Outplacement directors that speak in code or total silence; can anyone translate ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I waited two weeks for a response, then sent another email, which was responded do , but vaguely. A month later I sent an email asking a different question. One week and half has gone by and no response. This last question is a time sensitive matter.

Okay, thanks for the facts. In that case, you should go to the head of school and that person should be fired. (After placement is concluded.) Unless you have previously bombarded the OD with previous calls and you are a nutcase, which I have no reason to believe you are, he should have absolutely returned your calls.

Wow, that's really all you'd need to know? (e.g. not what the messages said) and you think that telling that Head some time next spring that, back in the fall, there were two occasions on which it took two weeks and two tries to get a response from the OD will and should get the OD fired? And you can't think of other ways of handling the situation NOW, when the OP and her kid could benefit from a better working relationship with the OD?

No one at the school in question goes off the reservation so to speak. Doubt that OD is doing anything other that what she has been told.

[Anonymous]

11:10/12:02, I'm glad you found a post you really like. Good for you, really. But the problem here is that lots of us disagree with that post. Why is it so hard for you to accept this disagreement without calling people "paranoid" and "conspiracy theorists?"

For example: your list of so-called "conspiracy theories" is actually a good summary of some valid points and personal accounts that other posters have made. It's too bad you've written these off. Others, like me, find them pretty compelling.

Another example: your list of insults directed at you seems much, much shorter than any list someone could put together in five minutes of insults you've directed at other people.

Bottom line -- there seem to be a number of people with personal stories and interpretations that contradict your position. There's no need to insult other PPs and call them paranoid or conspiracy theorists. Since you obviously always have to have the last word, I'm sure you'll come back with some more mean words. But again, you can't win an argument with insults.

This is a discussion, not a war where you need to slay the enemy with insults. Why not engage, and start by accepting that somebody besides you may have a perfectly valid POV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:10 again. BTW, no one here has cited any evidence supporting these theories of how ODs work. So they actually are more accurately termed "hypotheses" rather than theories.

Multiple PP's only evidence is their experience as parents with multiple children having gone through the process for multiple years stretching over maybe a decade. Add to that, what their closest 10 friends at the school shared about what happened in their process. Add to that the fact that most of us are forty somethings who have been in the real world working for 30 years or so and know the way things work particularly in Washington. And before someone says it, I'll add : where public school is not an option.

But if I (and the several posters who agree with me) also meet all those exact same criteria, then why isn't our opposing view equally valid? Perhaps you confuse me with some new parent. This isn't my first rodeo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another example: your list of insults directed at you seems much, much shorter than any list someone could put together in five minutes of insults you've directed at other people.

Bottom line -- there seem to be a number of people with personal stories and interpretations that contradict your position. There's no need to insult other PPs and call them paranoid or conspiracy theorists. Since you obviously always have to have the last word, I'm sure you'll come back with some more mean words. But again, you can't win an argument with insults.

Great. Why don't you take 5 minutes and compile a list of the insults you think I've directed at you? It's pretty obvious to me you have no idea which posts are mine, and you don't realize that several people disagree with you.

I'm getting pretty tired of how you keep trying to claim the role of oppressed victim here. So put up or shut up. Please catalog my many insults.

[Anonymous]

Who's on first?

[Anonymous]

There should be a new forum: "People Who Want to Argue"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:10 again. BTW, no one here has cited any evidence supporting these theories of how ODs work. So they actually are more accurately termed "hypotheses" rather than theories.

Multiple PP's only evidence is their experience as parents with multiple children having gone through the process for multiple years stretching over maybe a decade. Add to that, what their closest 10 friends at the school shared about what happened in their process. Add to that the fact that most of us are forty somethings who have been in the real world working for 30 years or so and know the way things work particularly in Washington. And before someone says it, I'll add : where public school is not an option.

Another poster gave her favorite post -- but this is the post that makes a lot of sense to me. Lots of us have gone through this process, so we're not just talking "hypotheses," we're talking actual experience. I wonder if the OD-Defender has actually been through the process herself?

A good parallel is the outplacement process for colleges. DCUM has a thread every few months where (almost) all posters seem to agree that ODs provide mixed advice to kids and tag certain kids for certain schools. It wouldn't be surprising if the same processes are at work for K-6 outplacements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Great. Why don't you take 5 minutes and compile a list of the insults you think I've directed at you? It's pretty obvious to me you have no idea which posts are mine, and you don't realize that several people disagree with you.

I'm getting pretty tired of how you keep trying to claim the role of oppressed victim here. So put up or shut up. Please catalog my many insults.

Oh, what a wonderful idea. Because everybody has the time that you have to put into an argument, and because everybody else is a dog with a bone, just like you. I'm not going to waste my time. Your many insults speak for themselves and can be seen easily -- oh so easily -- by anybody who looks at your posts for the past several pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There should be a new forum: "People Who Want to Argue"

How about, "People Who Have to Have the Last Word"? Or "Dogs With Bones"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another example: your list of insults directed at you seems much, much shorter than any list someone could put together in five minutes of insults you've directed at other people ....

Great. Why don't you take 5 minutes and compile a list of the insults you think I've directed at you? ...

Oh, what a wonderful idea. Because everybody has the time that you have to put into an argument, and because everybody else is a dog with a bone, just like you. I'm not going to waste my time. Your many insults speak for themselves and can be seen easily -- oh so easily -- by anybody who looks at your posts for the past several pages.

All hat, no cattle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:10 again. BTW, no one here has cited any evidence supporting these theories of how ODs work. So they actually are more accurately termed "hypotheses" rather than theories.

Multiple PP's only evidence is their experience as parents with multiple children having gone through the process for multiple years stretching over maybe a decade. Add to that, what their closest 10 friends at the school shared about what happened in their process. Add to that the fact that most of us are forty somethings who have been in the real world working for 30 years or so and know the way things work particularly in Washington. And before someone says it, I'll add : where public school is not an option.

But if I (and the several posters who agree with me) also meet all those exact same criteria, then why isn't our opposing view equally valid? Perhaps you confuse me with some new parent. This isn't my first rodeo.

A man who was traveling came upon a farmer working in his field and asked him what the people in the next village were like. The farmer asked "What were the people like in the last village you visited?". The man responded "They were kind, friendly, generous, great people." "You'll find the people in the next village are the same." said the farmer.

Another man who was traveling to the same village came up to the same farmer somewhat later and asked him what the people in the next village were like. Again the farmer asked "What were the people like in the last village you visited?". The second man responded "They were rude, unfriendly, dishonest people.". "You'll find the people in the next village are the same." said the farmer.

[Anonymous]

Thank you thank you thank you, for demonstrating why our decision to not apply to a Big 3 was the correct one.

I know some will say this is "snark" or that we are jealous. Not the case.

My oldest is only 5 so this is not case of being pissed that he didn't get into a Big 3.

Peace to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Except none of this is about the "big 3" because they're all schools that run through high school and thus don't have outplacement directors (other than college counselors).

All this stuff is happening in what should be the warmer fuzzier environments of schools that focus on PreK-3/5/8.

[Anonymous]

Facile parables and ranching metaphors aside, I think the closest analogy is with college exmissions.

DCUM regularly has threads where parents complain that "the college counselor steered my kid away from Harvard but she got in anyway." Or, "in retrospect I wish I hadn't listened to the school's counselor." What follows in these threads is lots of speculation, similar to this thread, about whether private school exmissions folks are in the business of deciding which kids from the school get their support for their Harvard applications, and which kids get steered to a 2nd-tier college instead.

My impression is that on those threads there's more of a consensus that the school ODs are involved in some strategizing. But there's also some pushback about how it's all sour grapes and paranoia. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the same actors from that thread are on this thread.

(FWIW, my kid got into a Big 2 from a K-6, and we haven't done college yet, so it's not paranoia, but I tend to side with the suspicious camp, based on what I've seen in many families at our school.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Facile parables and ranching metaphors aside, I think the closest analogy is with college exmissions.

And that itself is symptomatic of a really screwed-up POV.