BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is no.
An adult getting married should factor that cost .. Less you and your home.

Eww

Can you explain why this is a problem? I really don’t get it and it seems I’m not the only one on this thread.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds wildly uptight and like someone I'd hate having as an inlaw.

[Anonymous]

I don't see the problem OP.

You and family get ready in your primary bedroom and bathroom. The guys can get ready in the child's room and the guest bathroom.

Either this or rent a hotel room as a part of the gift.

[Anonymous]

Why do they need a place to "get ready"?

Like, each groomsmen can wake up in his own hotel room and shower & shave & put on clothes, and then they can meet in the hotel lobby to hang out & chill while fiddling with their ties and boutinnieres and whatever.

What's the objection to that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, of course you let him.

+ 💯 of course! Wow, I’ve been on this site for years and the things people post never cease to amaze and dumbfound me!

[Anonymous]

I would let them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

I'm not sure it's required for OP to provide a meal, and it shouldn't require major cleaning after. Also, is her husband useless? This is one of those things you just have to suck up for family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need a place to "get ready"?

Like, each groomsmen can wake up in his own hotel room and shower & shave & put on clothes, and then they can meet in the hotel lobby to hang out & chill while fiddling with their ties and boutinnieres and whatever.

What's the objection to that?

They might want to spend more time together than is comfortable in a hotel lobby. We handled it the way you suggested for my wedding because I didn't want to impose on my bridesmaids or relatives, and I woke up early with excitement and was in tears about being alone on my wedding day by mid-morning. Unless it's a morning wedding, "just get ready in your hotel room and we'll meet in the lobby a little bit before we have to leave for the church" is a real downer of a way to spend much of your wedding day

Just open your door and don't treat it as a big hosting occasion with food and entertainment, OP. That's kindness enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

I'm not sure it's required for OP to provide a meal, and it shouldn't require major cleaning after. Also, is her husband useless? This is one of those things you just have to suck up for family.

+1

PP is making this difficult for the sake of making this difficult. The guests/family/husband can feed themselves and clean after themselves.

[Anonymous]

Why can't they get ready in one of the groomsmen's hotel rooms?

[Anonymous]

What is it with all these adult siblings who can’t be generous and gracious for a few hours on a sibling’s wedding day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

I'm not sure it's required for OP to provide a meal, and it shouldn't require major cleaning after. Also, is her husband useless? This is one of those things you just have to suck up for family.

+1

PP is making this difficult for the sake of making this difficult. The guests/family/husband can feed themselves and clean after themselves.

I see everyone saying serve a sandwich platter, which is along the lines of what I'd do. So OP can't leave for the wedding with sandwiches left out and can't send groomsmen to the wedding with doggie bags. Someone needs to wrap everything up and find room in OPs fridge and wipe her counters so she doesn't come home to a mess. I wouldn't expect guests to do that. Maybe her husband will. I would not love all this extra stuff, with people I don't know, while I'm dressing for a wedding which is going to be more involved than my daily routine.

It can be done, she probably has to suck it up and do it, and maybe I'm too rigid, but I wouldn't find that to be a blast and I think it's a fairly big favor if she does it. She asked for opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another thing to consider is whether the photographer is doing getting ready pics for the groom, cause then your house has to be photo ready clean!

Tell the photographer they can take a photo of the groom adjusting his tie at the wedding venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

I'm not sure it's required for OP to provide a meal, and it shouldn't require major cleaning after. Also, is her husband useless? This is one of those things you just have to suck up for family.

+1

PP is making this difficult for the sake of making this difficult. The guests/family/husband can feed themselves and clean after themselves.

I see everyone saying serve a sandwich platter, which is along the lines of what I'd do. So OP can't leave for the wedding with sandwiches left out and can't send groomsmen to the wedding with doggie bags. Someone needs to wrap everything up and find room in OPs fridge and wipe her counters so she doesn't come home to a mess. I wouldn't expect guests to do that. Maybe her husband will. I would not love all this extra stuff, with people I don't know, while I'm dressing for a wedding which is going to be more involved than my daily routine.

It can be done, she probably has to suck it up and do it, and maybe I'm too rigid, but I wouldn't find that to be a blast and I think it's a fairly big favor if she does it. She asked for opinions.

She doesn't have to serve a sandwich platter. It doesn't sound like anyone's asking her to cook or cater. But you can't seriously refuse hospitality to your brother for a couple hours on his wedding day because someone might eat something and leave a crumb on a counter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

I'm not sure it's required for OP to provide a meal, and it shouldn't require major cleaning after. Also, is her husband useless? This is one of those things you just have to suck up for family.

+1

PP is making this difficult for the sake of making this difficult. The guests/family/husband can feed themselves and clean after themselves.

+1
One of them can even pick up some food on the way over. They're just going to get dressed and hang out. That's unlikely to make a huge mess or require major cleanup. None of this stuff is hard. A bunch of guys aren't going to care if everything is perfectly clean. Your husband will probably enjoy getting ready with his brother.