15yo smacked 5yo - SIL lost it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell SIL you will go no contact. There.

The SIL will welcome it. Keep your trash boyfriend and his trash kid away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People on here calling a swat on the arm abuse and calling a 15 year old girl a crap person are psychotic drama llamas who are probably raising spoiled, entitled monsters. FWIW.

+1
You guys are nuts. It was a seat on the arm. And no I don’t hit my kids but I also don’t view something like that as “hitting kids”. He was probably reaching again for something she told him not to touch so she smacked his arm away. This seems like regular kid stuff among families.

First of all, hitting someone on the arm is hitting someone. I can not fathom how you can convince yourself otherwise.

As a parent of teenagers and a 4 year old, I agree that this kind of thing happens sometimes between siblings. In my household the older sibling would have significant consequences, and we'd increase supervision of both kids, and a reminder of boundaries for both kids. I certainly wouldn't respond by taking the older kid shopping!

But hitting a kid who isn't in your family? That's a different thing. Especially in a supervised setting with adults that the older kid could have called on.

Having said that, OP seems to be arguing that both the preschooler's behavior was repeated and so egregious that hitting him was justified, but she also seems to have sat and watched the behavior, without intervening.

Finally, screaming at each other isn't the solution, whichever parent didn't live there should have left. If I was the parent of younger child, my child would never be around those people (aunt who justified this, boyfriend, teen) again, without me in the room supervising. People who justify this kind of behavior don't get a second chance with my kid.

I will also note that even among parents who spank, "did not cause an injury" is a terrible standard for what's appropriate.

ALL OF THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team Teen. I’m assuming the girl didn’t immediately resort to swatting him on the arm. And I’m assuming SIL wasn’t discipline fhim or keeping a proper eye on him.

Depending on how long you’ve been dating your boyfriend, these are quasi-family. Teens and toddlers will sometimes scuffle or not act like their best selves. Your SIL overreacted. And your boyfriend got pissed and met her energy.

Same.

A swat on the arm is hardly abuse. The mom wasn't controlling the 5-year old, letting him bug the 15-year old. A 15-year old will resort to a swat. Would the mom have preferred the teen verbally rip into the kid and let him have it, which is another 15-year old reaction?

I think the dad was rewarding the teen's sense of boundaries. Good on him, he sounds like a good dad. You don't want your young child annoying others, and you don't want teens resorting to any kind of harsh reaction. A swat is not a harsh reaction. The one who failed in this situation is the small child's mom who wouldn't control her young child and then over-reacted to the teen's mild swat.

Do you realize that there are options beyond these two?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

That you think smacking a little kid at that point was the only option is pretty ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

What a trashy family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

That you think smacking a little kid at that point was the only option is pretty ridiculous.

I don't think it was a smack. It was a swat.

Are you people living in a cave, or are you around young folks? A swat happens pretty regularly. Go to the mall and hang out where the kids hang out, and you will see plenty of swats happening. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

That you think smacking a little kid at that point was the only option is pretty ridiculous.

I don't think it was a smack. It was a swat.

Are you people living in a cave, or are you around young folks? A swat happens pretty regularly. Go to the mall and hang out where the kids hang out, and you will see plenty of swats happening. Sheesh.

Teens hanging out at the mall are regularly going around hitting preschoolers? Yeah... no. No one's buying that.

[Anonymous]

I think both parents overacted and were wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think both parents overacted and were wrong.

Yes. OP is stuck with her SIL. The BF’s behavior would have really put me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend and his daughter are crap people. She hit a small child. She didn't tell him to stop, didn't move away, didn't ask a parent to step in, just hit him. And her parent took her out and rewarded that behavior.

I would dump him and apologize to my actual relative.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

Come back when your 7 year old has the hormones of a teenager and is being incessantly pestered by kids who aren’t even close to being his playmates.

Some of y’all are about as smart as a box of hair.

I'm sorry are you seriously arguing a 15 year old should be expected to have less impulse control that a 7 year old. That's just sad.

Spoken like the know-it-all mom of a 7 year. The teenage years are going to knock you on your @$$, and you totally deserve it

Also, your kid is DEFINITELY going to hate you when he’s a teen…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

Right which is why none of us are suggesting that the 4 year old’s parents press charges or knock he’s lights out, which is how we respond if an unrelated adult assaulted our child.

Some of you would benefit from being truly assaulted someday. You sound ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your boyfriend and his daughter are in the wrong here, but I suspect you know that. I’m guessing SIL won’t let her child around them again - I wouldn’t. Obviously it’s a different story if it was an older sibling or cousin, etc. But the bratty teenage daughter of your random boyfriend? Forget it.

Don’t threaten that teen girl with a good time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team Teen. I’m assuming the girl didn’t immediately resort to swatting him on the arm. And I’m assuming SIL wasn’t discipline fhim or keeping a proper eye on him.

Depending on how long you’ve been dating your boyfriend, these are quasi-family. Teens and toddlers will sometimes scuffle or not act like their best selves. Your SIL overreacted. And your boyfriend got pissed and met her energy.

Same.

A swat on the arm is hardly abuse. The mom wasn't controlling the 5-year old, letting him bug the 15-year old. A 15-year old will resort to a swat. Would the mom have preferred the teen verbally rip into the kid and let him have it, which is another 15-year old reaction?

I think the dad was rewarding the teen's sense of boundaries. Good on him, he sounds like a good dad. You don't want your young child annoying others, and you don't want teens resorting to any kind of harsh reaction. A swat is not a harsh reaction. The one who failed in this situation is the small child's mom who wouldn't control her young child and then over-reacted to the teen's mild swat.

Do you realize that there are options beyond these two?

Do YOU realize that there are options beyond *allowing* a teen to swat a five year old and calling her a “crap, trash” person?

You people are absolute morons. It’s mind-blowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

Come back when your 7 year old has the hormones of a teenager and is being incessantly pestered by kids who aren’t even close to being his playmates.

Some of y’all are about as smart as a box of hair.

I'm sorry are you seriously arguing a 15 year old should be expected to have less impulse control that a 7 year old. That's just sad.

Spoken like the know-it-all mom of a 7 year. The teenage years are going to knock you on your @$$, and you totally deserve it

Also, your kid is DEFINITELY going to hate you when he’s a teen…

You know a lot of us were teen girls who babysat children. My kid's baby sitter is a 16 year old girl.

You sound like you're raising an absolute monster of you are going around excusing teenagers hitting children with "hormones".

No, that's not remotely normal behavior.