Middle-aged tomboys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is “Tomboy” still even a thing? Something people actually say?

There was some actor who recently died from the old show Green acres who recently passed. She played a “handywoman” named Ralph

It was amazing how people just didn’t go ok so she’s gay. Same era when Paul Lynde and Tony Randall got passes for supposedly being straight.

I had an uncle who died in his 80s who did everything but swing around lampposts in a top hat, tails and spats and everyone insisted he just “never found the right girl” … um, he wasn’t ever looking for a girl

Tony Randall was straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if that word is used anymore, but in the 80s and 90s that's what I was called.

I'm in my mid-40s now and still feel like a tomboy.

I've started to get curious about other people who were tomboys growing up. Do you still feel like you are? How has it impacted your relationships?

I hate the word 'tomboys' because it assumes that women aren't active you musy be a 'boy' or 'man' to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In some ways I was a tomboy - in that I was never into hair or makeup or Barbies and I liked to go fast and ride bikes. But in other ways I was girly - loved ballet and Broadway, museums and unicorns. I'm still mostly the same in my 40's. Maybe less with the unicorns.

It seems to me that kids now who would have been called tomboys think they're lesbians.

Loving broadway is 'girly?'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and grew up in England. Definitely a tomboy. I wore the label with a sense of pride back then.
However, I don’t like the term now because it implies certain activities and behaviors are for boys and I think that’s wrong. Riding bikes, climbing trees, playing sports, having short hair etc, are not “ boy” things.
DD is 13 and enjoys the same things I did although different sports. I haven’t labeled her a tomboy and have not heard anyone call her that either..

Yes! I agree 100percent. Let's stop labelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

True. But how girls and women look is being policed much more by society.

I was accused of being "trans" at a store recently by a fellow shopper. Nope, just a menopausal woman who doesn't feel like being uncomfortable anymore. Hot flashes are not conducive to me dressing up and knee problems nix the heels.

Apparently being tall and dressing more comfortable unisex now = trans in some people's eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

True. But how girls and women look is being policed much more by society.

I was accused of being "trans" at a store recently by a fellow shopper. Nope, just a menopausal woman who doesn't feel like being uncomfortable anymore. Hot flashes are not conducive to me dressing up and knee problems nix the heels.

Apparently being tall and dressing more comfortable unisex now = trans in some people's eyes.

False. Just about anything goes these days.

There might be new language/options but that’s not more “policing”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and grew up in England. Definitely a tomboy. I wore the label with a sense of pride back then.
However, I don’t like the term now because it implies certain activities and behaviors are for boys and I think that’s wrong. Riding bikes, climbing trees, playing sports, having short hair etc, are not “ boy” things.
DD is 13 and enjoys the same things I did although different sports. I haven’t labeled her a tomboy and have not heard anyone call her that either..

Yes! I agree 100percent. Let's stop labelling.

We cannot begin to restore DEIA unless we divide people into separate categories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

True. But how girls and women look is being policed much more by society.

I was accused of being "trans" at a store recently by a fellow shopper. Nope, just a menopausal woman who doesn't feel like being uncomfortable anymore. Hot flashes are not conducive to me dressing up and knee problems nix the heels.

Apparently being tall and dressing more comfortable unisex now = trans in some people's eyes.

False. Just about anything goes these days.

There might be new language/options but that’s not more “policing”.

Wrong. Now, if girls don’t wear feminine clothes or look like a MAGA Barbie, they are often labeled LGBTQ. Back in the day, tomboys were still 100% female

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

True. But how girls and women look is being policed much more by society.

I was accused of being "trans" at a store recently by a fellow shopper. Nope, just a menopausal woman who doesn't feel like being uncomfortable anymore. Hot flashes are not conducive to me dressing up and knee problems nix the heels.

Apparently being tall and dressing more comfortable unisex now = trans in some people's eyes.

False. Just about anything goes these days.

There might be new language/options but that’s not more “policing”.

When women are being thrown out of women’s bathrooms because they look male… Yes, that’s policing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and grew up in England. Definitely a tomboy. I wore the label with a sense of pride back then.
However, I don’t like the term now because it implies certain activities and behaviors are for boys and I think that’s wrong. Riding bikes, climbing trees, playing sports, having short hair etc, are not “ boy” things.
DD is 13 and enjoys the same things I did although different sports. I haven’t labeled her a tomboy and have not heard anyone call her that either..

Yes! I agree 100percent. Let's stop labelling.

OK, I agree. Let’s stop calling girls girls and boys boys cause that’s a label.

Well, stop calling Dr’s doctors and nurses nurses because that’s a label

[Anonymous]

i was a tomboy and still am. to me that means i speak my mind and don’t engage in dull hobbies (doll playing as a child, getting my hair done as an adult). i feel 100% like a woman though. i think the very definition of a tomboy means you are also female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

True. But how girls and women look is being policed much more by society.

I was accused of being "trans" at a store recently by a fellow shopper. Nope, just a menopausal woman who doesn't feel like being uncomfortable anymore. Hot flashes are not conducive to me dressing up and knee problems nix the heels.

Apparently being tall and dressing more comfortable unisex now = trans in some people's eyes.

False. Just about anything goes these days.

There might be new language/options but that’s not more “policing”.

Wrong. Now, if girls don’t wear feminine clothes or look like a MAGA Barbie, they are often labeled LGBTQ. Back in the day, tomboys were still 100% female

Because the belief was that most tomboys "grew out of it." Most people do go through a stage where they really want to meet a partner and have kids. Hence they start dressing up and looking more "girly." By middle age, with kids out of the way, it's a lot easier to go back to being a tomboy.

This is the kind of "tomboy" I am:

[Anonymous]

I was a tomboy — at least according to my family, but the label mostly fit. No dresses, no make up. Blunt and outspoken. Bad fingernails and didn’t like housework. Loved sports, especially watching them. Sports stats freak. I’m still the same in many ways, but my fashion sense changed during HS and, while still pretty non-fussy, includes dresses/is pretty normal. I’m a married lawyer with 3 kids and a great husband. My oldest girl asked for 30 kinds of skincare and tween make up products for Christmas; my parents find it amusing, especially since we’re very similar in other ways. But, other than the lack of makeup (except on special occasions), which sometimes attracts notice even now, no one would identify me as a tomboy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

True. But how girls and women look is being policed much more by society.

I was accused of being "trans" at a store recently by a fellow shopper. Nope, just a menopausal woman who doesn't feel like being uncomfortable anymore. Hot flashes are not conducive to me dressing up and knee problems nix the heels.

Apparently being tall and dressing more comfortable unisex now = trans in some people's eyes.

False. Just about anything goes these days.

There might be new language/options but that’s not more “policing”.

When women are being thrown out of women’s bathrooms because they look male… Yes, that’s policing

That’s just bigots gone wild.

It was even less acceptable for people who appear male to be in women’s in years past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and grew up in England. Definitely a tomboy. I wore the label with a sense of pride back then.
However, I don’t like the term now because it implies certain activities and behaviors are for boys and I think that’s wrong. Riding bikes, climbing trees, playing sports, having short hair etc, are not “ boy” things.
DD is 13 and enjoys the same things I did although different sports. I haven’t labeled her a tomboy and have not heard anyone call her that either..

Yes! I agree 100percent. Let's stop labelling.

OK, I agree. Let’s stop calling girls girls and boys boys cause that’s a label.

Well, stop calling Dr’s doctors and nurses nurses because that’s a label

That’s completely different. Some labels are relevant. A profession is a profession.
But labeling colors, clothing, sports, toys as for a certain gender needs to stop.
A girl wearing a dinosaur shirt because she likes dinosaurs shouldn’t be labeled as a tomboy.