Why would my ex do this? Mother’s Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one knows what he means but him. Don’t ask him what he means. If he wanted to say something he would.

But still, open your heart and consider it as a gesture of goodwill as any gift from someone is. Don’t be too excited, rather remain coolly polite and continue to keep your distance. Let him keep showing you that he has changed and has become more thoughtful, loving, attentive so that you may be able to reconcile one day.

BARF. Someone who cheated three times on his wife is NOT reconciliation material.

God could say the same thing about us and yet He’s always there waiting to reconcile us to Himself if we choose it. Reconciliation is always possible. Maybe not now, but one day.

+1

Where is the vomit emoji? Reconcile with a selfish loser who cheated on his wife 3 times. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow you're a very unhappy and ungrateful person.

wow you're a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding your chronology.

He ignored mother's day for years while you ere married.

Last year, when your daughter must have been 1, you were already divorced.

Now, your daughter is at most 2, because 3 year olds are all about the presents and you say she's too young to benefit from being involved in gift giving.

Were you expecting him to celebrate mother's day before your only child was born?

OP. DD is 5; I said she was too young to really understand what it is, not that she’s too young to benefit from gift giving. Of course it’s fun for her to pick out gifts for someone else, but it’s not like an older kid where they can understand the holiday and ask dad “why don’t we get mom something?”.

I also seriously doubt he’s doing it for DD’s benefit, as he seems to find parenting overwhelming and isn’t into going above and beyond.

Your first thought here needs to be your five year old even if his isn’t. 5 year olds absolutely understand that this is a day we give moms gifts, and this is a gift from her and dad that people are proposing leaving outside.

Put your kid first, and ask what would be good for her to see. Then suggest that.

+1 and I would model for my child that accepting a trash gift from a trashy person is trash behavior and throw it away. Not all apologies have to be accepted. You don’t have to accept any type of treatment. It’s important for girls to know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you said your daughter is young but maybe he is trying to establish a habit for himself. One of my friends who is divorced believes strongly that it’s important to make a big deal of Mother’s Day and his ex-wife’s birthday because he wants to show his sons how the mother of your children deserves to be acknowledged. It’s not intended to stalk or manipulate in any way, just to model good behavior.

I don’t know OP’s ex so I can’t speak to his motivations, but there are definitely logical reasons that could exist.

OP. I actually do know couples that do this, and I think it’s great for the kids and shows a lot of maturity.

However, I have a hard time believing xH is doing it for those reasons. And even if he was, it feels like a slap in the face - he wants to show our DC how I should be treated after years of cheating (among other things, like not helping out at home or paying bills)? Like a couple presents can undo all of that?

I just don’t want anything to do with him. I’m ignoring his text for now and hoping he drops the issue.

A 5 year old girl is plenty old enough to understand what Mother's day is...from the way OP wrote this initially, I thought her kid was a toddler. You could give him the benefit of the doubt that he's modeling good co-parenting behavior for a kid who is noticing how her parents treat each other.