15yo smacked 5yo - SIL lost it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs it's quite clear this thread is getting troll bombed. Nobody is so stupid they'd call a little swat a big issue. A swat is like a gentle shove, nothing more.

Just because people don't agree with teens hitting kinders does not mean we're trolls. I'd wage the people supporting abuse and assault are the trolls.

You wouldn’t know abuse and assault if it knocked your lights out, snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump your boyfriend. He’s trash.

I rarely condone the use of the word “trash” to describe a human being, but your boyfriend really does epitomize the use case, OP. He’s a waste of flesh.

[Anonymous]

Adults don't yell at each other. It is incredibly immature. You can reprimand a child without yelling. You can disagree with other adults in a regular voice.

It is shocking how many adults in our world think yelling is OK or normal behavior. It's maladjusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend’s 15yo hit my 4yo nephew. He was annoying her and she lightly smacked his arm. It wasn’t hard, didn’t cause injury, but he cried.

My SIL (brothers wife) immediately yelled at my boyfriend, called him a lazy dad, and my boyfriend yelled back at her, said she was dramatic and couldn’t control her kid, they were going on back and fourth for a couple minutes. After we left, he took his daughter to dinner, went shopping, bought her dessert and a new watch.

I guess everyone was reacting in the moment, but I’m still trying to process whether this was handled well and what would have been more appropriate. How would you have handled it? Did they overact?

I would bet the 15 yr. old had asked the 5 yr. old brat to stop whatever he was doing several times and he didn't. Brat got what he deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs it's quite clear this thread is getting troll bombed. Nobody is so stupid they'd call a little swat a big issue. A swat is like a gentle shove, nothing more.

Just because people don't agree with teens hitting kinders does not mean we're trolls. I'd wage the people supporting abuse and assault are the trolls.

You wouldn’t know abuse and assault if it knocked your lights out, snowflake.

I love it when the abusers out themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend’s 15yo hit my 4yo nephew. He was annoying her and she lightly smacked his arm. It wasn’t hard, didn’t cause injury, but he cried.

My SIL (brothers wife) immediately yelled at my boyfriend, called him a lazy dad, and my boyfriend yelled back at her, said she was dramatic and couldn’t control her kid, they were going on back and fourth for a couple minutes. After we left, he took his daughter to dinner, went shopping, bought her dessert and a new watch.

I guess everyone was reacting in the moment, but I’m still trying to process whether this was handled well and what would have been more appropriate. How would you have handled it? Did they overact?

I think you already know this OP, but as a reminder, there are people in the world where this sort of thing never happens in their families. They have thoughts of wanting to lightly smack the arm of a four year old when that four year old is annoying them--but they catch themselves before they act on that thought because they know it would overwhelm/terrify/harm the child. And most people are not comfortable harming children--in any way.

Come on, OP, you really, really can do better than this guy. You know this...I'm speaking to the parts of you that already knows this but are stunned into frozen compliance and cognitive dissonance...can you hear those parts? I think you do, otherwise you would not be posting here for feedback.

Trust your instincts, OP.

[Anonymous]

How do all of these ill equipped losers function in the world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adults don't yell at each other. It is incredibly immature. You can reprimand a child without yelling. You can disagree with other adults in a regular voice.

It is shocking how many adults in our world think yelling is OK or normal behavior. It's maladjusted.

Equally amazing how asking in an adult normal voice 2,3,4,5 times results in nothing. So then the no response escalates things.
And one must give up and not have the issue get addressed by the proper person or get louder and more forceful in their request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do all of these ill equipped losers function in the world?

They fake it and then Fake it some more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do all of these ill equipped losers function in the world?

There are so many abusers in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team Teen. I’m assuming the girl didn’t immediately resort to swatting him on the arm. And I’m assuming SIL wasn’t discipline fhim or keeping a proper eye on him.

Depending on how long you’ve been dating your boyfriend, these are quasi-family. Teens and toddlers will sometimes scuffle or not act like their best selves. Your SIL overreacted. And your boyfriend got pissed and met her energy.

Same.

A swat on the arm is hardly abuse. The mom wasn't controlling the 5-year old, letting him bug the 15-year old. A 15-year old will resort to a swat. Would the mom have preferred the teen verbally rip into the kid and let him have it, which is another 15-year old reaction?

I think the dad was rewarding the teen's sense of boundaries. Good on him, he sounds like a good dad. You don't want your young child annoying others, and you don't want teens resorting to any kind of harsh reaction. A swat is not a harsh reaction. The one who failed in this situation is the small child's mom who wouldn't control her young child and then over-reacted to the teen's mild swat.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend’s 15yo hit my 4yo nephew. He was annoying her and she lightly smacked his arm. It wasn’t hard, didn’t cause injury, but he cried.

My SIL (brothers wife) immediately yelled at my boyfriend, called him a lazy dad, and my boyfriend yelled back at her, said she was dramatic and couldn’t control her kid, they were going on back and fourth for a couple minutes. After we left, he took his daughter to dinner, went shopping, bought her dessert and a new watch.

I guess everyone was reacting in the moment, but I’m still trying to process whether this was handled well and what would have been more appropriate. How would you have handled it? Did they overact?

I think you already know this OP, but as a reminder, there are people in the world where this sort of thing never happens in their families. They have thoughts of wanting to lightly smack the arm of a four year old when that four year old is annoying them--but they catch themselves before they act on that thought because they know it would overwhelm/terrify/harm the child. And most people are not comfortable harming children--in any way.

Come on, OP, you really, really can do better than this guy. You know this...I'm speaking to the parts of you that already knows this but are stunned into frozen compliance and cognitive dissonance...can you hear those parts? I think you do, otherwise you would not be posting here for feedback.

Trust your instincts, OP.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^That mom in essence was stating, "My little Prince can do whatever he wants and you will tolerate it," and the father was stating, "I've watched your kid impose on my kid and didn't say anything. But I'm not going to stand by and let you yell at my kid after you ignored his bad behavior."

+100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don't yell at each other. It is incredibly immature. You can reprimand a child without yelling. You can disagree with other adults in a regular voice.

It is shocking how many adults in our world think yelling is OK or normal behavior. It's maladjusted.

Equally amazing how asking in an adult normal voice 2,3,4,5 times results in nothing. So then the no response escalates things.
And one must give up and not have the issue get addressed by the proper person or get louder and more forceful in their request.

That's...actually not how it works. Are you really this simple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on here calling a swat on the arm abuse and calling a 15 year old girl a crap person are psychotic drama llamas who are probably raising spoiled, entitled monsters. FWIW.

+1,000