Middle-aged tomboys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

True. But how girls and women look is being policed much more by society.

I was accused of being "trans" at a store recently by a fellow shopper. Nope, just a menopausal woman who doesn't feel like being uncomfortable anymore. Hot flashes are not conducive to me dressing up and knee problems nix the heels.

Apparently being tall and dressing more comfortable unisex now = trans in some people's eyes.

False. Just about anything goes these days.

There might be new language/options but that’s not more “policing”.

Wrong. Now, if girls don’t wear feminine clothes or look like a MAGA Barbie, they are often labeled LGBTQ. Back in the day, tomboys were still 100% female

Maybe that’s true in MAGAland, but here in civilized areas women can present themselves in a very wide range of appearances. Well, we do make fun of MAGA Barbie so maybe not that.

“Pat” was always ambiguous.

Definitions and boundaries are fading. Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and grew up in England. Definitely a tomboy. I wore the label with a sense of pride back then.
However, I don’t like the term now because it implies certain activities and behaviors are for boys and I think that’s wrong. Riding bikes, climbing trees, playing sports, having short hair etc, are not “ boy” things.
DD is 13 and enjoys the same things I did although different sports. I haven’t labeled her a tomboy and have not heard anyone call her that either..

Yes! I agree 100percent. Let's stop labelling.

OK, I agree. Let’s stop calling girls girls and boys boys cause that’s a label.

Well, stop calling Dr’s doctors and nurses nurses because that’s a label

That’s completely different. Some labels are relevant. A profession is a profession.
But labeling colors, clothing, sports, toys as for a certain gender needs to stop.
A girl wearing a dinosaur shirt because she likes dinosaurs shouldn’t be labeled as a tomboy.

I don’t think anyone under the age of 50 uses the term so no worries there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and grew up in England. Definitely a tomboy. I wore the label with a sense of pride back then.
However, I don’t like the term now because it implies certain activities and behaviors are for boys and I think that’s wrong. Riding bikes, climbing trees, playing sports, having short hair etc, are not “ boy” things.
DD is 13 and enjoys the same things I did although different sports. I haven’t labeled her a tomboy and have not heard anyone call her that either..

Yes! I agree 100percent. Let's stop labelling.

OK, I agree. Let’s stop calling girls girls and boys boys cause that’s a label.

Well, stop calling Dr’s doctors and nurses nurses because that’s a label

That’s completely different. Some labels are relevant. A profession is a profession.
But labeling colors, clothing, sports, toys as for a certain gender needs to stop.
A girl wearing a dinosaur shirt because she likes dinosaurs shouldn’t be labeled as a tomboy.

All words are relevant they’re used to describe things.

She’s a cheerleader type
She’s a girly girl
She’s a tomboy
She’s sporting
She’s muscular
She’s tall
She’s short
She’s goth

Words are used to describe people. It’s fine relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.

When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.

I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.

I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.

I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.

Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.

OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.

It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.

After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.

Op, I am a tomboy who worked at a high level as an executive director. I still didn't wear dresses or heels or make-up. They were hiring me for my knowledge and skills, and if me not looking like a Barbie was going to be the deciding criteria, then I really didn't want to work there. I wore a black pant suit to the interview and got the job. I refuse to play dress up to meet the expectations of anyone. Accept me as I am or move on.

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and I thought tomboy was a common but outdated word even when I was a kid. The 90s were the "girls can do anything!" years, so reading references to tomboys liking to wear pants and climb trees and play sports came off very anachronistic. EVERYONE did those things. There weren't "boy things" that girls were shamed for doing. Nobody called other people tomboys, and I think someone who called herself that would have come off a bit like someone who held some negative stereotypes about the rest of the girls.

[Anonymous]

where do you live, op?

in some communities you'd fit in with no makeup or heels or girly clothes.

Silver Spring MD
Berkeley CA
Arlington MA

as examples

the women wear comfortable clothes, not a ton of makeup, dont look botoxed, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:where do you live, op?

in some communities you'd fit in with no makeup or heels or girly clothes.

Silver Spring MD
Berkeley CA
Arlington MA

as examples

the women wear comfortable clothes, not a ton of makeup, dont look botoxed, etc

Mostly, the women look just like the men do.