Weird evolution of recently rich friend

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I've experienced this before myself, and my take away is this is why rich people like to hang out with other rich people. It's just easier and they don't need to feel "weird" or "self conscious" about what is normal in their circles.

[Anonymous]

I notice that the people who are bothered most by this type of thing (which isn’t something I do/ have stuff to do it about so I’m not being defensive) are often people who grew up with a lot of privilege but don’t have as much money as adults.

Like, it doesn’t occur to them to not talk abt their private school reunion/staying with aunt Louise at their adorable place on the cape/how they ended up at brown bc dad was pushy about attending his Alma mater, but a friend gets a new gig and mentions they are planning a trip to Europe and they are seething inside.

Not saying that’s what’s going on with you, op, but worth considering if that’s at plan, because it’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people enjoy one-upping others, especially when it comes to money. Maybe the friend is just going through an adjustment stage and will settle down. But maybe not.

I'd give it some time and if it doesn't change, I'd slowly fade.

It's only one-upping to the insecure and frankly, poor. To the rich it's just a normal conversation. Rich people do in fact casually talk about big time real estate purchases, rebuilds, renovations... pricey luxury vacations... how their new 2025 911 Porsche is subtly so much better than the 2023 model they traded in.

It is tiresome to talk only about material things, regardless of income. My brother and SIL are much more well off than the rest of us, but we talk about family, work, entertainment, the news, books, health, pets, etc.

Even those can be conversational avenues to money.
Health - we loooove our concierge doctor. Do you want her number?
Books - I buy so many books now. I think I’ve had time to read only one I’ve been sooo busy with the remodel. Hey but at least our living room bookshelves look nice and full
Pets - I know ‘adopt don’t shop’ but we love our breeder. $7k later and we love our little Sam. He is so spoiled. We got him his own doggy house but it’s his ‘style,’ you want to see it, it’s adorable. Just don’t mind the pool construction as we walk past.

PP you nailed it! Spot on. This is exactly how my nouveau riche long-time friend talks now. For ~13 years she managed to talk about how much fun she had playing frisbee with dog Beau in the park, or how worried she was when Beau developed a limp. Now, $20 million lump sum later, any dog conversation omits those kinds of universal dog topics and veers immediately to the **ticket price** of Beau’s private hydrotherapy or concierge pick up/drop off day camp.

Previously the cost of the frisbee did not enter the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Odds are it’s just a matter of time before her husband is getting sued for some shady business practice.

Most wealth comes from screwing over other people.

[Anonymous]

A poor person or a rich person can be a bore. Was she always boring?

[Anonymous]

OP. It doesn’t have to be this way. I have a lovely friend whose net worth probably has an extra zero relative to ours. We talk about buying Things. She suggests Things. I can’t afford the Things. She says okay. It doesn’t faze either of us at all. We’re friends.

The problem is that your friend is perseverating on her money, which is new to her. ( Note that I’m avoiding the pejorative term new money.) She’s understandably exciting and processing the change. I’d have an honest conversation. Of course you’re thrilled that they went to that they had this or that fancy experience. You just notice that we’re talking less about X and Y. And price tags are brought up, which they never were before. It’ll probably hurt her feelings, but a good friendship is worth a hard conversation. If she huffs off, then you have your answer.