written and you'd also have a sense of whom you'd written to.

But when an anonymous poster gives you this scenario with zero content, (and lays out an 8 week saga that apparently has transpired by mid-October), your response is "go to the Head of the School (months from now) and have the person fired"? To me, that seems ill-advised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I waited two weeks for a response, then sent another email, which was responded do , but vaguely. A month later I sent an email asking a different question. One week and half has gone by and no response. This last question is a time sensitive matter.

Okay, thanks for the facts. In that case, you should go to the head of school and that person should be fired. (After placement is concluded.) Unless you have previously bombarded the OD with previous calls and you are a nutcase, which I have no reason to believe you are, he should have absolutely returned your calls.

Wow, that's really all you'd need to know? (e.g. not what the messages said) and you think that telling that Head some time next spring that, back in the fall, there were two occasions on which it took two weeks and two tries to get a response from the OD will and should get the OD fired? And you can't think of other ways of handling the situation NOW, when the OP and her kid could benefit from a better working relationship with the OD?

Don't think OD should be fired, but am concerned that he is actually doing what she's been told.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:10 again. BTW, no one here has cited any evidence supporting these theories of how ODs work. So they actually are more accurately termed "hypotheses" rather than theories.

Multiple PP's only evidence is their experience as parents with multiple children having gone through the process for multiple years stretching over maybe a decade. Add to that, what their closest 10 friends at the school shared about what happened in their process. Add to that the fact that most of us are forty somethings who have been in the real world working for 30 years or so and know the way things work particularly in Washington. And before someone says it, I'll add : where public school is not an option.

[Anonymous]

But in this case, it's terrible customer service. I agree that it's in their best interest to step back and really listen to what they're being told, but he should still return their calls.