Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know nearly a dozen young people who have opted not to have kids because they feel they can’t afford them.

All of these young people grew up in nice homes with two loving parents, great schools, travel, etc. Despite having good educations and jobs, the cost of housing plus kids is just too much.

Only one of my kids is old enough to really worry about such things, and they’ve opted to not come back to the dc metro area after college because it’s too expensive.

It’s sad how people choose to avoid hard work and live selfishly. Kids are a lot of work but also a great investment and a great way to be fulfilled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1250406.page

This same issue was brought up in a mega thread last year

But it’s interesting to see it pop up again. It shows that many different people definitely have this on top of mind

The person who was going to get themselves Kevorkian’d if her kid didn’t make it into a top school? Yes, there are a lot of things on top of that poster’s mind, none of which a sane person should heed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1250406.page

This same issue was brought up in a mega thread last year

But it’s interesting to see it pop up again. It shows that many different people definitely have this on top of mind

Rude awakening when the application season is over. Every year. Like a clock. It’s a hell lot more difficult to get in ivy league now than 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone needs to be wealthy to be happy.

Right? The happiest couple I know is a firefighter instructor and an elementary school teacher.

And they probably grew up middle class with working blue collard parents.
They don’t know what they are missing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your kids have a downward trajectory - especially if they themselves don’t particularly care? It happens all the time. Family fortunes go up, and down.

+1
My family has been in the US since the Revolution. There have been a lot of ups and downs in the family’s fortunes since then. For some reason, wealthy people today seem to think that family fortunes stay intact over generations.

No, but it’s a lot easier to structure intergenerational wealth to help preserve it today than it was in the past. And the amount of financial education you can instill in your kids is much greater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone needs to be wealthy to be happy.

Right? The happiest couple I know is a firefighter instructor and an elementary school teacher.

And they probably grew up middle class with working blue collard parents.
They don’t know what they are missing

Tend to agree with this. I grew up genuinely middle class (not DCUM middle class) in a poor neighborhood. My parents still live in that poor neighborhood. There is nothing worth aiming for there. There is nothing redeeming about downward mobility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone needs to be wealthy to be happy.

Right? The happiest couple I know is a firefighter instructor and an elementary school teacher.

And they probably grew up middle class with working blue collard parents.
They don’t know what they are missing

Tend to agree with this. I grew up genuinely middle class (not DCUM middle class) in a poor neighborhood. My parents still live in that poor neighborhood. There is nothing worth aiming for there. There is nothing redeeming about downward mobility.

Yeah but OP’s definition of downward mobility is probably Olney instead of Potomac and flying economy instead of business class on overseas vacations, so all this class anxiety sounds tone-deaf and gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone needs to be wealthy to be happy.

Right? The happiest couple I know is a firefighter instructor and an elementary school teacher.

And they probably grew up middle class with working blue collard parents.
They don’t know what they are missing

Tend to agree with this. I grew up genuinely middle class (not DCUM middle class) in a poor neighborhood. My parents still live in that poor neighborhood. There is nothing worth aiming for there. There is nothing redeeming about downward mobility.

Yeah but OP’s definition of downward mobility is probably Olney instead of Potomac and flying economy instead of business class on overseas vacations, so all this class anxiety sounds tone-deaf and gross

Lol fair enough

[Anonymous]

Couldn’t agree with you more. Both of my parents came from very little, both worked hard and went to ivies and then into excellent careers. I also worked hard, but I had a lot more given to me than they did and I went to a top 50 school. My husband is a second generation Eastern European immigrant and we live a comfortable life, but we definitely have a lot less disposable income than my parents did growing up. My plan is to save anything that it is given to me from my parents and pass it directly my children.

[Anonymous]

Standard of living has been declining in USA for some time. It has more to do with devaluation of the dollar more than anything. It is why "real" inflation is much closer to 10%. Once dollar loses reserve status then its a UK setup.

The rest of the world is similar. A global reset is coming but who knows who will emerge as the reserve currency going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your kids have a downward trajectory - especially if they themselves don’t particularly care? It happens all the time. Family fortunes go up, and down.

+1
My family has been in the US since the Revolution. There have been a lot of ups and downs in the family’s fortunes since then. For some reason, wealthy people today seem to think that family fortunes stay intact over generations.

No, but it’s a lot easier to structure intergenerational wealth to help preserve it today than it was in the past. And the amount of financial education you can instill in your kids is much greater.

Eh.. to some degree. I am the PP you’re replying to. Your suggestions don’t solve the financial problems caused by substance abuse (common in rich families), things like the Great Depression, embezzlement, fraud, and a simple lack of desire to work hard. In a wealthy family, over the generations these things are almost guaranteed to appear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know nearly a dozen young people who have opted not to have kids because they feel they can’t afford them.

All of these young people grew up in nice homes with two loving parents, great schools, travel, etc. Despite having good educations and jobs, the cost of housing plus kids is just too much.

Only one of my kids is old enough to really worry about such things, and they’ve opted to not come back to the dc metro area after college because it’s too expensive.

It’s sad how people choose to avoid hard work and live selfishly. Kids are a lot of work but also a great investment and a great way to be fulfilled!

Selfish is having kids just because it’s expected. Honestly, in present day society, I probably wouldn’t have brought them into this mess. I’m not talking about AI and political discord, I’m talking about the looming climate crisis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the college application process wraps up, I’m realizing something that’s getting harder and harder to ignore: it really seems like DC is headed for downward social mobility. I just don’t see them pursuing a career that would allow them to maintain the lifestyle they grew up with. And since they’re not getting into Ivy League schools, they won’t even have the prestige, however little it may be, that might help them hold onto whatever social status comes with it.

And then there’s the bigger picture. The spouse they end up with will probably be in the same situation, and then there are their kids and the whole family trajectory. Add in the rise of AI and the disappearance of jobs, and it’s only going to make things worse.

Maybe this isn’t something people say out loud. One of those quiet anxieties. But can we rant about it on an anonymous forum.

There is so much ick in this post. I want my kids to choose careers that they are good at and enjoy. I hope that they choose to live in a community that they can afford. I also hope that they choose a great life partner and raise happy, thoughtful children who are interested in learning. I don't care if they choose to ski in the Poconos instead of Aspen, or go to Ocean City instead of Nantucket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone needs to be wealthy to be happy.

Right? The happiest couple I know is a firefighter instructor and an elementary school teacher.

And they probably grew up middle class with working blue collard parents.
They don’t know what they are missing

That’s pretty patronizing. It’s impossible not to know what one is “missing” with social media and kids constantly comparing with each other. Some people are just more content and thankful for what they *do* have in life. I wish I could say I had that attitude more often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your kids have a downward trajectory - especially if they themselves don’t particularly care? It happens all the time. Family fortunes go up, and down.

+1
My family has been in the US since the Revolution. There have been a lot of ups and downs in the family’s fortunes since then. For some reason, wealthy people today seem to think that family fortunes stay intact over generations.

No, but it’s a lot easier to structure intergenerational wealth to help preserve it today than it was in the past. And the amount of financial education you can instill in your kids is much greater.

Eh.. to some degree. I am the PP you’re replying to. Your suggestions don’t solve the financial problems caused by substance abuse (common in rich families), things like the Great Depression, embezzlement, fraud, and a simple lack of desire to work hard. In a wealthy family, over the generations these things are almost guaranteed to appear.

Not just to some degree.

Multigenerational trusts can mitigate many of the issues you mentioned. These really took off in the 1980s and 90s with federal and state tax law changes, especially the Tax Reform Act of 1986. Financial literacy and education have become much more developed and standardized. Basically every decent investing book ever written has been done so after 1949 when Ben Graham wrote the The Intelligent Investor. Even The Missing Billionaires which came out a few years ago and documents why so many early 1900s wealthy families aren’t rich today—we just know so much more than we used to about how to manage wealth.