Leaving Spouse with Dementia

[Anonymous]

They shouldn’t have gotten married is the issue, IMO. A two-year relationship at that age just isn’t the kind of connection that would prompt almost anyone to undertake the burden of caring for someone who, as a result of dementia, is basically not there anymore. It’s a giant sacrifice. So I wouldn’t judge OP’s brother as harshly as some, it’s not like bailing on your wife of two decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t have gotten married is the issue, IMO. A two-year relationship at that age just isn’t the kind of connection that would prompt almost anyone to undertake the burden of caring for someone who, as a result of dementia, is basically not there anymore. It’s a giant sacrifice. So I wouldn’t judge OP’s brother as harshly as some, it’s not like bailing on your wife of two decades.

Oh please. They are 60 not 16. They knew that they were both heading towards old age and sickness. OP’s brother is a selfish ass who bailed the moment things got hard. He is not fit to be anyone’s partner or husband.

[Anonymous]

wow what a jerk. Does "in sickness and in health" mean nothing to him? I really hope this doesn't happen to him karma would be a b right?

[Anonymous]

This is reasonable if the woman isn't interested in pursuing assisted suicide before the dementia becomes significantly debilitating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is reasonable if the woman isn't interested in pursuing assisted suicide before the dementia becomes significantly debilitating.

There is always one troll with the dumbest comment in every thread. Feel free to pursue assisted suicide before complete idiocy sets in for you.

[Anonymous]

I would never speak to him again as my brother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is is OP. She never had kids. She also had basically zero assets. He is wealthy. He divorced her because her dementia.

Divorce is very sensible under those circumstances, even if he intended to provide support.

Dementia is one of those conditions where you should reasonably expect to go on palliative/hospice care, if not begin arrangements for MAD. If that's not what you want, then you should be prepared to go on alone. It isn't reasonable to force others to go through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is is OP. She never had kids. She also had basically zero assets. He is wealthy. He divorced her because her dementia.

Divorce is very sensible under those circumstances, even if he intended to provide support.

Dementia is one of those conditions where you should reasonably expect to go on palliative/hospice care, if not begin arrangements for MAD. If that's not what you want, then you should be prepared to go on alone. It isn't reasonable to force others to go through that.

I sincerely hope your spouse divorces you as soon as you get sick if this is how you feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother married a woman about a year ago. He is in his 60s and so is she. She developed early onset dementia and now he is filing for divorce. He is moving on. I think on the one hand it was not a a long relationship, maybe 2 years in total. On the other hand, I wonder if he has any obligations to this woman. He says is too hard and doesnt want to see her and wont be seeing her again. He is looking forward to dating again.[/quote

Hope it happens to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is is OP. She never had kids. She also had basically zero assets. He is wealthy. He divorced her because her dementia.

Divorce is very sensible under those circumstances, even if he intended to provide support.

Dementia is one of those conditions where you should reasonably expect to go on palliative/hospice care, if not begin arrangements for MAD. If that's not what you want, then you should be prepared to go on alone. It isn't reasonable to force others to go through that.

I sincerely hope your spouse divorces you as soon as you get sick if this is how you feel.

They understand that I don't want heroic measures, and that goal would be to hasten death in the event of significant physical or mental impairments. In particular, I don't want to be treated in the event of a stroke if the alternative is death. They also understand I would make similar choices for them.

It is natural to die. We all do it. Don't be so selfish by putting your supposed loved ones through hell. Keeping dementia patients alive is one of the worst things to do. It can go on for years without meaningful quality of life for anyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is is OP. She never had kids. She also had basically zero assets. He is wealthy. He divorced her because her dementia.

Divorce is very sensible under those circumstances, even if he intended to provide support.

Dementia is one of those conditions where you should reasonably expect to go on palliative/hospice care, if not begin arrangements for MAD. If that's not what you want, then you should be prepared to go on alone. It isn't reasonable to force others to go through that.

I sincerely hope your spouse divorces you as soon as you get sick if this is how you feel.

They understand that I don't want heroic measures, and that goal would be to hasten death in the event of significant physical or mental impairments. In particular, I don't want to be treated in the event of a stroke if the alternative is death. They also understand I would make similar choices for them.

It is natural to die. We all do it. Don't be so selfish by putting your supposed loved ones through hell. Keeping dementia patients alive is one of the worst things to do. It can go on for years without meaningful quality of life for anyone involved.

Dementia patients do have periods when they regain memories and joy of life. It’s not like we can just choose to die. The decease develops slowly

Are our suggesting just dumping all such loved ones and letting them become bums ? Or kill them off ? The last person who suggested that was Hitler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow what a jerk. Does "in sickness and in health" mean nothing to him? I really hope this doesn't happen to him karma would be a b right?

In sickness and health is only expected of men. Read the threads on here written by women with husbands with health issues - it is all leave him, ditch him, if he isn't bringing in a lot of money or able to do all the housework and childcare then what is he good for? Walk away now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

Misandrist (you) hating on men.
Like women don't also do the same thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is is OP. She never had kids. She also had basically zero assets. He is wealthy. He divorced her because her dementia.

Divorce is very sensible under those circumstances, even if he intended to provide support.

Dementia is one of those conditions where you should reasonably expect to go on palliative/hospice care, if not begin arrangements for MAD. If that's not what you want, then you should be prepared to go on alone. It isn't reasonable to force others to go through that.

I sincerely hope your spouse divorces you as soon as you get sick if this is how you feel.

They understand that I don't want heroic measures, and that goal would be to hasten death in the event of significant physical or mental impairments. In particular, I don't want to be treated in the event of a stroke if the alternative is death. They also understand I would make similar choices for them.

It is natural to die. We all do it. Don't be so selfish by putting your supposed loved ones through hell. Keeping dementia patients alive is one of the worst things to do. It can go on for years without meaningful quality of life for anyone involved.

Dementia patients do have periods when they regain memories and joy of life. It’s not like we can just choose to die. The decease develops slowly

Are our suggesting just dumping all such loved ones and letting them become bums ? Or kill them off ? The last person who suggested that was Hitler

People can choose to die. But we should make it easier people to act on that choice. People shouldn't have to turn to the black market or DIY kits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wow what a jerk. Does "in sickness and in health" mean nothing to him? I really hope this doesn't happen to him karma would be a b right?

In sickness and health is only expected of men. Read the threads on here written by women with husbands with health issues - it is all leave him, ditch him, if he isn't bringing in a lot of money or able to do all the housework and childcare then what is he good for? Walk away now.

You mean all these alcoholics?