Help, sleeping arrangements

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, we always had to give up our room/s for family when they visited. This post shows an example of how we as a country are raising spoiled, entitled kids.

Seriously, I'm so glad I grew up in a culture where doing this wasn't even a question. If a relative needed my room I would sleep on a mattress on the floor in my parents' bedroom. I slept on the floor in my bedroom while my grandmother got my bed many times. And this was in a 5 bedroom house. The fondest memories of my childhood were holidays spent with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and all the cousins piled into one house with extra mattresses thrown everywhere possible.

That’s nice for you but her kids don’t want it so it wouldn’t be a fond memory. And if these are teen girls they should absolutely not be giving up bedrooms for unrelated men, that’s incredibly inappropriate.

They’re sharing a room so their aunt can sleep in a bed. A kid giving up a room for an aunt is completely normal in most families.

If their boys, and they want to, maybe. An unrelated man sleeping in a teenage girls bed? Not in my household.

I cant even imagine why this would bother you. You obviously change the sheets before and after. What is happening that would be so traumatizing? What is in your daughters room that a grown man cant be around?

Girls are entitled to their privacy. Having some random man (and thats what a boyfriend is…) their clothes, their personal care items, and in their bed is just gross. These kids have already said they don’t want it, and under no circumstances would I tell them they were wrong.

PUT THE AUNT'S BOYFRIEND ON THE COUCH. Let the aunt and her grown child share the kids room. Surely your teenage daughter can handle the idea of her own aunt and cousin sharing her living space for a few days. If not, good luck when she gets to college.

No college I know of does involuntary opposite-sex roommates. Let girls have boundaries, or don’t wring your hands when it turns out they don’t have boundaries….

You missed the part where the cousin is using her room while she sleeps in her sibling's room. She isn't even bunking with her cousin.

Its still inappropriate if she’s not comfortable with it. In college should she let some guy sleep in her room when she doesn’t want to, just to be nice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL obviously gets the guest room with the en suite. Your two teens share a room. SIL and her boyfriend get the other teen room. Adult son of SIL sleeps on the couch.

I don't really see the issue, but maybe I'm used to visiting family who don't live in mansions, or having family visit me and sleep on the couch. It is what it is. It's nice to see family.

+1

This is the way.

[Anonymous]

Are you all the same people who force toddlers to hug relatives they don’t want to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, we always had to give up our room/s for family when they visited. This post shows an example of how we as a country are raising spoiled, entitled kids.

Seriously, I'm so glad I grew up in a culture where doing this wasn't even a question. If a relative needed my room I would sleep on a mattress on the floor in my parents' bedroom. I slept on the floor in my bedroom while my grandmother got my bed many times. And this was in a 5 bedroom house. The fondest memories of my childhood were holidays spent with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and all the cousins piled into one house with extra mattresses thrown everywhere possible.

That’s nice for you but her kids don’t want it so it wouldn’t be a fond memory. And if these are teen girls they should absolutely not be giving up bedrooms for unrelated men, that’s incredibly inappropriate.

They’re sharing a room so their aunt can sleep in a bed. A kid giving up a room for an aunt is completely normal in most families.

If their boys, and they want to, maybe. An unrelated man sleeping in a teenage girls bed? Not in my household.

I cant even imagine why this would bother you. You obviously change the sheets before and after. What is happening that would be so traumatizing? What is in your daughters room that a grown man cant be around?

Girls are entitled to their privacy. Having some random man (and thats what a boyfriend is…) their clothes, their personal care items, and in their bed is just gross. These kids have already said they don’t want it, and under no circumstances would I tell them they were wrong.

The OP said they dont want to *share a room*, not that they don't want the SIL's partner sleeping in their bed. There is a big difference. Because the SIL's partner doesn't have to sleep in their bed. He can have the couch or an air mattress. But OP didn't say that was the problem she said her teens *sharing a room for a couple nights* was the problem. Which is what everyone is saying is stupid.

Plenty of people are saying we don’t make our kids uncomfortable for the holidays so entitled people can avoid getting a hotel.

“Plenty of people are saying we don’t have our kids share a room when family comes in town, because it’s normal to ask elderly relatives can stay the Motel 6 on Christmas Eve so our teenage children can each have a full bedroom without sharing” I think that’s what you meant to say. It’s certainly what is implied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, we always had to give up our room/s for family when they visited. This post shows an example of how we as a country are raising spoiled, entitled kids.

Seriously, I'm so glad I grew up in a culture where doing this wasn't even a question. If a relative needed my room I would sleep on a mattress on the floor in my parents' bedroom. I slept on the floor in my bedroom while my grandmother got my bed many times. And this was in a 5 bedroom house. The fondest memories of my childhood were holidays spent with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and all the cousins piled into one house with extra mattresses thrown everywhere possible.

That’s nice for you but her kids don’t want it so it wouldn’t be a fond memory. And if these are teen girls they should absolutely not be giving up bedrooms for unrelated men, that’s incredibly inappropriate.

They’re sharing a room so their aunt can sleep in a bed. A kid giving up a room for an aunt is completely normal in most families.

If their boys, and they want to, maybe. An unrelated man sleeping in a teenage girls bed? Not in my household.

I cant even imagine why this would bother you. You obviously change the sheets before and after. What is happening that would be so traumatizing? What is in your daughters room that a grown man cant be around?

Girls are entitled to their privacy. Having some random man (and thats what a boyfriend is…) their clothes, their personal care items, and in their bed is just gross. These kids have already said they don’t want it, and under no circumstances would I tell them they were wrong.

PUT THE AUNT'S BOYFRIEND ON THE COUCH. Let the aunt and her grown child share the kids room. Surely your teenage daughter can handle the idea of her own aunt and cousin sharing her living space for a few days. If not, good luck when she gets to college.

No college I know of does involuntary opposite-sex roommates. Let girls have boundaries, or don’t wring your hands when it turns out they don’t have boundaries….

You missed the part where the cousin is using her room while she sleeps in her sibling's room. She isn't even bunking with her cousin.

Its still inappropriate if she’s not comfortable with it. In college should she let some guy sleep in her room when she doesn’t want to, just to be nice?

Is the guy her cousin, and she isn’t even going to be on campus that weekend, and the alternative is her cousin sleeping on the floor somewhere or in a hotel that maybe he can’t afford? In that case, absolutely she should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you all the same people who force toddlers to hug relatives they don’t want to?

Never in a million years! But my toddlers come sleep on their nugget couches in my bedroom so that their adult relatives can have bedrooms over the holidays. No one is saying OPs teenagers need to sleep next to their cousin or their aunts friend. Or even interact with them. They just need to- gasp- interact with EACHOTHER by sharing a bedroom. Like most normal sisters do all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you all the same people who force toddlers to hug relatives they don’t want to?

Never in a million years! But my toddlers come sleep on their nugget couches in my bedroom so that their adult relatives can have bedrooms over the holidays. No one is saying OPs teenagers need to sleep next to their cousin or their aunts friend. Or even interact with them. They just need to- gasp- interact with EACHOTHER by sharing a bedroom. Like most normal sisters do all the time.

There’s nothing “normal“ about sharing a bedroom if you typically do not. Teenagers, particularly girls, also value privacy. It’s a normal human boundary. If it is such a non-issue to give up the bedroom then OP should give up hers to the elderly Aunt, but no one‘s making that suggestion.

[Anonymous]

I like the air mattress suggestion. As in, suggest THEY bring one.

How rude of them. I'd be quite blunt - "sorry, we just don't have the space this year. There's a hotel down the block, or you can see if Aunt Mary has room."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, we always had to give up our room/s for family when they visited. This post shows an example of how we as a country are raising spoiled, entitled kids.

Seriously, I'm so glad I grew up in a culture where doing this wasn't even a question. If a relative needed my room I would sleep on a mattress on the floor in my parents' bedroom. I slept on the floor in my bedroom while my grandmother got my bed many times. And this was in a 5 bedroom house. The fondest memories of my childhood were holidays spent with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and all the cousins piled into one house with extra mattresses thrown everywhere possible.

That’s nice for you but her kids don’t want it so it wouldn’t be a fond memory. And if these are teen girls they should absolutely not be giving up bedrooms for unrelated men, that’s incredibly inappropriate.

They’re sharing a room so their aunt can sleep in a bed. A kid giving up a room for an aunt is completely normal in most families.

If their boys, and they want to, maybe. An unrelated man sleeping in a teenage girls bed? Not in my household.

I cant even imagine why this would bother you. You obviously change the sheets before and after. What is happening that would be so traumatizing? What is in your daughters room that a grown man cant be around?

Girls are entitled to their privacy. Having some random man (and thats what a boyfriend is…) their clothes, their personal care items, and in their bed is just gross. These kids have already said they don’t want it, and under no circumstances would I tell them they were wrong.

PUT THE AUNT'S BOYFRIEND ON THE COUCH. Let the aunt and her grown child share the kids room. Surely your teenage daughter can handle the idea of her own aunt and cousin sharing her living space for a few days. If not, good luck when she gets to college.

No college I know of does involuntary opposite-sex roommates. Let girls have boundaries, or don’t wring your hands when it turns out they don’t have boundaries….

You missed the part where the cousin is using her room while she sleeps in her sibling's room. She isn't even bunking with her cousin.

Its still inappropriate if she’s not comfortable with it. In college should she let some guy sleep in her room when she doesn’t want to, just to be nice?

Is the guy her cousin, and she isn’t even going to be on campus that weekend, and the alternative is her cousin sleeping on the floor somewhere or in a hotel that maybe he can’t afford? In that case, absolutely she should.

But she is on campus. She is two rooms down in her sister‘s room with no privacy and no access to her own things or her own bed. She’s sleeping on the floor. This isn’t something I want my daughter doing for random guys, but perhaps your values are different.

[Anonymous]

SIL can share with MIL and the men can sleep in the living room. MIL is the one responsible for SIL‘s manners so she should be the one to suffer.

[Anonymous]

MIL gets the guest room, SIL + SIL's SO and SIL's DS get air mattresses.

My mother (or myour DH's mother) is always welcome to stay with us, and my kids double up to make that happen. Anyone else can look out for themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you all the same people who force toddlers to hug relatives they don’t want to?

Never in a million years! But my toddlers come sleep on their nugget couches in my bedroom so that their adult relatives can have bedrooms over the holidays. No one is saying OPs teenagers need to sleep next to their cousin or their aunts friend. Or even interact with them. They just need to- gasp- interact with EACHOTHER by sharing a bedroom. Like most normal sisters do all the time.

They are not the same gender, on is a girl one is a boy.

[Anonymous]

What is it with adults refusing to get a hotel? I don't get it. My in laws (siblings, not parents) claim they will sleep on the couch. Just get a hotel. Have some self respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is it with adults refusing to get a hotel? I don't get it. My in laws (siblings, not parents) claim they will sleep on the couch. Just get a hotel. Have some self respect.

It's mystifying, isn't it?! I hope OP reports back.

[Anonymous]

Maybe there's a nearby manager that they can crash in?

Seriously, they need to find a hotel.