Middle-aged tomboys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.

When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.

I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.

I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.

I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.

Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.

OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.

It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.

After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.

The way I think about it is that not all men like to wear suits either. So they are essentially cosplaying when they have to put on a suit. One brother is a builder and when he wears clothes for a wedding it's definitely not his preference and he feels odd.

I'm "use to it" because I treat it like a costume. Today I'm cosplaying Nantucket lady going to brunch, tomorrow i'm cosplaying Denmark street clothes. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.

When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.

I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.

I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.

I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.

Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.

OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.

It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.

After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.

Can you do what Rachel Maddow does and put on makeup (for interviews), an impeccable suit, and a tad of hair styling? Then see where it goes, and what you have to keep up with? Good luck!

not OP

I feel like Diane Keaton ish when I dress for the work role more than a rachel maddow.

[Anonymous]

Be glad you grew up when you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you sound a bit gender neutral/asexual. Did you feel like you were repressed or not fitting in during your youth?

OP here and not sure if you're talking to me or the PP. I'm straight and don't consider myself asexual.

However, I almost never felt like I fit in, and still don't quite.

Do you feel as if you might be nonbinary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you sound a bit gender neutral/asexual. Did you feel like you were repressed or not fitting in during your youth?

OP here and not sure if you're talking to me or the PP. I'm straight and don't consider myself asexual.

However, I almost never felt like I fit in, and still don't quite.

Do you feel as if you might be nonbinary?

No OP but the other PP.

Probably. Oddly I took a test in HS that was supposed to show me my aptitude and help me figure out college majors. The assessor said, this test tells me you are a boy. hahahah.

I scored high in the areas boys scored high in and low in things girls scored high in.

I know it's not science and the assessor was joking. but...

Also, I really get guys, the way the thing the things they do (maybe because I have lots of brothers, nurture) and women stuff baffles me, though I've been able to learn some of it over the years.

My friend, who is like me, literally buys all her clothes in the men's section still... her niece is non-binary and she was like ... I don't get it, I'm like girl you are wearing a man's tshirt and shorts, what do you not get.

[Anonymous]

Still a tomboy at 52. I have a short barber cut, my makeup is moisturizer, brow pencil and lip gloss. I mostly wear pants. There was a time when I had to attend a couple of galas every year - I got a girl tux because gowns are not my thing, plus a tux saves lots of money. My college degree is in applied math and I work in a male dominated area.

Oh, and I have always been boy crazy, so there is no question I am straight. But people who don’t know me are sometimes surprised that I am married to a man.

[Anonymous]

I was a tomboy growing up, but started presenting as very feminine (long hair, makeup, nails, dresses) in my thirties because I found I got a better response, socially and at work.

[Anonymous]

I was a tomboy throughout elementary school. Skateboarder, all my friends were boys, only wore tshirts and shorts/pants. I'm a chapstick lady gay now! I still wear tshirts and jeans, but usually from the ladies section of the store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.

When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.

I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.

I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.

I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.

Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.

OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.

It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.

After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.

Can you do what Rachel Maddow does and put on makeup (for interviews), an impeccable suit, and a tad of hair styling? Then see where it goes, and what you have to keep up with? Good luck!

she’s like the quintessential tomboy

[Anonymous]

I was a tomboy because I have 4 brothers. I am married with one child, but I tend to like " male things" better than " female ones". I had Barbies, but I just liked chopping off their hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In some ways I was a tomboy - in that I was never into hair or makeup or Barbies and I liked to go fast and ride bikes. But in other ways I was girly - loved ballet and Broadway, museums and unicorns. I'm still mostly the same in my 40's. Maybe less with the unicorns.

It seems to me that kids now who would have been called tomboys think they're lesbians.

Similar here. I liked dolls, but never hair or make up, loved climbing trees, playing football with the boys, very active, and had (have) a bunch of brothers.

As an adult, I studied science and prefer camping and hiking to dressing up, still don’t wear makeup, etc. But I am straight, happily married to a man, will wear dresses if the occasion warrants, and like being a woman.

[Anonymous]

I briefly stopped my tomboy-ish fashion during college and a stint in NYC, and during another stint working in a major southern city.

But now I live in rural New England and have gone back to tomboy clothes and ways. My house reads very, very girly though. I know that younger women sometimes are confused about my sexual orientation but never say anything. Women my age and older don’t blink, probably because we were of the tomboy-not-the-same-as-lesbian era.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.

When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.

I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.

I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.

I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.

Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.

OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.

It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.

After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.

Can you do what Rachel Maddow does and put on makeup (for interviews), an impeccable suit, and a tad of hair styling? Then see where it goes, and what you have to keep up with? Good luck!

she’s like the quintessential tomboy

Really? I just thought she was a dressy lesbian.

[Anonymous]

I was never a tomboy growing up but I think some people view me that way now. I think as I get older, my face has a less feminine look to it. I have always dressed pretty much the same, in a lot of classics that can run unisex -- oxford shirts, straight leg jeans, crew neck tees and sweaters. I dont' look like a man but I don't go out of my way for my clothes to look feminine. Same with hair and makeup. I have longish hair and wear makeup most days but I guess it's understated.

A friend of mine says I don't look like a tomboy, I just look German. This is a good description of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you sound a bit gender neutral/asexual. Did you feel like you were repressed or not fitting in during your youth?

And here we go...