First wives v second wives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This forum is unnecessary mean to 10-20 year younger second wives, it’s odd.

Hmm, wonder why?

Oh wait, no I don’t wonder at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to my husband, who was previously married. I don’t think of myself as a “second wife”—I’m his wife now and his partner in life. He has three children from his prior marriage (ages 23, 20, and 19), and together we have three younger kids (6, 3, and 1).

My husband is 54 and I’m 33. We met after he had been divorced for four years, dated for about a year, and have now been married for eight years. His ex-wife and I don’t really resemble each other. I’m also educated and work in the legal field.

Why did you settle for such an old man?

I don’t think he’s a old man. But, I only liked older man, and fell in love with him. He’s very wealthy, too.

He’s going to he an old man in just 10 short years. How do you feel about that?

Have his 20 something kids really thought about what it means that you’re his heir now and not them? I don’t think they have. How do you think that will go?

I’m fine with that. I don’t think 64, or even 74 is old. My father is in his mid 60s, he has no issue dating woman, at all. He’s healthy and active, and isn’t old.

They’re is enough money to go around for everyone. They understand the circumstances, and I would never screw them over. I understand that they’re his children and are very important to him.

Ok so you’re just a smidge delulu then. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what I’ve seen, I think sometimes men go first a younger woman because they need someone who is naive or moldable. Someone who won’t challenge them or question them in the same way that an equivalent aged peer might. It lets them have the upper hand, maintain control/superiority, and feeds their ego.

Outside of celebrity or mega wealth, the younger, hotter person has the upper hand.

This is very true from what I’ve seen, especially after a little time passes and she realizes her worth and power. A confident younger woman holds all the cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to my husband, who was previously married. I don’t think of myself as a “second wife”—I’m his wife now and his partner in life. He has three children from his prior marriage (ages 23, 20, and 19), and together we have three younger kids (6, 3, and 1).

My husband is 54 and I’m 33. We met after he had been divorced for four years, dated for about a year, and have now been married for eight years. His ex-wife and I don’t really resemble each other. I’m also educated and work in the legal field.

Why did you settle for such an old man?

I don’t think he’s an old man. But, I only liked older man, and fell in love with him. He’s very wealthy, too.

I love that these younger women just happen to fall in love with old farts — Oh and by the way he happens to be very wealthy, too as if that’s only incidental. LOL
-Married to hot poor guy three years older than me. Did I make the right choice? I think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move on, OP. Your desperation to put your ex's new partner down is all about you and your insecurity and says nothing about her. It's ugly. Get some therapy if need be.

+million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is unnecessary mean to 10-20 year younger second wives, it’s odd.

I think it's a reflection of the demographics. Way more than the normal amount of of bitter, unattractive, older divorced women with no lives are hanging out here.

I ended up breaking up with my fiancé because she always thought that she is not good enough for me, and I never cared about her thinking at that time but I should have.

[Anonymous]

It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

Sure, Jan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

Sure, Jan.

I believe there are rare occasions when this happens, who knows maybe her husband is the unicorn. But the data shows that educational outcomes are the strongest predictor of income. Also highly correlated with relationship success and general wellbeing. 4 year college is still a great investment in many ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

Sure, Jan.

I believe there are rare occasions when this happens, who knows maybe her husband is the unicorn. But the data shows that educational outcomes are the strongest predictor of income. Also highly correlated with relationship success and general wellbeing. 4 year college is still a great investment in many ways.

It's not as uncommon as you think. My dad barely graduated high school but started a successful business as a subcontractor and has cleared 7 figures annually since the mid-nineties (I only found out when I was trying to navigate college and financial aid applications), and he's still running his business long past traditional retirement age. If you're willing to learn a trade, take a risk, and you have a strong work ethic and street smarts, you can out-earn most people. There are plenty of business owners around you who do very well, provided they own their own business - your plumber, electrician, autobody shop, painter, mechanic, car wash owner, all the subcontractors on your house, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2026, degrees aren’t what they used to be. DH doesn’t have a HS diploma, is unbelievably smart and makes over 900k a year.

Sure, Jan.

I believe there are rare occasions when this happens, who knows maybe her husband is the unicorn. But the data shows that educational outcomes are the strongest predictor of income. Also highly correlated with relationship success and general wellbeing. 4 year college is still a great investment in many ways.

It's not as uncommon as you think. My dad barely graduated high school but started a successful business as a subcontractor and has cleared 7 figures annually since the mid-nineties (I only found out when I was trying to navigate college and financial aid applications), and he's still running his business long past traditional retirement age. If you're willing to learn a trade, take a risk, and you have a strong work ethic and street smarts, you can out-earn most people. There are plenty of business owners around you who do very well, provided they own their own business - your plumber, electrician, autobody shop, painter, mechanic, car wash owner, all the subcontractors on your house, etc.

I understand it happens, but as someone with a PhD in social science I enjoy looking at comprehensive data rather than anecdotes about your dad. And the data on the correlation between educational attainment and income shows a strong correlation, actually until you get a PhD and then it goes back down. Of course there are broke people with lots of education and millionaires who didn't finish high school, but overall you want to go to college and certain types of grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a second wife. Both contributed to their failed marriage. She wanted to be a SAHM, he wanted her to work. She went back to school once kids were school aged, got a job, decided she didn’t like working and quit. He left. I met him 3 years later. I make more than him. For the first 6 years of our marriage until his youngest turned 18, 66% of his paycheck went to her.

Why did you settle for him, then? Obviously, you could've done so much better.

If she could then she would have

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbor traded up if you measure by youth (15 years younger), physical attraction (she's much prettier than the first wife was even at her prime), level of education, family money, or finances. The real head scratcher is why the second wife went for him. He is a high earner, fit and charming, but she's the whole package and didn't need to settle for a divorced dad.

If she didn’t have to then she wouldn’t have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a first wife versus a second wife thing. But I do think there are some men that just want to feel superior over their wives. Have more prestigious jobs, make more money, feel like they are “taking care” of a woman. Either bragging to their friends that their wife doesn’t have to work, or if she does, that despite her “work,” he is the one actually making the money for the family.

There’s nothing wrong with that. This is actually natural and beneficial for intact families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbor traded up if you measure by youth (15 years younger), physical attraction (she's much prettier than the first wife was even at her prime), level of education, family money, or finances. The real head scratcher is why the second wife went for him. He is a high earner, fit and charming, but she's the whole package and didn't need to settle for a divorced dad.

Chemistry. It’s a mysterious thing.