Outplacement directors that speak in code or total silence; can anyone translate ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. I am not an administrator, just another parent like you. My "level of paranoia" post was my very first one on this thread, so I'm not switching sides on anything.

Once again: instead attacking other posters by calling them "paranoid" and cherry picking from other posts, why don't you explain why you think we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors. Why the treatment OP is getting is OK and normal.

Have at it, please! It would actually be very interesting. It would contribute to the discussion. I'm actually looking forward to hearing some substantive points.

First you show me where I said "we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors". Have at it, please.

[Anonymous]

That's your answer? Using underscores with the quotes doesn't help, it just makes you look sort of redundant. Like your insults, I guess.

Why the heck have you come out swinging against any criticism of ODs? To the point where you accuse OP, several times, of having bad judgment because, somehow, way back in kindergarten, OP didn't see this coming.

Look, several PPs have pointed out that sometimes ODs have their own agendas. And sometimes they are rude.

The difference between these PPs and you is, most of these PPs who say that ODs are fallible are also willing to agree that ODs can provide valuable info. They only qualify this by saying you have to take ODs' advice with a grain of salt and use your own judgement. You, on the other hand, are a one-woman wall of jerkiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

First you show me where I said "we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors". Have at it, please.

Here's the full quote, which you amputated: "why don't you explain why you think we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors. Why the treatment OP is getting is OK and normal."

We're all waiting for your explanation of why OP's school is treating her badly, because her exmissions folks can do no wrong. Fingers tapping....

[Anonymous]

I'm starting to feel really sorry for the folks who do exmissions if this is what they're already dealing with in mid-October.

[Anonymous]

I agree. I wonder if the OP emailed on a Friday at 5:00 and didn't get a response until Sunday or Monday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. I am not an administrator, just another parent like you. My "level of paranoia" post was my very first one on this thread, so I'm not switching sides on anything.

Once again: instead attacking other posters by calling them "paranoid" and cherry picking from other posts, why don't you explain why you think we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors. Why the treatment OP is getting is OK and normal.

Have at it, please! It would actually be very interesting. It would contribute to the discussion. I'm actually looking forward to hearing some substantive points.

First you show me where I said "we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors". Have at it, please.

Thanks above poster. You are probably the only person on DCUM that I have ever seen so succinctly cut through the BS most people post on here, which is simply abusive bullying and not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I wonder if the OP emailed on a Friday at 5:00 and didn't get a response until Sunday or Monday.

No actually. I am the OP and I call that a weekend. I think normal turn around time should be 24-48 hrs in a work week. I waited two weeks for a response, then sent another email, which was responded do , but vaguely. A month later I sent an email asking a different question. One week and half has gone by and no response. This last question is a time sensitive matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. If the outplacement process you are referring to is Beauvoir's, I was a "renegade" parent and decided to file apps for my DC without the director. However, it was the previous one (red head, we can't use names here). For some reason, she had a strange reaction to me over the phone the summer before the start of 3rd grade. I called her to confirm my initial appt and she was not only dismissive, but a real bitch. Right then, I decided not to trust her and go it alone. DC was ultimately accepted at each of the schools where we applied. The admission directors at each school knew we were a Beauvoir family and apparently just added my DC's app in with the others. I was very charming, courteous, and laid back in my communications with admission team members. I made sure that the application statements that I wrote describing our DC were completely honest. Everyone was extremely helpful, not one asked me why I wasn't applying through the OD. I'm sure OD was miffed as to how my DC's app was already in the mix each time she visited a school to promote Beauvoir apps.

Surprisingly, when December of our app year rolled around and OD contacted the families applying to Cathedral schools with feedback from their admission directors, she called me all cheery talking about my DC and that it looked really good. Ugh!


That is interesting, but how did you get the recs from the teachers and the ERB scores sent over going it alone ? Thanks I am also curious about when things should be sent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I wonder if the OP emailed on a Friday at 5:00 and didn't get a response until Sunday or Monday.

No actually. I am the OP and I call that a weekend. I think normal turn around time should be 24-48 hrs in a work week. I waited two weeks for a response, then sent another email, which was responded do , but vaguely. A month later I sent an email asking a different question. One week and half has gone by and no response. This last question is a time sensitive matter. These are the only two emails I've sent since our summer meeting. I don't know that that is "needy" But what is the norm out there. Anyone? This person has my child's files and will be the face that AD's see marketing my DD is two emails in four months being demanding on the OD's time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

First you show me where I said "we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors". Have at it, please.

Here's the full quote, which you amputated: "why don't you explain why you think we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors. Why the treatment OP is getting is OK and normal."

We're all waiting for your explanation of why OP's school is treating her badly, because her exmissions folks can do no wrong. Fingers tapping....

"Fingers tapping"?!? Give me a break. You need to get over yourself.

First you tell me I argued for "full and implicit trust" of ODs, and now you're telling me I think ODs "can do no wrong." You're badly wrong on both counts. My only comment on this thread so far has been that many people here are being paranoid. You are clearly one of them.

If this is how you act IRL, I can easily diagnose why ODs aren't promptly returning your messages, and why your child might be facing admissions difficulties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. I am not an administrator, just another parent like you. My "level of paranoia" post was my very first one on this thread, so I'm not switching sides on anything.

Once again: instead attacking other posters by calling them "paranoid" and cherry picking from other posts, why don't you explain why you think we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors. Why the treatment OP is getting is OK and normal.

Have at it, please! It would actually be very interesting. It would contribute to the discussion. I'm actually looking forward to hearing some substantive points.

First you show me where I said "we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors". Have at it, please.

Thanks above poster. You are probably the only person on DCUM that I have ever seen so succinctly cut through the BS most people post on here, which is simply abusive bullying and not helpful.

Seriously? You think that was a helpful response? Worse, you think all the bullying and insults from the defenders of the ODs was useful to anybody, at all? Moreover, OP seemed to have acted very reasonably. Yet you and your buddy here are ignoring everything she says, and concentrating on insulting everybody else here.

Your POV is seriously distorted. Plus, you are abusive. Stop calling everybody else paranoid, and offer up something useful - otherwise, don't be surprised if everybody here thinks you are OD yourself.

[Anonymous]

21:38, 22:06, 22:31, 23:28, 6:07 -

Please show us where you've posted a single thing that (a) wasn't an insult or (b) is helpful to OP.

You sure are creating the impression that you're a sock puppet. People could even be forgiven for thinking you're a sock puppet from an OD's office.

[Anonymous]

6:56 - heh, you do know she's going to come right back on here and post "I'm a parent and you're paranoid!!!" no matter what she does IRL. The level of defensiveness in her posts is about 9 or 10 on the scale of 10, though, it's funny.

[Anonymous]

7:00 again - just let her fill up the thread with 5 more posts about how we're all paranoid. It doesn't matter.

I think the message has gotten through to most readers: work with your ODs, yet as OP's situation shows, you need to be aware that sometimes they have their own agendas, and sometimes they are working 100% for you, and you just need to be aware.

[Anonymous]

Here's what's funny. I'm 22:06 but didn't post any of the other four messages you've cited. I think there are at least 3 different people questioning the rationality/judgment of the some of the posters on this thread. And, no doubt, the number grows as the responses get more and more unhinged.

No one ever argued for "full and implicit" trust or that it's fine not to return emails. Concrete advice re how to deal with someone who doesn't return emails was offered in one of the posts that also argued that it's worth listening to and taking seriously the advice that you get from ODs.
The non-responsive OD in this thread clearly did give advice according to the OP -- i.e. consider this other school as well.

Any of you can, of course, choose to run to DCUM (or your school's head) and bitch about the OD and how it's all backroom deals and WTF do these people think they are and how your child's hopes are being crushed. But what some of us have been saying is that egging each other on in this way is likely to be counterproductive and that there are more adult alternatives available (ranging from speak to the OD directly and start from the assumption that you're on the same team, to politely go it alone, to look more closely at the other school(s) being suggested and consider applying to both (or even asking why the OD recommended it and how it compares to the one you were already looking at for your kid -- that is, what would be the pros and cons if you had both options.)

Seriously, how hard is this?