Leaving Spouse with Dementia
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Anonymous
Okay, that's cruel. |
Anonymous
| This is exhibit #100 for reasons why older people should not remarry. If you are past childbearing age and have already been married/had children, you shouldn't remarry. Men only want a housekeeper and women only want a money bag. |
Anonymous
Well you are wrong. More women don't leave men when they become disabled, but the opposite is statistically true. More men leave their wives when they are sick or disabled. |
Anonymous
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Roughly 6x more in the 2009 study (20% to 3%ish) but i didnt dig into what populations etc. Still 80% stay, which is better than you'd expect readithe thread. I will also bet that womens number will rise along with their economic freedom.
Still is terrible, no excuses. Its clear why he did it but it makes him a horrible person full stop. |
Anonymous
| Yeah you can divorce him. |
Anonymous
That's why none of our widowed mothers remarried in my college friend group. As one memorably explained, "All these guys want is a nurse or a purse." Women have their own assets to protect. |
Anonymous
Can your uncle or someone else at least help her with the steps necessary to qualify for a medicaid facility? If she has no assets and no family, she should be able to qualify for some help, but it's challenging to manage alone, especially if she already has symptoms. |
Anonymous
Exactly. He was looking for someone to be his nursemaid in old age and once he figured out that isn't going to happen, he dropped her instantly. Truly vile behavior. |
Anonymous
Men do this a lot, though. I think caretaking men are the exception rather than the rule, and they do it because they have decades of goodwill and want to shield their kids from as much of the costs and labor as possible. As women, we almost need to expect the worst and plan accordingly. |
Anonymous
That’s sad, but being a girlfriend instead of a wife is less of a commitment. She stayed and was a caregiver to the man she vowed to stay with in sickness and in health. In OP’s relative’s case, he’s bailing on his vows because he didn’t really mean them. |
Anonymous
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Have relatives in memory care and the early onset cases are really sad. I knew one woman whose husband ghosted her then divorced her -- her sister had to step in and manage all her care. So your brother isn't the only one.
I don't understand why she can't be put in a nice place if the assets are there. That's just cruel to put someone in a depressing place. There are plenty of really nice places around. It gets to a point where the visits are pointless but at the very least put them some place you'd want to be if the tables were turned. |
Anonymous
Wow, that is incredibly cruel. Your brother lacks a moral compass. It is just wrong to abandon a vulnerable spouse who is unable to care for herself because she is ill. The length of the marriage and age when they married are irrelevant. Any decent dating prospect will run when she finds out what he did. I hope karma gets him. |
Anonymous
WTH. Vows are vows no matter when they were made. OP's brother has poor character. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Women build a support network of friends. ^^^ fixed that for you |