Rattled by a friend’s comment- what did she really mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The next time you see your friend, she’ll be wearing a MAGA hat biting into a big, meaty burger, talking about she can’t believe how stupid she was until Trump came, like an angel from heaven, and opened her eyes to the truth.

Omg! Not eating meat!!!!

Wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a "woke" town before that was really a thing and it could be a lot sometimes. I'm liberal, anti -Trump but sometimes I roll my eyes at the extreme people go to. I wouldn't think too much about it without asking her what she means.

Same. Plenty of liberals and anti-Trump people are also sick of the "woke" stuff. Language policing, cancel culture. virtue signaling. Usually dripping with condescending and judgment. It's the how some liberals go about it, not the underlying positions.

If you were actually against this, you'd know repubs are the biggest cancel culture folks. Bud light anyone?

This is the comment of someone who never learned to argue. Nobody said any different. But that doesn’t make the woke better-than-thou perspective any better.

It’s weird to use cancel culture as an example of “woke” when it’s used a ton by the “anti-woke”. I’m not saying it’s better, it’s just hypocritical to say “that’s a woke thing” and then turn around and do the exact thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m liberal a knee jerk one and I find my friends in Seattle EXHAUSTING. If you don’t know why, it’s holding Black Lives Matter block parties with vegan snacks and local fruits. It’s just performative.

Wut? Local fruits are now “woke”? This is why it’s so hard to take people who “hate woke” seriously lol. Fruits?!?!

Protesting the importation of fruits and making people eating apples from non local places feel as if they are criminals who are causing all kinds of issues is indeed political and is annoying AF. If you don’t get that there is no helping you

Pp didn’t say that, quite the imagination you have for making up that story though.

[Anonymous]

The absolute horror that she doesn’t think exactly like you do!!! OMG whatever will you do?!

We know what you’ll do, you’ll do what every Democrat does. You abandon her until 10 years from now when you realize she was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The absolute horror that she doesn’t think exactly like you do!!! OMG whatever will you do?!

We know what you’ll do, you’ll do what every Democrat does. You abandon her until 10 years from now when you realize she was right.

Don't know one democrat who's done that.
The book banners have never been on the right side of history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The absolute horror that she doesn’t think exactly like you do!!! OMG whatever will you do?!

We know what you’ll do, you’ll do what every Democrat does. You abandon her until 10 years from now when you realize she was right.

Don't know one democrat who's done that.
The book banners have never been on the right side of history.

Oh please, click on your Amazon button, lo behold “banned” books will magically appear for your household consumption

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a "woke" town before that was really a thing and it could be a lot sometimes. I'm liberal, anti -Trump but sometimes I roll my eyes at the extreme people go to. I wouldn't think too much about it without asking her what she means.

Same. Plenty of liberals and anti-Trump people are also sick of the "woke" stuff. Language policing, cancel culture. virtue signaling. Usually dripping with condescending and judgment. It's the how some liberals go about it, not the underlying positions.

Ok…OP here but again, we basically lived in a bland little bubble where I can’t imagine it was more or less “woke” than where she moved back to. That’s why I’m so baffled by her comment.

I guess it might be what others said and a sort of testing of the waters to see how I feel about things. I didn’t reply because I was so startled by the comment and the kids came up to us with some kind of elaborate demand so there wasn’t room to continue the conversation anyway.

Idiots on this board got mad when someone used the word "tribe." You can be liberal or even a leftist and think that kind of idiocy is not something you would miss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a "woke" town before that was really a thing and it could be a lot sometimes. I'm liberal, anti -Trump but sometimes I roll my eyes at the extreme people go to. I wouldn't think too much about it without asking her what she means.

Same. Plenty of liberals and anti-Trump people are also sick of the "woke" stuff. Language policing, cancel culture. virtue signaling. Usually dripping with condescending and judgment. It's the how some liberals go about it, not the underlying positions.

Ok…OP here but again, we basically lived in a bland little bubble where I can’t imagine it was more or less “woke” than where she moved back to. That’s why I’m so baffled by her comment.

I guess it might be what others said and a sort of testing of the waters to see how I feel about things. I didn’t reply because I was so startled by the comment and the kids came up to us with some kind of elaborate demand so there wasn’t room to continue the conversation anyway.

Idiots on this board got mad when someone used the word "tribe." You can be liberal or even a leftist and think that kind of idiocy is not something you would miss.

What’s wrong with tribe ?

NP. If I had to take a guess, I would think it’s something to do with “co-opting Native American culture” but I also don’t know.

OP, I am a (millennial, Asian) Democrat who also hates “woke stuff.” I will openly talk about this with my close friends, all of whom are Democrats and not MAGA-esque in their politics. I don’t find this to be a weird comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a "woke" town before that was really a thing and it could be a lot sometimes. I'm liberal, anti -Trump but sometimes I roll my eyes at the extreme people go to. I wouldn't think too much about it without asking her what she means.

Same. Plenty of liberals and anti-Trump people are also sick of the "woke" stuff. Language policing, cancel culture. virtue signaling. Usually dripping with condescending and judgment. It's the how some liberals go about it, not the underlying positions.

Ok…OP here but again, we basically lived in a bland little bubble where I can’t imagine it was more or less “woke” than where she moved back to. That’s why I’m so baffled by her comment.

I guess it might be what others said and a sort of testing of the waters to see how I feel about things. I didn’t reply because I was so startled by the comment and the kids came up to us with some kind of elaborate demand so there wasn’t room to continue the conversation anyway.

Idiots on this board got mad when someone used the word "tribe." You can be liberal or even a leftist and think that kind of idiocy is not something you would miss.

What’s wrong with tribe ?

NP. If I had to take a guess, I would think it’s something to do with “co-opting Native American culture” but I also don’t know.

OP, I am a (millennial, Asian) Democrat who also hates “woke stuff.” I will openly talk about this with my close friends, all of whom are Democrats and not MAGA-esque in their politics. I don’t find this to be a weird comment.

So many democrats will talk about being anti-woke around people they know agree. The thought police come out in force if you say it in front of the wrong people. Most people I know resemble none of the performative bs I see online or in the news (or on DCUM).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was telling you she voted for Trump. I don't know if she wanted you to be "one of the good ones" and signal back that you did too, or if she was trying to subtly gloat that her side is ascendant so now she doesn't have to pretend to care anymore about "celebrating all the holidays" and "having civil discourse with people in an interracial marriage."

This. I'm as liberal as they come- and sometimes some things can be over the top even for me. I still don't use the MAGA-co-opted word 'woke' to describe this. It's a dog whistle. To have asked 'tell me more about what you mean?' would have resulted in you learning further details on what you don't want to be true. This is better. You can pretend not to know this about her and remain friends or let this die so she can commit to her red-pill rabbit hole echo chamber location.

Maybe to you, being liberal as they come, the word “woke” is a dog whistle. I think to most people, the word “woke” embodies why the Dems lost the election to one of the weakest presidential candidates in history. The far left lost this elections, not your average Dems, and your average Dem wouldn’t be offended or “rattled” by someone not liking “woke” culture.

PP here and I totally agree except on one point- that word- "woke" and yes, one can make it 'my problem' that the word is a hangup but I am far from alone with use of this alienating word. It sums up the polarization of MAGA vs 'alt left' and why the twain does not meet. One side cares in a very specific way about topics that are polarizing to some/many. The other side is offended at even being asked to consider caring in a very specific way due to said polarization. No middle ground.

It's the use of the word that concerns me- and I am not sure everyone is aware of it's origins. Which is part of the problem. Again, because it's a dog whistle as its use is now pejorative. It's no longer a compliment or an indicator of human-rights enlightenment. Not sure what's more offensive than taking a positive AAVE word, assigning negativity to it/ bastardizing the meaning and co-opting it so that it's intended use no longer exists. Very Machiavellian. Same with use of of the word 'patriot'. It used to mean something else/not have a negative connotation, but nowadays, if someone is using that word- the word 'patriot' is not actually what they are signaling.

Some people may truly be ignorant that they are using an offensive term (no matter what term that is- as there are many), but when you know better, you do better. If you care to. It's not a fight/enlightenment I'd bother picking with someone unless I knew the person very well and I knew they didn't want to come off the way they were by their use of language.

Words ARE just words. But certain words exacerbate/perpetuate the polarization so there is no mediation for middle of the road 'common sense' people regardless of party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was telling you she voted for Trump. I don't know if she wanted you to be "one of the good ones" and signal back that you did too, or if she was trying to subtly gloat that her side is ascendant so now she doesn't have to pretend to care anymore about "celebrating all the holidays" and "having civil discourse with people in an interracial marriage."

This. I'm as liberal as they come- and sometimes some things can be over the top even for me. I still don't use the MAGA-co-opted word 'woke' to describe this. It's a dog whistle. To have asked 'tell me more about what you mean?' would have resulted in you learning further details on what you don't want to be true. This is better. You can pretend not to know this about her and remain friends or let this die so she can commit to her red-pill rabbit hole echo chamber location.

Maybe to you, being liberal as they come, the word “woke” is a dog whistle. I think to most people, the word “woke” embodies why the Dems lost the election to one of the weakest presidential candidates in history. The far left lost this elections, not your average Dems, and your average Dem wouldn’t be offended or “rattled” by someone not liking “woke” culture.

PP here and I totally agree except on one point- that word- "woke" and yes, one can make it 'my problem' that the word is a hangup but I am far from alone with use of this alienating word. It sums up the polarization of MAGA vs 'alt left' and why the twain does not meet. One side cares in a very specific way about topics that are polarizing to some/many. The other side is offended at even being asked to consider caring in a very specific way due to said polarization. No middle ground.

It's the use of the word that concerns me- and I am not sure everyone is aware of it's origins. Which is part of the problem. Again, because it's a dog whistle as its use is now pejorative. It's no longer a compliment or an indicator of human-rights enlightenment. Not sure what's more offensive than taking a positive AAVE word, assigning negativity to it/ bastardizing the meaning and co-opting it so that it's intended use no longer exists. Very Machiavellian. Same with use of of the word 'patriot'. It used to mean something else/not have a negative connotation, but nowadays, if someone is using that word- the word 'patriot' is not actually what they are signaling.

Some people may truly be ignorant that they are using an offensive term (no matter what term that is- as there are many), but when you know better, you do better. If you care to. It's not a fight/enlightenment I'd bother picking with someone unless I knew the person very well and I knew they didn't want to come off the way they were by their use of language.

Words ARE just words. But certain words exacerbate/perpetuate the polarization so there is no mediation for middle of the road 'common sense' people regardless of party.

Woke isn’t a dog whistle. It a short hand for all the stupid shït going on on the left. It used to be “political correct”. It’s just like maga is short hand for all the stupid shït on the right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in Maryland near a friend. Then we both relocated to the west coast and ended up in the same neighborhood and our kids went to the same private school. Yay! While our west coast city was pretty different than the east coast, it wasn’t Portland or somewhere like that and I would say most people cared less about politics than money, real estate and home renovations, for better or for worse. Our school stayed out of the fray save for raising money for financial aid and celebrating the holidays of the cultures of all of the families in attendance. Our school community was very diverse, and my own family is mixed- I am white and DH is Asian.

Friend moved away last year. Then came to visit and we were chatting and I asked what she missed. She said “not the woke stuff”.

I’m feeling really weird about that and am extrapolating all sorts of things. I know it gets tossed around on the internet and fox news but I’ve never heard someone use it in conversation.

Why didn't you ask her "which woke stuff"? You'd have learned something about your friend.

Agree. I don't understand why you are taking what sounds like an incredibly vague statement and basically making up an ideology.

For the record, I am a progressive Democrat who never watches Fox News, is not MAGA and would never vote for Trump, likes AOC, campaigned for Kamala, etc. and I sometimes get annoyed by "the woke stuff." By which I mean sometimes my fellow progressives engage in what I view to be performative posturing that is mostly to make people think of them a certain way or to feel superior, and it gets old. I live on Capitol Hill in DC and have many neighbors with yards filled with signs proclaiming all their values and I privately roll my eyes at it even though, hate also has no home in my house. Sometimes people here get into passive aggressive competitions about who is more environmentally conscious (do you commute on an e-bike? do you own a composter? have you converted to solar?) and I laugh to myself because these conversations are actually very elitist (e-bikes, which we also have, cost thousands and are only a feasible option if you live in an expensive area that isn't car dependent, not everyone has the time or space to compost at home, solar panels are a very expensive upfront cost and require that you own a single family home to install, etc.). This is the kind of think I am thinking of when I think about "the woke stuff."

I don't think being progressive or caring about racism or trying to be a decent human being instead of a soulless ghoul like Trump is "woke." To me, that's just baseline. I have friends who are former Republicans (left the party because of Trump) who meet this criteria even though they are politically much more conservative than I am.

So I think you should explore your friend's comment a bit more. I doubt it means what you think it means.

Excellent take. People saying she definitely voted for Trump are so off base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was telling you she voted for Trump. I don't know if she wanted you to be "one of the good ones" and signal back that you did too, or if she was trying to subtly gloat that her side is ascendant so now she doesn't have to pretend to care anymore about "celebrating all the holidays" and "having civil discourse with people in an interracial marriage."

This. I'm as liberal as they come- and sometimes some things can be over the top even for me. I still don't use the MAGA-co-opted word 'woke' to describe this. It's a dog whistle. To have asked 'tell me more about what you mean?' would have resulted in you learning further details on what you don't want to be true. This is better. You can pretend not to know this about her and remain friends or let this die so she can commit to her red-pill rabbit hole echo chamber location.

Maybe to you, being liberal as they come, the word “woke” is a dog whistle. I think to most people, the word “woke” embodies why the Dems lost the election to one of the weakest presidential candidates in history. The far left lost this elections, not your average Dems, and your average Dem wouldn’t be offended or “rattled” by someone not liking “woke” culture.

PP here and I totally agree except on one point- that word- "woke" and yes, one can make it 'my problem' that the word is a hangup but I am far from alone with use of this alienating word. It sums up the polarization of MAGA vs 'alt left' and why the twain does not meet. One side cares in a very specific way about topics that are polarizing to some/many. The other side is offended at even being asked to consider caring in a very specific way due to said polarization. No middle ground.

It's the use of the word that concerns me- and I am not sure everyone is aware of it's origins. Which is part of the problem. Again, because it's a dog whistle as its use is now pejorative. It's no longer a compliment or an indicator of human-rights enlightenment. Not sure what's more offensive than taking a positive AAVE word, assigning negativity to it/ bastardizing the meaning and co-opting it so that it's intended use no longer exists. Very Machiavellian. Same with use of of the word 'patriot'. It used to mean something else/not have a negative connotation, but nowadays, if someone is using that word- the word 'patriot' is not actually what they are signaling.

Some people may truly be ignorant that they are using an offensive term (no matter what term that is- as there are many), but when you know better, you do better. If you care to. It's not a fight/enlightenment I'd bother picking with someone unless I knew the person very well and I knew they didn't want to come off the way they were by their use of language.

Words ARE just words. But certain words exacerbate/perpetuate the polarization so there is no mediation for middle of the road 'common sense' people regardless of party.

Thank you for giving the perfect example of what OP’s friend is glad to be away from.

[Anonymous]

I think you feeling “rattled” by your friend’s “woke stuff” comment is overkill.

Her statement was simply a general, basic opinion imo.

I personally would not let such a trivial statement bother me. 🤷🏻

[Anonymous]

That op would be “rattled” by this interaction tells me exactly why her friend was glad to get away from this community. Op sounds unhinged. If ops views are the norm, it would have been very tiring living there, even for most liberals.