DD has advanced degree and working at a burger joint

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as she's not living with you and you're not giving her money, stay out of it.

This

If she is in any trouble or need, who would've to take money out of retirement savings? Parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you’re not my mother. No contact for your daughter is really the only solution here.

Why is the advice here frequently toxic? Cut off your loved ones! Leave your spouse! This is not how healthy people solve problems, and I encourage posters to think twice before blowing up important relationships.

1000%

[Anonymous]

My family of limited means allowed me to live at home and pay minimal rent while I went to art school. Eventually I went back to school for something that allowed me to be steadily employed. The art school experience has fed me forever after. Meeting friends at the National Gallery this week. Encouraging my kids to take advantage of interesting opportunities while they are young. They are always willing to work and their desire for material things will determine how they balance wants and needs. As long as she’s healthy, just love her.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who has a boring, low paying job just for the insurance and steady income, but is actually a pretty successful musician. Someone else I know works at Office Depot and writes plays and acts. Both of them are VERY happy people who are fulfilled by their art and not defined by their day job. If that's the worst case scenario for your dd, I'd say she's doing pretty great in life.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher, and when I was younger, I used to work at a language center that taught ESL to foreign students and adults. The pay was something like $18 an hour, and there were people working there on that full time, year round: they also got health insurance, but the pay was poverty level. One of the other teachers at the center was a published novelist who worked there just for the health insurance. He eventually published a best seller that received acclaim, and ended up being hired by a university after that. But my point is, he was a struggling artist/writer, and I'm sure his parents thought his lowly job was a disappointment.

Maybe she'll make it with her music? And if not, she can move on to something else. She'll always look back to this time when she was young and full of hope and striving to achieve her dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher, and when I was younger, I used to work at a language center that taught ESL to foreign students and adults. The pay was something like $18 an hour, and there were people working there on that full time, year round: they also got health insurance, but the pay was poverty level. One of the other teachers at the center was a published novelist who worked there just for the health insurance. He eventually published a best seller that received acclaim, and ended up being hired by a university after that. But my point is, he was a struggling artist/writer, and I'm sure his parents thought his lowly job was a disappointment.

Maybe she'll make it with her music? And if not, she can move on to something else. She'll always look back to this time when she was young and full of hope and striving to achieve her dream.

*To add to my post above, I only worked at the summer during my summer vacations, and the pay was considerably less than what I made with my teacher job, which was also not much. So the writer I described was truly choosing poverty in working there full time. But he made it...

[Anonymous]

She sounds like she is doing ok OP. She's probably making more money than she would be using her MSW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher, and when I was younger, I used to work at a language center that taught ESL to foreign students and adults. The pay was something like $18 an hour, and there were people working there on that full time, year round: they also got health insurance, but the pay was poverty level. One of the other teachers at the center was a published novelist who worked there just for the health insurance. He eventually published a best seller that received acclaim, and ended up being hired by a university after that. But my point is, he was a struggling artist/writer, and I'm sure his parents thought his lowly job was a disappointment.

Maybe she'll make it with her music? And if not, she can move on to something else. She'll always look back to this time when she was young and full of hope and striving to achieve her dream.

*To add to my post above, I only worked at the summer during my summer vacations, and the pay was considerably less than what I made with my teacher job, which was also not much. So the writer I described was truly choosing poverty in working there full time. But he made it...

How many people actually "make it"? Not many. But, I think if you're that dedicated to your art, and you love what you do and don't mind living in poverty, then fine.

But, what happens when OP's DC is 40, still no good paying job. What are their prospects? Bank of Mom and Dad?

Part of being an adult means living with the consequences of making adult decisions and not expecting your parents to bail you out of those adult decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she is doing ok OP. She's probably making more money than she would be using her MSW.

but how long can a person play in a punk band, or pay your bills just by flipping burgers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she is doing ok OP. She's probably making more money than she would be using her MSW.

but how long can a person play in a punk band, or pay your bills just by flipping burgers.

Pretty long. A lot of waitresses/bartenders in DC are in their 40s/50s.

[Anonymous]

My daughter graduated hs and wanted to go to cosmetology school which she did and went on to become a licensed esthetician then went on to get 3 certifications in her field which in total cost us thousands. After all this she decided this was a hobby and not her passion.

She then went on to be a group leader at an after-school program at her old school. Because of this she found she likes working with kids and at 19 she is now a paraprofessional for the nyc doe.

My 28 year old went to cosmetology school and decided it wasn't for her then went on to college which she also decided wasn't for her and now makes a decent salary as a gm for a major beauty store.

My point is that no matter what they chose I supported them and there pursuit of a career and what made them happy. Im in no way disappointed but am very proud of them for following and doing what makes them happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she is doing ok OP. She's probably making more money than she would be using her MSW.

but how long can a person play in a punk band, or pay your bills just by flipping burgers.

Well if it pays more than your MSW then how long can you pay doing that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as she's not living with you and you're not giving her money, stay out of it.

This

If she is in any trouble or need, who would've to take money out of retirement savings? Parents.

Of course they wouldn't. They might choose to, but they shouldn't. She should have her own emergency fund.

[Anonymous]

FFS, OP. She doesn't just work at "a burger joint." She's a musician. Leave her be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she is doing ok OP. She's probably making more money than she would be using her MSW.

but how long can a person play in a punk band, or pay your bills just by flipping burgers.

Well if it pays more than your MSW then how long can you pay doing that...

I don't think flipping burgers pays more than a work for someone with an MSW. Entry level social work in the DC are pays around $55K per year. And you get benefits, and probably a pension.

I doubt flipping burgers pays that much, and not sure if they get benefits. It sure doesn't provide a pension.