What is your deepest family secret?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad is gay. My parents are still married. Kind of hard to explain.

Interesting. Is he openly gay with the family? I can see why they would stay married, it actually makes perfect sense to me. My BF was a gay guy and we considered getting married, I know, complicated, but I met my hetro hubby and that never materialized.

He came out about 10 years ago. It was a huge relief to me and made sense of so many things. I was so relieved all the secrets were finally gone, all the times of wondering what was really going on and why he took so many trips. Yes, the whole immediate family knows.

None of us live in McLean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back in the mid-60's - My sister's twin was not stillborn as my parents always said but rather was born alive. I found this out while investigating our family tree a few years ago. There is no death certificate and no information via the social security db's that he has died for him to this day but there was a birth certificate and it does report him as a live birth.

My parents are dead. My siblings still give the same story - the twin was stilborn. I believe they have no idea this is in fact not true. They have no reason to lie at this point - we have very little family left and none were around back when he was born.

I am guessing he was placed for adoption but have no idead the motivation or reasons. No one in our family has ever been contacted by an unknown adult claiming to be our sibling so I don't think anyone is looking for us.

Or he may have had a serious disability...and was placed in a facility

That was what I though when I read it. I was born in the mid-60s, and growing up I knew a set of identical twins where one was typically developing, and the other had some sort of mental disability due to lack of oxygen at birth.

Unlikely. You will not find this child listed in the SS death database because, in all likelihood, no one ever applied for a SSN for him/her. The correct place to search for a death record would be the Vital Records office of the state where the birth/death occurred. Sometimes these records are limited in access, but you are a direct relative, so you might be able to get it.

As far as a birth certificate being issued for a stillborn, please keep in mind that there are differing defintions for what constitutes stillbirth, and what children are issued birth certificates. This is especially true back in the 1960s. The child could have been issued one even if he/she was truly born dead just because he/she was full term. He/she could have lived for a very short time after birth, and thus been issued a birth certificate, but your family personally considered it a stillbirth at the time, or called it a stillbirth to avoid further hurt to your sister or other family members, especially if they did not collect the body for a burial. (I know one family who, very recently, heartbreakingly lost a set of twins, full term. One was issued a birth certificate, one was not, based on some stupid quirk in how the hospital interpreted the state law, and this really, really upset the parents.) So, you really should not put too much stock in what the birth certificate implies.

Really, truly, I highly doubt that your family is lying about this or you have a sibling stashed somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of my parents spent time in mental institutions. They lied about it to us as children and still don't want anyone to know. It doesn't really bother me or my siblings, but it is clearly their secret, so we don't share it.

A follow up on this. My parents aren't truthful about why they were committed. I'm not sure my siblings necessarily realize, but it wasn't just depression. The facts don't add up.

Are you worried about you or your kids inheriting the predisposition?

[Anonymous]

I was raped in college by my boyfriend when I tried to breakup with him. 9 months later, I slept with him voluntarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That my grandfather was 1/4 black and passed for white. I had to pry it out of my mother...

wow. this is amazing...do you appear AA? Ahhh, sorry, that didn't come out the way I meant it. I just find this fascinating as to how people come to look the way they do...

The PP is 1/16 black. It's very doubtful that s/he looks black.

Personal experience from someone 1/16 black-I have the lips and the muscular build of a black person. I love it. No Botox, and I was a college athlete. Otherwise I am a nice olive color, super dark ash brown hair, bright green eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad is gay. My parents are still married. Kind of hard to explain.

Interesting. Is he openly gay with the family? I can see why they would stay married, it actually makes perfect sense to me. My BF was a gay guy and we considered getting married, I know, complicated, but I met my hetro hubby and that never materialized.

He came out about 10 years ago. It was a huge relief to me and made sense of so many things. I was so relieved all the secrets were finally gone, all the times of wondering what was really going on and why he took so many trips. Yes, the whole immediate family knows.

None of us live in McLean.

I think it is pretty cool your parents are still together. I assume they love each other (like companions of course) and it is probably just comfortable for them to be together. I assume if your mom wanted she could have a relationship as well.

[Anonymous]

Our family owns several major buildings in major metor areas but we don't let people know. We all live well below our means yet we are set for life and could stop working if we wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our family owns several major buildings in major metor areas but we don't let people know. We all live well below our means yet we are set for life and could stop working if we wanted to.

*Metro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raped in college by my boyfriend when I tried to breakup with him. 9 months later, I slept with him voluntarily.

I hope you have since sought and received therapy. Both sides of this coin are equally troubling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our family owns several major buildings in major metor areas but we don't let people know. We all live well below our means yet we are set for life and could stop working if we wanted to.

You actually come off quite smug. I'm just sayin'....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That my grandfather was 1/4 black and passed for white. I had to pry it out of my mother...

wow. this is amazing...do you appear AA? Ahhh, sorry, that didn't come out the way I meant it. I just find this fascinating as to how people come to look the way they do...

The PP is 1/16 black. It's very doubtful that s/he looks black.

Personal experience from someone 1/16 black-I have the lips and the muscular build of a black person. I love it. No Botox, and I was a college athlete. Otherwise I am a nice olive color, super dark ash brown hair, bright green eyes.

You sound very beautiful physically, but it is sad that you believe black people are somehow naturally more muscularly built. My ancestors are German and many of them are built like plow horses, but I am thin, small boned, angular and tall. It has nothing whatever to do with my race, rather just my selected genes. Good grief, the ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raped in college by my boyfriend when I tried to breakup with him. 9 months later, I slept with him voluntarily.

I hope you have since sought and received therapy. Both sides of this coin are equally troubling.

Yes, I went for a while, but I'm not sure there was a problem. It was first love, very strong hormones and emotions on both sides. We are friends to this day.

[Anonymous]

My father was a drug addict and died of AIDS complications. I am a lesbian, but I tell everyone that I plan to get pregnant because I wanted a child. Actually , I was just mad at my girlfriend and had sex with a guy. WOW I am glad I got that out!

[Anonymous]

My great grandmother most likely had a child out of wedlock when she was 16. He was raised as her brother and her parents claim they adopted him from France during a vacation. My great aunt is pretty sure it was her mother's child but not positive because it was never spoke of. The same great grandmother was the illegitimate child of the daughter of a rich Welsh family and the stablehand and was given away for adoption to a family in the town. This wasn't a secret.

I also recently discovered some incest when researching my family tree around the turn of the century. A sister and half brother married and had kids, only they were more closely related than that because their parents had already been cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father was a drug addict and died of AIDS complications. I am a lesbian, but I tell everyone that I plan to get pregnant because I wanted a child. Actually , I was just mad at my girlfriend and had sex with a guy. WOW I am glad I got that out!

Want to do it again?