15yo smacked 5yo - SIL lost it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I entirely agree that a little swat on the arm is not the worse thing that happened here. The SIL should know not to automatically jump to defend an annoying little 5 year old, especially if she wasn't supervising him and his brattiness. The boyfriend was entirely out of line by getting angry. These two adults are terrible. Poor teen. Poor little boy. Both raised by awful parents.

You sound like someone who would hit a 4 yr old.

What a lame, predictable response.

DP, agree with PP re: drama llamas, have multiple kids and never hit any of them 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend and his daughter are crap people. She hit a small child. She didn't tell him to stop, didn't move away, didn't ask a parent to step in, just hit him. And her parent took her out and rewarded that behavior.

I would dump him and apologize to my actual relative.

+1
That is is a no-brainer. He rewards bad behavior, and this teen has learned that reacting with violence is ok. Either no filter or has been hit herself. Not a bright future there.
Consider this a red flag.

vIoLeNcE 🙄🙄🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The kids were playing together at first. Later, my boyfriend’s daughter sat down by herself and my nephew followed her over. She told him no and told me that he kept touching her stuff, so I told him to play with the other kids, which he did.

A few minutes later he came back. That’s when she swatted his arm. He started to cry and reached for me, so I picked him up and comforted him. My SIL came in from another room when she heard him cry and comforted him, and after he had calmed down, she confronted my boyfriend. She didn’t say anything negative about his daughter, but did criticize him.

This story is no better than your first. You don't hit toddlers and you don't scream at people. Is that really that hard to understand for all of you?

An almost 5 year old isn’t a toddler, dram queen

THANK YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

Yup. End of thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The kids were playing together at first. Later, my boyfriend’s daughter sat down by herself and my nephew followed her over. She told him no and told me that he kept touching her stuff, so I told him to play with the other kids, which he did.

A few minutes later he came back. That’s when she swatted his arm. He started to cry and reached for me, so I picked him up and comforted him. My SIL came in from another room when she heard him cry and comforted him, and after he had calmed down, she confronted my boyfriend. She didn’t say anything negative about his daughter, but did criticize him.

Sounds like the 15 yr old tried multiple times to get the 5 yo to stop. Used words, moved locations, etc. A swat on the arm is not “smacking” - so which is it? You initially made it seem like the 15 year old abused the 5 year old.
I imagine a swat on the arm is not hard - and has the intended purpose of getting the child to leave things alone without actually inflicting harm.

Your attempt to downplay what happened is pathetic.

Your attempt to spin what happened into some absurd melodrama is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend’s 15yo hit my 4yo nephew. He was annoying her and she lightly smacked his arm. It wasn’t hard, didn’t cause injury, but he cried.

My SIL (brothers wife) immediately yelled at my boyfriend, called him a lazy dad, and my boyfriend yelled back at her, said she was dramatic and couldn’t control her kid, they were going on back and fourth for a couple minutes. After we left, he took his daughter to dinner, went shopping, bought her dessert and a new watch.

I guess everyone was reacting in the moment, but I’m still trying to process whether this was handled well and what would have been more appropriate. How would you have handled it? Did they overact?

I think you already know this OP, but as a reminder, there are people in the world where this sort of thing never happens in their families. They have thoughts of wanting to lightly smack the arm of a four year old when that four year old is annoying them--but they catch themselves before they act on that thought because they know it would overwhelm/terrify/harm the child. And most people are not comfortable harming children--in any way.

Come on, OP, you really, really can do better than this guy. You know this...I'm speaking to the parts of you that already knows this but are stunned into frozen compliance and cognitive dissonance...can you hear those parts? I think you do, otherwise you would not be posting here for feedback.

Trust your instincts, OP.

You are SO absurdly melodramatic. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Yes Yes. The mature thing for you to do was to post about this on DCUM. I see craziness and maturity runs in the family.