Rattled by a friend’s comment- what did she really mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rattled by OP’s reaction to her friend’s comment. She’s not entitled to her views? She cannot be upset about how far left the left has gone? I think it’s super weird that everyone is judging her for being sick of woke politics.

Precisely. This entire thread, starting with OP being "rattled" by an innocuous comment, is Exhibit A in how completely nutty many Democrats have become. "Block her! She's a racist!" Clearly, there are mental issues at play here.

+1 You're not allowed to have a dissenting opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a "woke" town before that was really a thing and it could be a lot sometimes. I'm liberal, anti -Trump but sometimes I roll my eyes at the extreme people go to. I wouldn't think too much about it without asking her what she means.

This. You can be liberal and still also find certain "woke" politics and behavior to be obnoxious.

If the two parties are now MAGA and "woke" then we are really, really screwed.

Yes. Extreme, performative wokeness had a lot to do with the Orange one being elected again.

Yes wake up OP, your friend isn’t the problem. Shocker she has an opinion not inline with yours sheesh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a "woke" town before that was really a thing and it could be a lot sometimes. I'm liberal, anti -Trump but sometimes I roll my eyes at the extreme people go to. I wouldn't think too much about it without asking her what she means.

This. It could be a range of things.

Your friend could have good opinions / a variety of opinions.

But maybe it’s been pushy, especially in your face in different areas or schools.

[Anonymous]

Woke is certainly as illiberal as they come. We have 2 sides that both permit 0 deviation from their religious beliefs. It’s woke vs maga and in their mind if you’re not with me you’re against me. There’s no room for free thought or different viewpoints.

[Anonymous]

I used to live in an ultra conservative town and it was stifling. The dominant beliefs and norms of people in your city are not in line with hers, and moving away is like you can be yourself again. That is probably what your friend meant.

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to extricate myself from a book club that has become too woke and I was wondering how to do it without ending the couple of friendships I actually want to keep. I'm seeing now it's a lost cause and they would hate me if they knew how I really felt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rattled by OP’s reaction to her friend’s comment. She’s not entitled to her views? She cannot be upset about how far left the left has gone? I think it’s super weird that everyone is judging her for being sick of woke politics.

OP and it was just a weird out of the blue thing to say. We were talking about pretty much the furthest thing from that kind of stuff so it felt like something that had been on the tip of her tongue for a long time and she just had to get it out. But then it just kind of hung in the air.

It wasn't out of the blue -- you asked about her moving experience and what she missed/what is different. This is what is different.

Multiple people on the thread have told you that you can be progressive and criticize "wokeness," because to many of us that word refers not to policy preferences but to a certain kind of narrow-mindedness, knee jerk "canceling" people without making any effort to understand where they are coming from for instance. Which is exactly what you are doing, despite a long history with this woman and what sounds like quite a bit in common. But you seem determined to interpret her vague and open-to-interpretation comment as evidence she's racist or MAGA. That's so limited and weird! Just have a conversation with your friend and talk it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rattled by OP’s reaction to her friend’s comment. She’s not entitled to her views? She cannot be upset about how far left the left has gone? I think it’s super weird that everyone is judging her for being sick of woke politics.

OP and it was just a weird out of the blue thing to say. We were talking about pretty much the furthest thing from that kind of stuff so it felt like something that had been on the tip of her tongue for a long time and she just had to get it out. But then it just kind of hung in the air.

It wasn't out of the blue -- you asked about her moving experience and what she missed/what is different. This is what is different.

Multiple people on the thread have told you that you can be progressive and criticize "wokeness," because to many of us that word refers not to policy preferences but to a certain kind of narrow-mindedness, knee jerk "canceling" people without making any effort to understand where they are coming from for instance. Which is exactly what you are doing, despite a long history with this woman and what sounds like quite a bit in common. But you seem determined to interpret her vague and open-to-interpretation comment as evidence she's racist or MAGA. That's so limited and weird! Just have a conversation with your friend and talk it out.

Fair enough. When I asked what she missed, I was expecting her to say something about the seasonal produce or where we used to go swimming together! That’s why it felt out of the blue. I think it has probably been weighing on her quite heavily while she lived here but she might not have realized it until she moved away, and it probably felt good to share it with someone. I just thought we were going to be talking about avocados.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are so woke you are blind to it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rattled by OP’s reaction to her friend’s comment. She’s not entitled to her views? She cannot be upset about how far left the left has gone? I think it’s super weird that everyone is judging her for being sick of woke politics.

OP and it was just a weird out of the blue thing to say. We were talking about pretty much the furthest thing from that kind of stuff so it felt like something that had been on the tip of her tongue for a long time and she just had to get it out. But then it just kind of hung in the air.

It wasn't out of the blue -- you asked about her moving experience and what she missed/what is different. This is what is different.

Multiple people on the thread have told you that you can be progressive and criticize "wokeness," because to many of us that word refers not to policy preferences but to a certain kind of narrow-mindedness, knee jerk "canceling" people without making any effort to understand where they are coming from for instance. Which is exactly what you are doing, despite a long history with this woman and what sounds like quite a bit in common. But you seem determined to interpret her vague and open-to-interpretation comment as evidence she's racist or MAGA. That's so limited and weird! Just have a conversation with your friend and talk it out.

Fair enough. When I asked what she missed, I was expecting her to say something about the seasonal produce or where we used to go swimming together! That’s why it felt out of the blue. I think it has probably been weighing on her quite heavily while she lived here but she might not have realized it until she moved away, and it probably felt good to share it with someone. I just thought we were going to be talking about avocados.

So you thought she'd say something light and she said something serious. And instead of digging in, you just let it sit there awkwardly, judged her without really knowing the context, and moved on.

Like one question I would have asked her is whether she was talking about the town community or the school. It is VERY easy for me to imagine someone frustrated with wokeness in a progressive school community even if they largely share the same politics, because schools can be insane about this kind of thing. Once I was chaperoning a field trip with our very progressive elementary school and told a kid who was looking for a recycling bin and couldn't find one that it was okay to put an aluminum can in the trash in that situation. Another mom overheard this and literally gossiped about it for weeks, she was so upset that I'd said it was okay to put a recyclable in a trash can on this one occasion. To this day, I think this woman thinks I hate the environment. I recycle! But I failed some litmus test of hers so now I'm a bad person.

That's what a lot of UMC, crunchy environments are like. It's psycho, and I can imagine living with that for years and then going somewhere where no one is going to indict you forever over a single aluminum can and it just being a massive relief.

Maybe if you asked a follow up, you might have learned something not only about your friend, but about how the communities you are a part of make some people feel. Could be a growth moment for you too.

[Anonymous]

I’m liberal a knee jerk one and I find my friends in Seattle EXHAUSTING. If you don’t know why, it’s holding Black Lives Matter block parties with vegan snacks and local fruits. It’s just performative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was telling you she voted for Trump. I don't know if she wanted you to be "one of the good ones" and signal back that you did too, or if she was trying to subtly gloat that her side is ascendant so now she doesn't have to pretend to care anymore about "celebrating all the holidays" and "having civil discourse with people in an interracial marriage."

This. I'm as liberal as they come- and sometimes some things can be over the top even for me. I still don't use the MAGA-co-opted word 'woke' to describe this. It's a dog whistle. To have asked 'tell me more about what you mean?' would have resulted in you learning further details on what you don't want to be true. This is better. You can pretend not to know this about her and remain friends or let this die so she can commit to her red-pill rabbit hole echo chamber location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m rattled by OP’s reaction to her friend’s comment. She’s not entitled to her views? She cannot be upset about how far left the left has gone? I think it’s super weird that everyone is judging her for being sick of woke politics.

Precisely. This entire thread, starting with OP being "rattled" by an innocuous comment, is Exhibit A in how completely nutty many Democrats have become. "Block her! She's a racist!" Clearly, there are mental issues at play here.

The Pew Research Foundation established that the majority of women under 30 who identify as liberal are indeed mentally ill.

Think about what that says about the Democrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means she's always been a racist and now feels free to spread it around. Good riddance.

It actually means that she is relieved not to deal with people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m liberal a knee jerk one and I find my friends in Seattle EXHAUSTING. If you don’t know why, it’s holding Black Lives Matter block parties with vegan snacks and local fruits. It’s just performative.

Wut? Local fruits are now “woke”? This is why it’s so hard to take people who “hate woke” seriously lol. Fruits?!?!