Leaving Spouse with Dementia

[Anonymous]

The real question here is why he wanted to marry her in the first place? Seems he likes being single? And there really wasn’t/isn’t any reason for people to remarry at 60+.

[Anonymous]

That is really demented

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who would date him after this? Nobody with good values. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with him.

Agreed. What a shady POS. No way I’d want to include this person in my friends or social group.

This. It's also sad that women are minimizing the cruelty in deserting her.

[Anonymous]

Good for him. So many ppl stuck in relationships that are hindering their lives, and for what? It’s not like it’s a 20 year marriage or his parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

Women do stuff like this to their husbands more than the other way around.

Statistically false.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

Women do stuff like this to their husbands more than the other way around.

Statistically false.

Are you sure? For a 60 year old, 2nd marriage of 1 year.

Sure, long term marriages, women stay more than men, but 2nd marriages. I don't think so. I'd also add more women leave because more men become disabled 1st.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who would date him after this? Nobody with good values. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with him.

Agreed. What a shady POS. No way I’d want to include this person in my friends or social group.

This. It's also sad that women are minimizing the cruelty in deserting her.

We don’t know all the facts - maybe he’s getting out of the way. I doubt her adult children want him around making decisions about their mother’s end of life care or inheriting any of their mother‘s assets when she passes - at this stage of such a short relationship he’s really more of a nuisance than anything Also being with her risks him drawing down all of his assets, and not having nothing left for his end of life care. People over 60 really shouldn’t get remarried. It makes a giant mess of families, end-of-life and estate planning, etc.

[Anonymous]

https://www.caseysimmonsandbryant.com/blog/2022/july/divorcing-a-spouse-with-alzheimer-s-disease-or-d/

[Anonymous]

Did he file for divorce based on the fact that she was diagnosed w/dementia??

If this is the case, he most certainly is a jerk since I am pretty sure he vowed to say by her side in sickness ➕ in health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real question here is why he wanted to marry her in the first place? Seems he likes being single? And there really wasn’t/isn’t any reason for people to remarry at 60+.

Agree. Makes no sense. No benefits, all risk, likely didn’t commingle anything at that age (unless either or both are totally stupid).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

Women do stuff like this to their husbands more than the other way around.

Statistically false.

Are you sure? For a 60 year old, 2nd marriage of 1 year.

Sure, long term marriages, women stay more than men, but 2nd marriages. I don't think so. I'd also add more women leave because more men become disabled 1st.

My widower uncle's girlfriend ditched him when he needed surgery because she had already nursed her former husband and wasn't going to do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is a POS but so you are. You speak only in the perspective of, what does he owe her? He owes her, her vows. He made the decision to marry later in life, this is something that should have been thought about. What comes around goes around.

This is OP. I am actually quite upset by it and I'm having a hard time having a relationship with my brother now. He has really abandoned her. He is wealthy and she has both medicare and long term care, so it is not about finances. He is one of those guys who wants to be taken care like a child and doesnt lift a finger. So when she became sick, it is like he turned off a switch that she was no longer going to be there for him. What also shocks me even more is that once she left (she went to a rather depressing facility) he has made every excuse not to visit (too far, nothing to do, can't handle it emotionally) and basically is done with her altogether and roaring to date. So it upsets me to watch this.

Does she have kids or other family?

[Anonymous]

People on this board are always warning posters considering second or later life marriages to be very careful and never put themselves in a position to be a caregiver to their spouse. Don't be a nurse or a purse is an often repeated phrase on here. Seems your brother is doing exactly what most posters on here would do themselves and advocate for others to do - and not be a nurse or a purse.

[Anonymous]

This is is OP. She never had kids. She also had basically zero assets. He is wealthy. He divorced her because her dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

Women do stuff like this to their husbands more than the other way around.

Statistically false.

Are you sure? For a 60 year old, 2nd marriage of 1 year.

Sure, long term marriages, women stay more than men, but 2nd marriages. I don't think so. I'd also add more women leave because more men become disabled 1st.

My widower uncle's girlfriend ditched him when he needed surgery because she had already nursed her former husband and wasn't going to do it again.

Fair. It's one thing when you have 30+ years of goodwill, and in some cases, you want to spare your shared children from having to derail their own lives to care for your longtime spouse. It's completely different when it's a new relationship with no shared kids and you've already spent years as someone else's caregiver.