First wives v second wives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is unnecessary mean to 10-20 year younger second wives, it’s odd.

I think it's a reflection of the demographics. Way more than the normal amount of of bitter, unattractive, older divorced women with no lives are hanging out here.

+1

The recent 22yo stepdaughter thread is proof.

If there's a 22 yo stepdaughter in the picture, the second wife probably isn't that young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is unnecessary mean to 10-20 year younger second wives, it’s odd.

I think it's a reflection of the demographics. Way more than the normal amount of of bitter, unattractive, older divorced women with no lives are hanging out here.

+1

The recent 22yo stepdaughter thread is proof.

If there's a 22 yo stepdaughter in the picture, the second wife probably isn't that young.

Oh nm I see. The poster was the second wife, not the first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second wives usually come in two varieties:

-Younger, not as intelligent or accomplished but give the man the adoration he no longer had in his marriage.

-Approximately the same age, professional/financial equals. The man is looking for a partner.

Wow, you nailed it.

+2

[Anonymous]

No, I have a master's degree. His ex chose to have an affair and be with her AP. I don't understand why women can move on and men cannot. We met years later. They were married for less than 10 years. He's still stuck financially supporting her. We've been married for over 25 years. I am not a second wife, I am his wife. We worked hard to build a life together out of nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to my husband, who was previously married. I don’t think of myself as a “second wife”—I’m his wife now and his partner in life. He has three children from his prior marriage (ages 23, 20, and 19), and together we have three younger kids (6, 3, and 1).

My husband is 54 and I’m 33. We met after he had been divorced for four years, dated for about a year, and have now been married for eight years. His ex-wife and I don’t really resemble each other. I’m also educated and work in the legal field.

Doing what? You're obviously not a lawyer or you would have said so...

+100

I think that was one of our paralegals who think they are a lawyer lol…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to my husband, who was previously married. I don’t think of myself as a “second wife”—I’m his wife now and his partner in life. He has three children from his prior marriage (ages 23, 20, and 19), and together we have three younger kids (6, 3, and 1).

My husband is 54 and I’m 33. We met after he had been divorced for four years, dated for about a year, and have now been married for eight years. His ex-wife and I don’t really resemble each other. I’m also educated and work in the legal field.

Doing what? You're obviously not a lawyer or you would have said so...

+100

I think that was one of our paralegals who think they are a lawyer lol…

He can’t be that wealthy if it makes sense for her to work as a paralegal with 3 little kids at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

Sure, Jan.

I believe there are rare occasions when this happens, who knows maybe her husband is the unicorn. But the data shows that educational outcomes are the strongest predictor of income. Also highly correlated with relationship success and general wellbeing. 4 year college is still a great investment in many ways.

It's not as uncommon as you think. My dad barely graduated high school but started a successful business as a subcontractor and has cleared 7 figures annually since the mid-nineties (I only found out when I was trying to navigate college and financial aid applications), and he's still running his business long past traditional retirement age. If you're willing to learn a trade, take a risk, and you have a strong work ethic and street smarts, you can out-earn most people. There are plenty of business owners around you who do very well, provided they own their own business - your plumber, electrician, autobody shop, painter, mechanic, car wash owner, all the subcontractors on your house, etc.

I understand it happens, but as someone with a PhD in social science I enjoy looking at comprehensive data rather than anecdotes about your dad. And the data on the correlation between educational attainment and income shows a strong correlation, actually until you get a PhD and then it goes back down. Of course there are broke people with lots of education and millionaires who didn't finish high school, but overall you want to go to college and certain types of grad school.

Also, it's increasingly hard for tradespeople who don't have a lot of capital to start a business. Even harder now that private equity and corporate chains are gobbling up everything, like restaurants, auto body shops, car washes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

Sure, Jan.

I believe there are rare occasions when this happens, who knows maybe her husband is the unicorn. But the data shows that educational outcomes are the strongest predictor of income. Also highly correlated with relationship success and general wellbeing. 4 year college is still a great investment in many ways.

It's not as uncommon as you think. My dad barely graduated high school but started a successful business as a subcontractor and has cleared 7 figures annually since the mid-nineties (I only found out when I was trying to navigate college and financial aid applications), and he's still running his business long past traditional retirement age. If you're willing to learn a trade, take a risk, and you have a strong work ethic and street smarts, you can out-earn most people. There are plenty of business owners around you who do very well, provided they own their own business - your plumber, electrician, autobody shop, painter, mechanic, car wash owner, all the subcontractors on your house, etc.

I understand it happens, but as someone with a PhD in social science I enjoy looking at comprehensive data rather than anecdotes about your dad. And the data on the correlation between educational attainment and income shows a strong correlation, actually until you get a PhD and then it goes back down. Of course there are broke people with lots of education and millionaires who didn't finish high school, but overall you want to go to college and certain types of grad school.

Also, it's increasingly hard for tradespeople who don't have a lot of capital to start a business. Even harder now that private equity and corporate chains are gobbling up everything, like restaurants, auto body shops, car washes, etc.

That’s true. We are purposeful about supporting local businesses - wish more people did the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

Sure, Jan.

I believe there are rare occasions when this happens, who knows maybe her husband is the unicorn. But the data shows that educational outcomes are the strongest predictor of income. Also highly correlated with relationship success and general wellbeing. 4 year college is still a great investment in many ways.

It's not as uncommon as you think. My dad barely graduated high school but started a successful business as a subcontractor and has cleared 7 figures annually since the mid-nineties (I only found out when I was trying to navigate college and financial aid applications), and he's still running his business long past traditional retirement age. If you're willing to learn a trade, take a risk, and you have a strong work ethic and street smarts, you can out-earn most people. There are plenty of business owners around you who do very well, provided they own their own business - your plumber, electrician, autobody shop, painter, mechanic, car wash owner, all the subcontractors on your house, etc.

I understand it happens, but as someone with a PhD in social science I enjoy looking at comprehensive data rather than anecdotes about your dad. And the data on the correlation between educational attainment and income shows a strong correlation, actually until you get a PhD and then it goes back down. Of course there are broke people with lots of education and millionaires who didn't finish high school, but overall you want to go to college and certain types of grad school.

Also, it's increasingly hard for tradespeople who don't have a lot of capital to start a business. Even harder now that private equity and corporate chains are gobbling up everything, like restaurants, auto body shops, car washes, etc.

That’s true. We are purposeful about supporting local businesses - wish more people did the same.

Yes, though it's getting harder and harder as Private Equity is aggressively taking over trades --HVAC repair, auto body repair, etc.--and it's often hard to tell who is PE owned and managed or not since they keep the same name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex’s new partner (they are not married) is ten years younger, was barely scraping by financially, did not graduate college, got expelled from high school. She looks a lot like me, however.

Is this typical of second partners? I did not get an advanced degree (ex discouraged me and held me back professionally which is one of the reasons we eventually divorced). I think he wants power over a woman and chose someone more dependent.

I definitely went hotter (though not necessarily younger) for my second wife. Being attracted to someone and being able to be over the long term was important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

what area he is in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is unnecessary mean to 10-20 year younger second wives, it’s odd.

I think it's a reflection of the demographics. Way more than the normal amount of of bitter, unattractive, older divorced women with no lives are hanging out here.

Lol, what is the "normal amount?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is unnecessary mean to 10-20 year younger second wives, it’s odd.

I think it's a reflection of the demographics. Way more than the normal amount of of bitter, unattractive, older divorced women with no lives are hanging out here.

Lol, what is the "normal amount?"

I don't know. But it's definitely less than you see around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Second wives usually come in two varieties:

-Younger, not as intelligent or accomplished but give the man the adoration he no longer had in his marriage.

-Approximately the same age, professional/financial equals. The man is looking for a partner.

My friend married a woman who is a little younger, 5-7 years, than his ex and she's more accomplished professionally and prettier. But they do look very similar and both are quite nice!