Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the college application process wraps up, I’m realizing something that’s getting harder and harder to ignore: it really seems like DC is headed for downward social mobility. I just don’t see them pursuing a career that would allow them to maintain the lifestyle they grew up with. And since they’re not getting into Ivy League schools, they won’t even have the prestige, however little it may be, that might help them hold onto whatever social status comes with it.

And then there’s the bigger picture. The spouse they end up with will probably be in the same situation, and then there are their kids and the whole family trajectory. Add in the rise of AI and the disappearance of jobs, and it’s only going to make things worse.

Maybe this isn’t something people say out loud. One of those quiet anxieties. But can we rant about it on an anonymous forum.

It’s a tragedy that your kids won’t have 2 Land Rovers & a Bentley in their driveway. They will just have to figure out a way to survive on roots, berries, & a Chevy Trax.

[Anonymous]

A dynamic society is a just society. Though US right now is a quasi oligarchy, there are ways low income family may reach higher income ( though increasing difficult ) and some high income will slide down. If oligarchy is smashed - very likely in the coming decade - due to inexorable forces of nature, it will be a great thing ( to behold as well)

[Anonymous]

There is increasing evidence to support a downward social and economic mobility:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1313290.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care if your kids have a downward trajectory - especially if they themselves don’t particularly care? It happens all the time. Family fortunes go up, and down.

+1
My family has been in the US since the Revolution. There have been a lot of ups and downs in the family’s fortunes since then. For some reason, wealthy people today seem to think that family fortunes stay intact over generations.

[Anonymous]

Maximize inheritance. If you tend to have money 'disappear' invest in real estate.

[Anonymous]

I hope my kids trend downward and don’t do what we did. Maybe they’ll actually be useful to society. DH and I make good money, but are probably a net negative to the Earth. It’s depressing. Just riding it out now so we can retire early and stop the madness.

Seriously, if my kids become EMTs or fly-fishing guides, that’s a win.

Maybe examine your own biases and priorities, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your child a boy or a girl? My teenager is a boy and I'm pretty sure his plan right now is to marry a woman that is ambitious. He's good looking so he probably has that luxury.

Impressive, Still in NW DC, so many stay at home moms who just gave up their careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the college application process wraps up, I’m realizing something that’s getting harder and harder to ignore: it really seems like DC is headed for downward social mobility. I just don’t see them pursuing a career that would allow them to maintain the lifestyle they grew up with. And since they’re not getting into Ivy League schools, they won’t even have the prestige, however little it may be, that might help them hold onto whatever social status comes with it.

And then there’s the bigger picture. The spouse they end up with will probably be in the same situation, and then there are their kids and the whole family trajectory. Add in the rise of AI and the disappearance of jobs, and it’s only going to make things worse.

Maybe this isn’t something people say out loud. One of those quiet anxieties. But can we rant about it on an anonymous forum.

They have hands, their brain, and a healthy body. If they are honest with themselves and work hard, they will be fine. Many immigrants did it, your kids can do it. I came here with $200 to attend graduate school, so did many. I would never imagine myself owning a house in NW DC. Yet I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope my kids trend downward and don’t do what we did. Maybe they’ll actually be useful to society. DH and I make good money, but are probably a net negative to the Earth. It’s depressing. Just riding it out now so we can retire early and stop the madness.

Seriously, if my kids become EMTs or fly-fishing guides, that’s a win.

Maybe examine your own biases and priorities, OP?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your child a boy or a girl? My teenager is a boy and I'm pretty sure his plan right now is to marry a woman that is ambitious. He's good looking so he probably has that luxury.

let us know how this works out please. i am not sure if that's what an ambitious woman would want. most of the ambitious succesful women i know want the same in a mate. we moved past wanting the good looking guys after high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child a boy or a girl? My teenager is a boy and I'm pretty sure his plan right now is to marry a woman that is ambitious. He's good looking so he probably has that luxury.

let us know how this works out please. i am not sure if that's what an ambitious woman would want. most of the ambitious succesful women i know want the same in a mate. we moved past wanting the good looking guys after high school.

Time has changed. In your generation a male doctor may marry a nurse. Nowadays successful women want the same thing.
More and more often we will see:
Female surgeon-male firefighter
Law firm female partner-male cop
Female dentist-male plumber
Female CEO-male elementary school teacher

It's a trend. And it's a good thing.

[Anonymous]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1250406.page

This same issue was brought up in a mega thread last year

But it’s interesting to see it pop up again. It shows that many different people definitely have this on top of mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you give to your DC's the best education in the world and they still can't succeed, an inheritance isn't going to make any difference (unless you have Elon Musk money).

You're either totally obtuse or have never met anyone even moderately rich with kids who can't 'succeed' on their own. Of, course, inheritances help, and so do trust funds.

Geez

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the college application process wraps up, I’m realizing something that’s getting harder and harder to ignore: it really seems like DC is headed for downward social mobility. I just don’t see them pursuing a career that would allow them to maintain the lifestyle they grew up with. And since they’re not getting into Ivy League schools, they won’t even have the prestige, however little it may be, that might help them hold onto whatever social status comes with it.

And then there’s the bigger picture. The spouse they end up with will probably be in the same situation, and then there are their kids and the whole family trajectory. Add in the rise of AI and the disappearance of jobs, and it’s only going to make things worse.

Maybe this isn’t something people say out loud. One of those quiet anxieties. But can we rant about it on an anonymous forum.

Save more money, spend less, and leave them all you can in their inheritance. That is how you can help them and your grandkids.

Honestly, this. If they currently have some lifestyle (courtesy of you) that you don’t think they can make for themselves as adults—despite going to college and getting a professional job—then you clearly have the resources to help them in the future. Annual gifts, 529s for the grandkids, trusts when you die. Teach them deep financial literacy and long-term/intergenerational wealth planning. This is how every UMC and above family helps those who can’t swing it on their own (for those families that help, that is).

Ick. Don't have or want any of this. Parents don't feel the need to help us financially, which is fine by me. Isn't this how hustle dissipates through generations?

+1 But we are outliers on dcum. Most people on here are in their 30’s and 40’s and constantly complaining that their wealthy elderly parents aren’t subsidizing their lifestyle to their liking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one knows what tomorrow will bring. We could have a revolution, depression or a worse pandemic than covid. It makes no sense to worry about what you cannot control.

So many opportunities in Covid times. Cheap cars, not paying rent, getting extra unemployment and traveling on the cheap, Covid loans, you name it!