PTAs: I don't want to donate money to facilitate adults socializing with their friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP never came back to give us examples of non-fundraising events.

I was the treasurer for a private preschool parent board and we had food at our monthly morning meetings. I wonder if people like OP thought we were skimming off the top to "socialize with our friends" but in reality we had a signup and everyone bought the donuts or muffins and coffee themselves. But I guess to people wanting to find wrongdoing it might have looked like we were using board money. As the treasurer, I knew we were not.

[Anonymous]

The lengths people will go to to justify not volunteering for their kids’ school is wild. If you want to have a say in how money is spent or how things are done, get involved. The absolute worst people are the ones who do nothing except complain, criticize, and suggest how the PTA could do things better, but never ever sign up to help with anything. If you think you can do it better, sign up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lengths people will go to to justify not volunteering for their kids’ school is wild. If you want to have a say in how money is spent or how things are done, get involved. The absolute worst people are the ones who do nothing except complain, criticize, and suggest how the PTA could do things better, but never ever sign up to help with anything. If you think you can do it better, sign up!

OP could simply sign up and take on a role with the real intent of stopping this waste. Why doesn't OP do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
Then don't donate. Spend your money and time how you so fit.

Easy.

You know OP begrudgingly donates about $10 a year then moans about where her dollars are going. Clearly doesn’t donate any time either if she has no idea what these events even are. Just save the $10 and do nothing. Nobody will notice.

Yeah if there is an event to thank people who have hundreds or thousands, the return to the school is worth it.

The only adult only event I can think of at our school is a volunteer thank you breakfast.

I disagree. It is a PTA that should be focused on the school not fundraising.

Ugh this makes me want to leave public school. If I give thousands and we get a thank you dinner, the school still makes money. Some people are so dumb.

Who is giving thousands to their public school PTA??

I’m pp. our high school sports get no funding for uniforms or any equipment. It seems standard to give $1000 for just boosters. Not everyone gives $1000 but anyone with means does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lengths people will go to to justify not volunteering for their kids’ school is wild. If you want to have a say in how money is spent or how things are done, get involved. The absolute worst people are the ones who do nothing except complain, criticize, and suggest how the PTA could do things better, but never ever sign up to help with anything. If you think you can do it better, sign up!

Arguably it is actually worse to use the PTA as your own outlet to get more influence at the school to favor your kid and your ideas. Sometimes this stuff is a zero sum game and it takes away from other kids and families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lengths people will go to to justify not volunteering for their kids’ school is wild. If you want to have a say in how money is spent or how things are done, get involved. The absolute worst people are the ones who do nothing except complain, criticize, and suggest how the PTA could do things better, but never ever sign up to help with anything. If you think you can do it better, sign up!

Arguably it is actually worse to use the PTA as your own outlet to get more influence at the school to favor your kid and your ideas. Sometimes this stuff is a zero sum game and it takes away from other kids and families.

What's the answer? The PTA can't be all things to all people. Your pet project may not be someone else's. But you really shouldn't complain when you don't get off your ass and at least try to get involved and speak up for those other kids and families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lengths people will go to to justify not volunteering for their kids’ school is wild. If you want to have a say in how money is spent or how things are done, get involved. The absolute worst people are the ones who do nothing except complain, criticize, and suggest how the PTA could do things better, but never ever sign up to help with anything. If you think you can do it better, sign up!

Arguably it is actually worse to use the PTA as your own outlet to get more influence at the school to favor your kid and your ideas. Sometimes this stuff is a zero sum game and it takes away from other kids and families.

Using the PTA to favor your kid and using the PTA to advance your own ideas of how a good PTA is run are two VERY different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lengths people will go to to justify not volunteering for their kids’ school is wild. If you want to have a say in how money is spent or how things are done, get involved. The absolute worst people are the ones who do nothing except complain, criticize, and suggest how the PTA could do things better, but never ever sign up to help with anything. If you think you can do it better, sign up!

Arguably it is actually worse to use the PTA as your own outlet to get more influence at the school to favor your kid and your ideas. Sometimes this stuff is a zero sum game and it takes away from other kids and families.

What's the answer? The PTA can't be all things to all people. Your pet project may not be someone else's. But you really shouldn't complain when you don't get off your ass and at least try to get involved and speak up for those other kids and families.

I have three kids, oldest now in high school. Parents often step up and lead events and activities their own kids are interested in. I’m not particularly passionate about band. One mom I know organizes fundraisers and does a lot with band. I happily donate when asked and drive my kid to practices when told.

My older kids are mostly into sports and I always offer to buy team meals.

For our elementary school, I am helping with bingo night and spelling bee because my child likes those events.

Those few parents who volunteer their time and efforts in activities their kids are NOT involved in are giving their time so people should be grateful to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lengths people will go to to justify not volunteering for their kids’ school is wild. If you want to have a say in how money is spent or how things are done, get involved. The absolute worst people are the ones who do nothing except complain, criticize, and suggest how the PTA could do things better, but never ever sign up to help with anything. If you think you can do it better, sign up!

Arguably it is actually worse to use the PTA as your own outlet to get more influence at the school to favor your kid and your ideas. Sometimes this stuff is a zero sum game and it takes away from other kids and families.

What's the answer? The PTA can't be all things to all people. Your pet project may not be someone else's. But you really shouldn't complain when you don't get off your ass and at least try to get involved and speak up for those other kids and families.

I have three kids, oldest now in high school. Parents often step up and lead events and activities their own kids are interested in. I’m not particularly passionate about band. One mom I know organizes fundraisers and does a lot with band. I happily donate when asked and drive my kid to practices when told.

My older kids are mostly into sports and I always offer to buy team meals.

For our elementary school, I am helping with bingo night and spelling bee because my child likes those events.

Those few parents who volunteer their time and efforts in activities their kids are NOT involved in are giving their time so people should be grateful to them.

You know the answer, and I know the answer, but OP is seething in silence that while she doesn't life a finger she's mad that people aren't focusing on her kids and their pet interests. But we know that if you want those things, you have to work for them. If sports needed new uniforms or equipment, those that most benefit from that are the ones leading the charge.

[Anonymous]

Some people on these PTAs just have very different values than I do. We had a lady who wanted to hire a local artist for $7,000 to paint a mural in the teacher’s lounge that no students or families would ever even see! Or the mom who wanted to get each teacher a $100 massage during teacher appreciation week. I also found out the PTA was buying expensive Christmas presents for certain students identified. I just don’t think that is the intended purpose of PTA funds, while the intent comes from a good place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people on these PTAs just have very different values than I do. We had a lady who wanted to hire a local artist for $7,000 to paint a mural in the teacher’s lounge that no students or families would ever even see! Or the mom who wanted to get each teacher a $100 massage during teacher appreciation week. I also found out the PTA was buying expensive Christmas presents for certain students identified. I just don’t think that is the intended purpose of PTA funds, while the intent comes from a good place.

So instead of just gossiping about how you “have very different values”, which is a less southern version of “bless your heart”, did you actually do any work to change things, to further your own “values” by putting in the effort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on these PTAs just have very different values than I do. We had a lady who wanted to hire a local artist for $7,000 to paint a mural in the teacher’s lounge that no students or families would ever even see! Or the mom who wanted to get each teacher a $100 massage during teacher appreciation week. I also found out the PTA was buying expensive Christmas presents for certain students identified. I just don’t think that is the intended purpose of PTA funds, while the intent comes from a good place.

So instead of just gossiping about how you “have very different values”, which is a less southern version of “bless your heart”, did you actually do any work to change things, to further your own “values” by putting in the effort?

What's wrong with getting teachers massages? I promise they would prefer that over some mug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on these PTAs just have very different values than I do. We had a lady who wanted to hire a local artist for $7,000 to paint a mural in the teacher’s lounge that no students or families would ever even see! Or the mom who wanted to get each teacher a $100 massage during teacher appreciation week. I also found out the PTA was buying expensive Christmas presents for certain students identified. I just don’t think that is the intended purpose of PTA funds, while the intent comes from a good place.

So instead of just gossiping about how you “have very different values”, which is a less southern version of “bless your heart”, did you actually do any work to change things, to further your own “values” by putting in the effort?

I highly doubt the mural would have cost the pta $7000. We got a mural of our school mascot one year and it cost a couple hundred dollars. It was for school spirit.

Our old school had people who got upset about teacher professional development. I once secured massages for the teachers but it was a donation from a local spa. I’m sure some people may have complained and thought I wasted pta funds.

Our school bought a bunch of furniture of ball chairs and standing desks one year. I didn’t like that. Our principal wanted new cafeteria tables but people thought that was a waste of money. People are not all going to agree on how to use the funds. Look at our government and the government shutdown!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP never came back to give us examples of non-fundraising events.

I was the treasurer for a private preschool parent board and we had food at our monthly morning meetings. I wonder if people like OP thought we were skimming off the top to "socialize with our friends" but in reality we had a signup and everyone bought the donuts or muffins and coffee themselves. But I guess to people wanting to find wrongdoing it might have looked like we were using board money. As the treasurer, I knew we were not.

Agree with this, OP is probably missing the sign up sheet to bring in food/donations for events. If the PTA is even spending funds on something, it’s less than $50!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on these PTAs just have very different values than I do. We had a lady who wanted to hire a local artist for $7,000 to paint a mural in the teacher’s lounge that no students or families would ever even see! Or the mom who wanted to get each teacher a $100 massage during teacher appreciation week. I also found out the PTA was buying expensive Christmas presents for certain students identified. I just don’t think that is the intended purpose of PTA funds, while the intent comes from a good place.

So instead of just gossiping about how you “have very different values”, which is a less southern version of “bless your heart”, did you actually do any work to change things, to further your own “values” by putting in the effort?

I’ve been on the PTA board for the last 9 years except 2021 and I’ve served as an executive board member. I volunteer constantly and put in more effort than most. I also donate, fundraise, and run signature events. But I’m not the sole decision maker and I’m also not there to argue with people. It’s just not worth it. But there’s always a few folks with very strong opinions and loud voices who think everyone else agrees with their priorities, which sometimes seem overpriced and frivolous to me.