Middle-aged tomboys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53 and grew up in England. Definitely a tomboy. I wore the label with a sense of pride back then.
However, I don’t like the term now because it implies certain activities and behaviors are for boys and I think that’s wrong. Riding bikes, climbing trees, playing sports, having short hair etc, are not “ boy” things.
DD is 13 and enjoys the same things I did although different sports. I haven’t labeled her a tomboy and have not heard anyone call her that either..

Agree. This implication is an insidious furtherance of the cisheterosexist patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a tomboy and still am. My husband doesn't care, obviously, he married me. I really don't understand the gender neutral thing, because I never questioned that I was a girl. Of course I was a girl!, just a girl who liked to wear pants, have short, unfussy hair, and who didn't want to be hemmed in by expectations of femininity for girls. I didn't see why I couldn't like both of what others classified as "girl" things and "boy" things and have both girls and boys for friends. I have always found it easy to talk to both women and men. I don't think it has ever harmed me socially.

Same! I was always a tomboy, but never questioned that I was female either. Happily married to a man. I have never worn skirts, dresses or heels, played a lot with boys growing up, but also always had close female friends. Only had a courthouse wedding, so no dress either. I think my family and friends would have found it more confusing if I had worn a dress for my wedding!

+1

Ditto to both of you. Have always been a tomboy and I still am. Jeans, T-shirt sneakers. I’ve been happily married to my husband for 25 years and was boy crazy before that. I wore a dress and makeup for my wedding and will occasionally wear a dress for a special occasions, which luckily happen maybe once every five years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if that word is used anymore, but in the 80s and 90s that's what I was called.

I'm in my mid-40s now and still feel like a tomboy.

I've started to get curious about other people who were tomboys growing up. Do you still feel like you are? How has it impacted your relationships?

I still wear men’s underwear briefs. I pack. If you don’t know what “packing” is, google it.

NGL I lol'd when I read this. Dude, this is gender dysphoria. I think you might have some "unpacking" to do.

🍌

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.

When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.

I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.

I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.

I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.

Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.

OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.

It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.

After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.

Can you do what Rachel Maddow does and put on makeup (for interviews), an impeccable suit, and a tad of hair styling? Then see where it goes, and what you have to keep up with? Good luck!

she’s like the quintessential tomboy

Really? I just thought she was a dressy lesbian.

I think most people don’t know the difference.

[Anonymous]

I'm an outdoorsy woman who was an adventurous girl, so some peg me as a tomboy. My day job is at a nature center type place with a park service type uniform.

I also Konmari-ed my wardrobe recently, and while I kept my weekend hiking clothes because they're useful, my extra girly dresses were the main things that sparked joy. Puffed sleeves and crinolines and all. Things entirely unpractical for wilderness, which is where I love to be. I love dressing up though have too few occasions.

What do I do with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an outdoorsy woman who was an adventurous girl, so some peg me as a tomboy. My day job is at a nature center type place with a park service type uniform.

I also Konmari-ed my wardrobe recently, and while I kept my weekend hiking clothes because they're useful, my extra girly dresses were the main things that sparked joy. Puffed sleeves and crinolines and all. Things entirely unpractical for wilderness, which is where I love to be. I love dressing up though have too few occasions.

What do I do with this?

Launch a cosplay TikTok,

[Anonymous]

Is “Tomboy” still even a thing? Something people actually say?

There was some actor who recently died from the old show Green acres who recently passed. She played a “handywoman” named Ralph

It was amazing how people just didn’t go ok so she’s gay. Same era when Paul Lynde and Tony Randall got passes for supposedly being straight.

I had an uncle who died in his 80s who did everything but swing around lampposts in a top hat, tails and spats and everyone insisted he just “never found the right girl” … um, he wasn’t ever looking for a girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is “Tomboy” still even a thing? Something people actually say?

There was some actor who recently died from the old show Green acres who recently passed. She played a “handywoman” named Ralph

It was amazing how people just didn’t go ok so she’s gay. Same era when Paul Lynde and Tony Randall got passes for supposedly being straight.

I had an uncle who died in his 80s who did everything but swing around lampposts in a top hat, tails and spats and everyone insisted he just “never found the right girl” … um, he wasn’t ever looking for a girl

no one thought Paul Lynde was straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is “Tomboy” still even a thing? Something people actually say?

There was some actor who recently died from the old show Green acres who recently passed. She played a “handywoman” named Ralph

It was amazing how people just didn’t go ok so she’s gay. Same era when Paul Lynde and Tony Randall got passes for supposedly being straight.

I had an uncle who died in his 80s who did everything but swing around lampposts in a top hat, tails and spats and everyone insisted he just “never found the right girl” … um, he wasn’t ever looking for a girl

Your so uninformed it’s wild how confident you sit in your ignorance.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 43 year old masculine presenting lesbian. I love being a tomboy.

[Anonymous]

Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 5'10" cis 56 year old who likes comfy clothes and practical shoes. Will wear minimal makeup but am so tired of all the girly maintenance and hot flashes and killed my style and fashion anyhow.

I was a "girly girl" growing up, but thankfully we had more options in the 1970s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I grew up when I did. I’m a 56 year-old married mom of 2 and a tomboy. That doesn’t make me lesbian, trans, or anything other than a non girly-girl. I like being a woman and I like some stereotypical girl activities, but I also like sports, fishing and boating, lawn care, cars, etc. I prefer comfy jeans and sneakers to dresses and heels, but I do wear those on occasion.
Girls now think they have to fit a very narrow definition of femininity to even BE a heterosexual female, which is insane.

False. Definitions and boundaries are fading.

Girls can be anything they want - much more now than anytime in the past.

[Anonymous]

Just curious of how other former/current tomboys might feel (or previously might have felt), did you ever have any attraction to girls/women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if that word is used anymore, but in the 80s and 90s that's what I was called.

I'm in my mid-40s now and still feel like a tomboy.

I've started to get curious about other people who were tomboys growing up. Do you still feel like you are? How has it impacted your relationships?

They're called "trans men" nowadays.